12 Tips for the Convert Muslim


By Brother Alex (Dallas, TX)

1. Practice Islam as much as you can

“He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Tirmidhi)

As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices in this religion. The struggle that we face, with such a radical change in lifestyle, is difficult and will take some time. Awkward moments are bound to happen, don’t fret. You are not expected to wake up at 4am every morning to pray tahajjud (extra night prayers). If you have problems with certain practices, then gradually work yourself into the mindset of worship. A counselor once told me when I was young, “How do you eat an elephant? Just One bite at a time.” Think of it as one step at a time. Pray to Allah (swt) and ask for Him to make it easy for you and the rest will come naturally.

Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely. Read the Qur’an whenever possible. Find a collection of hadith, such as Riyadh us-Saliheen, and read it often. You will start to feel a connection to Allah (swt) and you will become used to Islam as a religion and way of life.

2.  Respect your parents

“Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Ahmad, Nasa’i)

Keeping up a good relationship with your family is essential. Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion. This is almost unavoidable, but your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist if you stay calm during these tense moments. Gradually, your parents will gain some respect and understanding of Islam and may start to become genuinely interested. This is a great sign and insha’Allah, God will make a way for them to accept Islam.

What you do not want to do is act like you know everything, attempt to debate everything, or overly defend yourself in a way that might make you angry or upset. This will just cause heartache and uneasiness. Your priority now should be to work on yourself.

3. Find a teacher

“For him who follows a path for seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the path to Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Finding a teacher to bounce ideas off of is a great way to learn your deen (religion). I found it is good to find someone with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and American culture. It is difficult to listen to someone with a thick accent or someone with a back-home mentality. When I first accepted Islam, I would drive every day to visit my teacher and I would ask him what seemed like an endless stream of questions. Sometimes he seemed overwhelmed! This is a great way to clarify things you hear on Sheikh Youtube or Google or any part of the Qur’an you are reading at the time.

This will also help you have a real grounding in the Islamic tradition. You will eventually have spent more time learning Islam than most people from Muslim families. Maintain a sense of humility if you do gain a lot of knowledge, as there will always be someone who will be more knowledgeable than you. Learn everything you can in small chunks, no one is asking you to be a scholar!

4. Keep away from debates and arguments

“Verily anger spoils faith as aloe spoils honey.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

Trying to constantly defend your religion is something that will cause you a lot of stress. I remember when I first accepted Islam, it seemed like the whole world was after me. This may happen to different people at different levels, but it was a very overwhelming experience for me. The best thing to do is avoid these arguments at all costs. If you are mature about your religion and display a desire to explain yourself without refuting others, then many doors will open for you. You are bound to give someone a refreshing view of Islam, which is what so many people are hungry for after seeing Islam in such a negative light in the media.

Staying away from these discussions will put you at peace and give you breathing room. A lot of converts are not really comfortable with bringing up their religion because of the backlash they receive. Personally, I recognized that if I just mention it when necessary, I get a more positive reaction. You’ll be surprised to hear “Oh that’s cool dude, what made you pick that religion?” This is always an opportunity for da’wah (inviting to Islam).

5. Gain a connection to the Arabic language

“Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 12:2

This is one of my favorite parts of becoming a Muslim. To be honest, I’m a language-lover and I realize everyone is not the same in this regard. Just because you failed high school Spanish though doesn’t mean you will have trouble with Arabic. There are many tricks to learning the language that I won’t go into here, but there are ways to make this easier on yourself. These methods can be found online or in books; with a little research you can pave your way to gaining an understanding of Arabic.

Start by learning the alphabet and connecting letters together. You can learn this in an afternoon if you know someone that is a native Arabic speaker (but go at your own pace). Sit on that for a while and eventually you will be able to follow along in the Qur’an if you listen to a recitation on your computer or MP3 player. You will start to recognize words, after which you can get into simple grammar rules. I recommend learning common nouns and prepositions first (words like “in”, “on”, “for” and “with”).

Arabic can be really enjoyable, and you are bound to gain an Islamic vocabulary after listening to talks or lectures. Eventually you will know meanings of words like “furqaan” and “sajdah” and you’ll be able to use them in conversations with Muslims. Sabr (patience) is essential!

6. Understand Islam’s organic nature

“Those who make things hard for themselves will be destroyed. (He said it three times.)”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Coming to Islam will sometimes put you in a situation where you are overwhelmed with opinions that are hard to follow. As an example, one might be told that you have to wash your feet every time you make wudhu (ablution) unless you wipe over leather socks that have been worn from your previous wudhu. For most Americans, the idea of wearing leather socks is something that we find extremely unusual. If we do a little research, we find there are opinions of scholars that mention the permissibility of wiping over cotton socks (even ones with holes in them!). To an American convert, these opinions can cause a huge sigh of relief.

7. Maintain your Identity

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 49:1

Being a Muslim is a huge part of your identity now. That doesn’t mean you can’t barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic creed, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. You do not need to start wearing Arab or Indian clothing. As long as your clothes cover what they are supposed to cover, you are in the clear.

Many converts are also exposed to really weird food that is overly spicy or funny tasting. This might lead us to think that eating curry is sunnah or something righteous. We can still have our own culture and tastes in food: pot roast and beans are still halal!

There are many other examples of things that you will be exposed to that are from foreign cultures and do not necessarily have anything to do with Islam. Our goal as new Muslims is to worship Allah (swt), not to add a Pakistani or Arab identity to our persona.

It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinion in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Most people in masajid will have a very limited view of the juristic possibilities inside the Islamic tradition. Islam is a vast tradition and we should not make it small. These diverse opinions are there to help us, not cause strain on ourselves.

8. Force yourself to go to the masjid

“The person who receives the greatest reward for the Salah is one who lives the farthest and has the farthest to walk.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Bukhari, Muslim)

Going on Fridays is a given, but I would also recommend trying to fit a few prayers (at least) per week in the masjid. This will open many doors for you and will insha’Allah grant many good deeds to your account. You will meet people who are connected to Islam; networking opportunities are more readily available; and you are bound to make long-lasting friends. This is one of the things that I really love about Islam, that you can almost always find people in the masjid.

Although this may be hard initially, try and go to the masjid. The payoff will be huge, even if you just pray and leave right after. You will eventually warm up to the community and you can feel more comfortable going to the masjid whenever you like.

9. Find Muslim friends and avoid severing ties

“On the Day of Resurrection Allah Almighty will proclaim: “Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shade where there is no shade but Mine.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Saying “As-salamu ‘Alaykum” ( “Peace be upon you”)  to people you see on campus or at the grocery store is a real blessing in Islam. It immediately lets people know you are Muslim and they usually will be happy to return the greeting and hopefully share a few words with you. Doors of friendship will be opened and you will meet lots of people. Try and spend some time with Muslims when you can. It is beneficial to remind yourself that you are not the only Muslim on the planet and you share your religion with almost 2 billion people around the globe.

Also, don’t sever your friendships with your non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (swt) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.

10. Avoid Loneliness

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

This is a major problem in the convert community. We are lonely. The best thing we can do to fight the feeling of loneliness is to spend as much time as possible with good company. Having dinners with people a few nights a week is a sure way to maintain a good attitude. The practice of becoming a nun or a monk is alien to Islam; we are social creatures and Islam recognizes this.

Try not to lock yourself away in your apartment to avoid the world. This will just cause a vicious cycle that will cause deep depression and can lead to searching for solace in haram (unlawful).

Make it an obligation on yourself to remain a sociable human being. It takes a lot of work but the result is happiness and contentment in life.

11. Stay away from extremism

“And thus we have made you a just community that you will be witnesses over the people.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 2:143

Most converts do not enter Islam looking for an extremist point of view. Unfortunately, we have seen some converts do end up overseas working for terrorist organizations. This is something that can happen from a person feeling victimized or ostracized by their own culture and being overcome with anger.

I personally have not had a problem with anyone trying to “radicalize” me. It does happen enough though that it should be a concern. It will be best for you to keep your head on your shoulders and not get caught up with extreme points of view. Know that all of the scholars overseas and in America have absolutely refuted terrorism in their fatawa (legal rulings). Extremism is on the very edges of the Islamic thought. Do your best to stay on a middle way.

12. Do not despair

“So know that victory is with patience, and relief is with distress and that with hardship comes ease.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

Being a convert to Islam, you will face a lot of tribulations. There is not anything that you cannot overcome though, and never despair in Allah (swt).

Allah (swt) guided to you to Islam, you searched for the answer and you found it. Be happy and constantly remind yourself of the blessings in your life. There are a lot of good things that will happen to you and you are on the straight road to Jannah (paradise). Rejoice in being Muslim. Remember the Sahabah (companions) were all converts to Islam and they were human beings that came from Adam and Eve just like you! Be strong and find comfort in your prayers and worship to Allah (swt). The first six months were the hardest for me, and insha’Allah we will all continue to grow as a convert community in America.

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251 Comments

  1. Lub1004 says:

    Jazak Allahu khayran! I really LOVE this article. And I love brother Suhaib’s website and the many fantastic writers. I find the best thing about the articles on this site is that they are not superficial, admonishing or away from our realities, but really deep and soo inspiring. I find myself in these articles, and they are a great comfort. Thank you so much for your work. I am a convert from Germany and live in an area where virtually no Muslims are found at all .. So sites like yours mean A LOT to me. May Allah bless you, protect you and your beloved ones, keep you well, make it easy for you and grant you the highest stage in Jannah. Ameen. Salamzz to the writer, all readers, Imam Suhaib and all working with him for this site, and to alll my Muslim sisters and brothers here :)

    • Joshua Smith says:

      Hello I am really interested in converting to Islam what is required as where can I go to learn more as I want to make myself whole through the teachings of Islam

      • TStranger says:

        I converted to Islam sometimes back and this site has had been a wonderful help to me. This religion has been made easy and it is easy, just try be patient bro, with respect to what surrounds you and what is in yourself.

        And subscribe to this site, http://www.youtube.com/user/khalifahklothing?feature=CAQQwRs%3D.

        I would just add, that be careful from whom you are learning your Islam; The Qur’an is here and so is the Sunnah. People will try to mess your mind up and there are a hell of a lot of innovators and deviants.

        May Allah bless you with the best of what lies in this world, the best of what lies in the hereafter and protects you from the Evil that He has created, Ameen.

      • ferbnachi says:

        it’s very simple joshua, you can purchase some islamic books especially the holy quran and other books of the hadiths particularly albokhaari, besides this, look for some friends in your area with whom you can talk and discuss every things that comes to your mind, and it would be better if you go to a mosque where you can get an immense help from our brothers and there are also tens of islamic sites in the interned from which u can benefit. wish you the best brother :)

  2. muslimahhk says:

    JazakaAllahu Khayr this was a masterpiece article.

    Brother can please also write an article for the “old Reverts” to islam.

    I see that most of us (all the old reverts that i know of) are MashaAllah very much devoted to Allah they leave their parents (if they have to) they study Islam and scarifice everything for Islam.

    but when years pass the iman goes so down that it becomes a burden on the heart and soul even to pray 1 fard salah. If you can please teach us how can one get back to that similar state? how can we get back that high iman?

    JazakaAllahu Khayr

    • Patricia says:

      Muslimahhk, Alsalamulaikum. I hear you when you say about how the faith seems to go down with time. I myself have been a muslimah for 28 years and feel my faith has been tested over the years. With a bad example of a husband, I slowly slacked off my prayers as well and like you, have been struggling just to pray one. I do believe this is quite common when life just gets to be too much stress. You and I must be leaders, however and begin to try to rekindle our faith by reading the Qur’an and having the best of friends. If we stay away from the Muslim population, I believe this is more likely to happen. You still have faith however, because you recognize that you have lost it and want it back. I am the same way, I recognize this is something that needs to be fixed. You are feeling dissonance because you place a high value on Islam but are not following through with its teachings. This is probably more common that we think. People go through many ups and downs in their lives and faith will go up and down as well. I do however think that whether one is born a Muslim or a revert, the faith will waver. You know, the prayers are obligatory but they are a way to remember Allah. We need to develop a relationship with Allah so we do not feel like we are only doing a ritual. I hope this helps, as I am struggling as well.
      Patricia

      • TJ Blackwell says:

        Asalaamu Alaykum! Personally, I’ve found it hard practicing Islam just for the simple fact that I really didn’t have anyone to connect with. Sure one can purchase books, do countless hours of research online, but the fact of the matter is reverting is difficult and without a community to help you through, it just makes things just more difficult. This article is a godsend, just for the fact that it points out the problems with reverting and offers solutions.
        I will say this: PATRICIA is correct in stating that “we need to develop a relationship with Allah…” From what I was taught in Christianity, the day of judgement is a time where you have to account for the good and bad you have done in this life. NO PERSON can vouch for you! And from what I’ve heard in khutbahs at the local masjids, the same can be said in the perspective of Islam! Being part of the community HELPS in the spiritual growth of a revert, but one still needs to take time and build a personal relationship with Allah. May Allah bless us all with the strength and wisdom to continue to learn! Ameen!

        • Young Convert says:

          I have been Muslim for two years and I am developing depression. It’s great because it’s very similar to drowning alone and having no one to help you.

        • FEzz says:

          Do umrah. Just BE THERE; even if you dont understand every spritual historical intricacy. WOrks wonders

        • Patience.is.beautiful. says:

          to YOUNG CONVERT,

          it sounds like you are in a very lonely place right now and potentially worrisome. You could use a friend. Are you in the area of SUheib Webb’s Masjid? Not sure how young you actually are but what about joining an MSA somewhere? If you are in the Cambridge area there are Islam 101 classes that I have made good friends with…

  3. Emily says:

    Alhamdulillah, this is a wonderful article. Case in point: I don’t remember the last time I actually said “alhamdulillah” before now, but hearing someone FINALLY addressing the everyday struggles of American converts is so encouraging that I just felt like reaffirming my deen.

    My husband is also a convert and everything comes so naturally to him; sometimes I feel like the trouble I have in adapting to Islam means that deep down I’m not a good Muslim. It’s heartbreaking! But to hear that other converts have dealt with the same hurdles- dissenting family, feelings of loneliness, and the fear of losing your identity- and come through it just fine is such a relief.
    Thank you so much for posting this. I will keep up with this blog!

  4. Barbara says:

    Subhanallah and therefore the best guide is He. Reading and studying the Holy Quran for the past three months has me understand with certainty it is He who IS and always will BE in charge.Was-taghfirul-laaha innal-laaha Ghafuurur-Raheem!

  5. Ingrid says:

    READING THIS HAS GIVEN ME STRENGTH AFTER ALWAYS FEELING DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. I KNOW NOW THIS IS A JOURNEY OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND NOT A SPRINT. MY PRIZE IS NOT GETTING TO THE FINISH LINE FIRST BUT GETTING THERE KNOWING WHY I STARTED THE JOURNEY IN THE FIRST PLACE.(IEB)

  6. khalid says:

    MashaAllah,

    I feel most of these things are as applicable to *born* muslims as well.

  7. Abdullah says:

    As Salaam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

    This is a very nice article, particularly point 4, with the exception of point 11.

    Terrorism only effects a very small minority of reverts. It is not the only extremism that affects the Muslim community and not the most common by a long way. The extreme of liberalism is by far more common and more deserving of a tip.

  8. sherri weitnauer says:

    Wow, I feel so blessed. How is it that I have been feeling so many of these EXACT things…and then this post shows up on my facebook? Thank you, Brother Alex. I REALLY needed your words in my life today! I feel better already…Alhamdulillah!

  9. nina says:

    assalamualaikum,

    very nice and inspiring article :)

  10. Intikhab says:

    Alhamdulillah
    JazakaAllahu Khayr this was a masterpiece article.

    Brother can please also write an article for the “old Reverts” to islam.

  11. Faisal says:

    Very very nice jazakallah

  12. asra says:

    Assalamualaikum i was born into islam Alhamdullilah. I believe as muslims converted or not, the advice Br. Alex gave was right on the mark! it was very helpful for ALL muslims! Alienating ourselves is very harmful for any person, but going to the masjid and other religious gatherings can be very encouraging. Unfortunately there are people who may not show interest in being friends-i’ve had an experience where a women met me at a park and talked to me for an hr then at the masjid and other gatherings she COMPLETELY IGNORED ME!wouldnt even return my salam!!! but InshaAllah if u love Allah and Rasulullah then Allah will love YOU and have others luv u for the sake of him!!!

  13. Abdul Kareem says:

    Assallaam aliakum.
    As a revert in Australia of a little over three years I found the article very encouraging.
    I am lonely, I had to leave old friends behind, their lifestyles were incompatible with Islam.
    Insha’allah I will make new friends, I am now in Adelaide SA and have found a wonderful masjid.

  14. Saba says:

    JazakAllah..An Inspiring Article for All Muslims !!

  15. Dave says:

    One of the things that I wish I had been given was a “Roadmap”

    Something that said “Ok – now you have got past the Shahada, you really should look at covering these things next….”

    So here am I, ten years on and still doing things in a pretty haphazard fashion. Trying to learn a simple surah when I can, learning a Doa here or there….

    So I turn up at Terawih and realise that I don’t know the prayers that people recite between rakaa’ – I went to the Masjid for night prayers this Ramadan (first time) and found that I really didn’t know what was going on…. (I asked after the first night)

    But that roadmap would be really nice….

  16. noor ul haram says:

    MAshAllah although i am muslim by birth . belong to muslim family still unfortunately i am looking for ways to become a good muslim . and these tips were quiet helpful . JAzakAllah brother.

    • Asalamu Alaikum. Ramadan Mubarak.

      All Praises to Allah. We are all Muslims by birth. This point must be understood. Carefully read Surah 30 Ar Rum, ayat 30 and understand mankind was created and born with Allah’s Fitrah (Allah’s Islamic Monotheism). Then read Sahih Al Bukhari Vol. 2, hadith #467 which relates what The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about every child being born in the state of Fitrah (Islamic Monotheism)and what happens . Also Read Surah 7 Al-A’raf ayats 172 – 174 which addresses the testimony of Adam’s seed to the reality of the essence of Islamic Monotheism. Surah 37 As-Saffat ayats 81 – 87 and see clearly Abraham followed Noah’s way – Islamic Monotheism. Surah 2 Al Baqarah ayat 21 addresses this essence and ayat 130 -131 clearly makes the point of Abraham’s submission and ayat 135 Allah tells The Prophet to say we follow only the religion of Abraham, Hanifan [Islamic Monotheism]and Abraham was not of those who worshiped others with Allah..

      We understand, Hanif, Islamic Monotheism is the religion of Abraham peace be upon him… and ayat 138 clarified for all humankind that there is no better Sibghah than the Sibghah of Allah. Ayat 143 teaches and reveals the essences of how the message of Islamic Monotheism flowed from Noah to humankind today and how the true believing Muslim followers of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, will bear witness in Noah’s favor that Noah delivered the Message of Islamic Monotheism to humankind and that Prophet Muhammad will be the witness over us that the Message of Islamic Monotheism – Allah’s Fitrah survived. Sahih Al Bukhari Vol. 6 Book 60 Hadith 14 sets-forth what The Prophet said about Surah 2:143. The Fitrah was known and witnessed to by Adam’s seed – whether one reverts back to the Allah’s Fitrah and becomes a believing Muslim is humankind’s ultimate test and All Knowledge and Power is with Allah Subhana wa’Tala. Any errors I have made in trying to explain why it is important to understand the reality that all humankind is born Muslim – in submission to Allah is seek Allah’s forgiveness. We must seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave and be careful of the sources on which we base our Deen. The best tafisir of Al Quran is Al Quran itself and what The Prophet has brought and given us. Ramadan Mubarak

  17. Caron says:

    I am just about to start my conversion study with my teacher and this is the happiest time in my life.

    One of my friends opened my eyes to the possibilities that Islam could offer.

    I have also started to learn Farsi as my friend is from Iran and I would like to converse fluently with many other people from the Persian community in Australia.

    What I have just read on this page was just what I needed to help clear up a few things before meeting my teacher.

  18. Patricia says:

    Faisal, Assalualaikum. I understand exactly the feeling of losing the iman that you have described. I have been a Muslim for 28 years and over the past 2 or 3, I have felt badly about myself. This all came about because of a struggle with my marriage. My husband’s faith went down first and he stopped praying period. He has been a very bad example of Islam. He has been abusing me with words for many years. I know he does not feel good about himself but with time it seemed to keep me upset and rub off on me. I always wish he would be a better example but that has never happened. I do think we are being tested and we must be the leaders and not wait for others to lead the way. I think if we would read the Quran more frequently, we may find the answers we are looking for. By the way, just the fact that you recognize that your faith has gone down means that you still have faith. You need to reignite this faith and so do I. I do think that whether one was born into the faith or a revert, we suffer the same when it comes to Iman. May Allah guide us toward a strong iman and show us the way.

  19. K@MiL says:

    Ma’shallah!! Your statements were very genuine and truly inspring… Just what I needed to continue my struggle (jihad) . I reflect on these tips when I feel like I am slipping away from my deen and reminds me to live for Allah. Thank you!

  20. Butterfly6 says:

    What may have started out as an article to help new Muslims seems to have had the effect of encouraged ALL Muslims. Even one that thought she wasn’t Muslim because she didn’t do it right. Thank you for this article. I am humbled and see things very differently now.

  21. Shaunna says:

    MashaAllah such a fantastic reminder…and much needed. These are such basic points, but I feel I can take bits out of every single paragraph in the article and immediately apply them to my life. Thank you again, jazak Allah khair.

  22. Christine says:

    Wow, I loved this. I have been Muslim for 3 yrs now and I feel so alone. My family was so angry, they need a reason, But it was just me. I meet my husband a year later and he is wonderful, just not really the teaching type…but then I question everything ..lol I feel so lonely, I have such a hard time managing kids, full-time work and my salat. I have few Muslim friends. I have yet to develop this deep love for Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). I converted after hearing Quran and reading it. It can be so hard, but atlease I know I am not the only one. I can’t even talk to my family about it because they just beg me to come back to Catholicism…. Thanks brother for the article, it does sooth ones heart. I think as converts we are hard on ourselves!

  23. Karimah bint Abdul-Aziz says:

    Alhamdulillah! I so needed this today! Although I have been Muslim for almost 11 years, I have been undergoing a crisis of faith over the past months. This article encouraged me, gave me some direction, and most important, told me that I am not a bad person and I am not alone! Subhanallah! I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and may Allah bless you to continue to give helpful information for all of us.

  24. Rozaimi says:

    thank you for a well-thought article. this applies not just to converts but born muslims, like me, who always forget to be grateful, forget to be courteous, forget those who are in need, forget to call our parents as often as we should and the list goes on. may God bless you!

  25. Terence(Muhammad Adil) says:

    Assalam Alaikum,thank you loads for this article, i just converted since 3 days :), i am really happy, I know what is waiting for me, Allah Almighty guide me to this website to get courage.

  26. Abu Saalih says:

    As-salaamu alaykum, akhee re: the hadeeth: “He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise.” – in Sunan at-Tirmidhee, I could only find it with this wording: “..and whoever aHyaa (REVIVES) my Sunnah has loved me…” (no.2678)- Note: However though, it is declared “Da’eef” in Saheeh wa Da’eef Sunan at-Tirmidhee (no.2678), Mishkaah al-Masaabeeh no.175 and Da’eef al-Jaami’ no.6389. baaraka Allaahu feekum.

  27. Nurina says:

    Alhamdulillah,
    It’s so good to realize I’m not alone. I’ve been a Muslim for almost 19 years. Similar to some of the others my husband never kept the promise he made to really teach me the faith. We prayed togehter once int he first week we were married and that was it. Now in the midst of a divorce I find myself alone with no-one to guide me when I need the faith the most…

  28. ahmad says:

    As-Salaamualikum, jazakAllahkhayr for this excellent advice. Sh Suhaib. We are a group in Toronto, Canada trying to help with new muslims. Please check out our website http://www.lightofmercy.ca We can also be reached at facebook.com/lightofmercy — inshaAllah we hope to work with u in the future. Keep these articles coming they r much needed!

  29. Martin says:

    Alhamdullilah, may allah accept this great good deed you have done. I converted 2 months ago and you pretty much hit the nail on the head with my struggles and the path I have been on. I really enjoyed reading this and it puts me as ease. Assalamu Alaykum.

  30. Judith says:

    Allah has led me to this page on the internet. Alhamdullilah! Allah is offering me a second opportunity to renew Iman and this time I must make Shahada in front of witnesses. I really struggle with the prayers but insh’Allah I will persevere. There is only one way the right way for me and Islam is it. I am very shy about mixing with Umma; I am getting older now. It is not so easy but I pray that Allah will send sisters who can assist me and hopefully get my ego out of the way to accept help. This article is great and also the comments.
    Salaam and Blessings
    Judith (Australia)

  31. Maria says:

    Hi. I am a convert too, and I agree with your advice in this article. I am still friends with a couple of people I knew from before converting. Howeverm I must admit they spend a lot of time on facebook and are not so great influences and I should avoid seing them so much.

    2. Why do many people not answer “Salam Alaikum” from converts? I say this in appropriate circumstances to other females and they many times don’t answer me. Maybe they think they are “holier than thou,” but I know that it is sunnah to reply to a greeting, even if the person is not muslim. Many lifelong musims do not read Quran or hadith do not believe if you quote them something.

    3.I am a hijab wearer and I would like to warn other converts of females who don’t wear it (muslims). They will try to make you take it off in their home, even if guys are coming home, etc. Somehow they enjoy it, but don’t let this happen to you.

    4.Don’t let people confuse you about stuff like wearing socks or not wearing them, and such issues that are up for dispute. You can read the Holy Quran and hadith yourself and come to the conclusion that makes you comfortable concerning these minor issues. Remind people that calling something haram that is not actually haram is a terrible deed. It is best to keep your opinion to yourself and not try to teach others regarding this type of thing.
    5.My advice to other converts is to not try to copy others or envy other people. You may have a friend who does not need to work. However, if you are from a different social class and are obligated to work, and so on, you should not feel bad for being a sister who cannot stay in her home. We feel tempted to hide from the world, being sisters and wanting to be good muslimah. Being a convert, you are probably are from an American family and have no support. So, don’t feel bad that you can’t go hide somewhere! Take pride in earning your own living if there is no one to support you.

    Thank you for the article. Being a convert, you can feel like grass that sways in the wind, bit as long as you stay rooted, everything will turn out fine.

  32. Anousha says:

    Wow! What a fantastic article. Made me feel so strong and understood. Being a recent convert to Islam I found a lot of solace in your words. May Allah bless you. Thank you and keep writing.

  33. Azzah says:

    Masha ALLAH. There are no other words after reading this article. Masha ALLAH. Baarakallahu fiik my Brother. And I personally, is amazed by Muslims who live in a non-Muslim community. You must’ve faced a lot of difficulties and hardships in practicing Islam. And yet, your Imaan does not decrease a little. Rather it keeps growing stronger and stronger each and every day. Masha ALLAH, Subhanallah ALLAHu Akbar for the ni’mah brother masha ALLAH.

  34. New Muslimah says:

    I have read this article many times and just returned to read it again because I am feeling very overwhelmed. I often make the mistake of reading the news, where I see so many articles about people hating Muslims, targeting women in hijab, etc. Also, I have also been learning more about this Deen and keep coming across so many lists of “it is forbidden to…” listing all the things that are sins.

    Right this minute I can say it is overwhelming and scary to be a new Muslim. I feel like I’m having to chop off parts of my life in order to fit into the small, cramped container that all these rules dictate.

    I had not expected to feel this way.

    • ferbnachi says:

      salam; try sister to take it easy, islam is a very simple and beautiful religion; of course as a new muslimah u gonna face difficulties coz u started adopting what u weren’t familiar with; but everything in islam goes well with the human nature as it’s the way of life chosen by God for his creation, as for what u see in the news; this is a part of islamophobia just try to learn and read a lot about your new religion then u’ll know that what these channels broadcast about islam is nonsense and are just there to mislead and fool people…as far as the “forbiddens” is concerned, the things which aren’t lawful for muslims are clearly stated in the holy quran very few and and justifiable by the common sense and Allah knows what is best for us….my advice for u sis, try to read the quran regularly, look for some sisters to spend time with them.. and ask the almighty to make it easy for u……i wish u all the best :) salam

    • Andy says:

      1. You will have to lose the haram western habits. Not negotiable. So, a period of change and adjustment, no denying that.

      2. Don’t believe the hype! The media thrive on scare mongering, dividing and conquering, and sensationalism. If it bleeds it leads! Ignore it, or drown in their agenda and irresponsibility !!

      Keep calm, and carry on. Follow Allah, not the pop media!
      :-)

  35. Judith says:

    I did finally make shahada and it was all very easy for me. Now I experience the difficulties mainly with some right winged fundamentalist people. I am learning to trust Allah more and that He will rightly guide me to the most suitable people for me to mix with. So far I have been told to wear a jibab (the long coat); I am a westerner and I dress modestly so I don’t see the need for that one. I went to a support group and experienced some critisicm which i was not expecting so I’m not sure that I will return. Alhamdullilah for this website!

    • Julie says:

      Hello, Judith. I am a convert like yourself. There are a lot of cultural differences as there are so many various Islamic cultures. You don’t have to wear the jibab as that is particular to a certain culture. So long as you have your head covered and have non-fitted clothing with long sleeves and long skirt or pants, you are just fine. There are so many supportive muslims out there, and I keep my company with them. I’m sorry you were criticized. I hope, insha’Allah, that you find a fitting community soon. salaams.

  36. abu saba says:

    Forcing yourself to go to the masjeed is good advise. So much ignorance, racisim and inovation we find in the places we expect to find peace. So very discouraging and worse when you as a convert speak out against it. Why are they always asking for money to listen to speakers and to learn arabic or even the Quran? The masjeed is not a place of business! I have been a muslim for 30 years and have been kicked out of a masjeed by those who are trying to make a living from it. May Allah keep us close to the rightous muslim communities and guide those who hurt and exploit the new muslim converts!

  37. Vipin says:

    Hi..
    Iam a recent revert,i do namaaz 5 times a day, trying to learn arabic, islam but my major problem is regarding masturbation, the more i try the worser it becomes..i feel its tough for me to give it up all of a sudden, will i be forgiven if i tried to do it step by step manner? like reducing the no: of times i masturbate??

    • TStranger says:

      I was addicted to masturbation too! Like I was addicted to guys (I used to be ‘gay’), cigarette, pornography or lying and so on and so forth.
      But I really feel that the best way to just stop masturbating is by just putting a full stop right now, Do not give yourself the opportunity to make it gradual, Just don’t do it.
      I’m a convert (now Muslim) and there may be so many factors that call us to masturbate, like being always horny or just being stressed – I was quite much both. But I feel that if you are to keep yourself in the remembrance of Allah a bit more, things would be easier; I understand that you may have had tried it all or it may be that little voice telling you that you have done as much as you could, but you’ll really have to treble your strife to get yourself rid of as such vice, insha’Allah.
      I ain’t an expert but I feel that if you are to stop the whole thing gradually, Allah is Loving and Forgiving so He actually understands your plight better than you/we do and that He knows our pain as much as we think it is painful for us.
      For anyone who wants to stop that thing, insha’Allah – just keep yourself busy with what is good, which can be either worship or carrying on homework or helping someone we know or trying to learn something new or household chores: Just keep yourself busy with something good insha’Allah.
      Then, I would advise Fasting (For the sake and to reap pleasure of Allah) which may work for many.
      Moreover try to avoid things that will lead us towards as such stuffs, like ‘pornography’, ‘dating’, Music or even as much trivial it may sound to be, avoid watching things which may appear as trivial but yet are filled with sexual innuendos – TV serials etc.
      And, you could get yourself a spouse, I can’t even get married due to a medical condition. Do it if you can.
      Cold baths (even in the middle of a winter night) can work too, and..
      Exercise (may help you to canalize the ‘excess’ energy elsewhere: Bodybuilding and Cardio).
      Check your diet, it may be that your libido may be due to that one. Keep balanced but avoid excessive eating; there are definitely some food around that have aphrodisiac capabilities – check them out.

      My last sentence would be: Know that you might fail doing as so and that you might fall again and again and again but that doesn’t mean that Allah doesn’t want you to stop, actually as you know,He won’t shoulder on us something that we would not be able to bear and if ever you were do it again, just take a bath as soon as possible and repent for it; Make lots of du’as, there are some sunnah du’as against as such ‘ailment’.
      Do not try to get yourself in a ‘lonely’ situation, place your laptop or pc in the living room or near.
      Use a proper porn block..
      Last but not the least, Allah knows everything that you do, He’s closer to you than your own life – To feel His presence, read the Qur’an daily, even if you are to take more time than someone else, just do it!

      ‘Success is a journey, not a destination’,
      ‘The road to/of Success is paved with many failures’..

      Be strong Bro and may Allah bless you tremendously and with the best of what lies herein and in what lies in the hereafter, ameen ya Rabb.

      My apologies if ever and for not disclosing my name.

      • TStranger says:

        not as much but much better*

      • TStranger says:

        I left a long trail of mistakes purporting to syntax, grammar and vocabulary. Please do disregard them.

        Jazaak’Allaah khair.

        • Vipin says:

          Thank you mate
          no need to disclose your identity, infact after posting that I masturbated once. But then i felt really bad and downloaded a porn site blocker, typed a random password and saved it. I’m sure I wont masturbate ever, insha allah, coz masturbating means winning of evil. I wont allow that insha allah.

      • AStranger says:

        Thanks a lot for this mate.
        I’m a born Muslim and been struggling for many years with this problem.
        Guilt and shame were always haunting me every time I do that and I get very depressed some times. Often made me wonder if Allah will ever forgive me, but yeah, we must not give up on His Mercy.
        and yeah, been struggling to stop it. and failed. countless of times already.
        I’m going stop it once and for all, and perhaps the coming Ramadhan can boost my iman up for this.
        May we all be way better Muslims as time goes by. May we all meet in Jannah, insyaAllah. Bless you, and bless Bro Alex and all muslims.

  38. A Sister says:

    I would add do not rush into marriage. If you reverted because of a boy/girlfriend, understand that just because that person brought you to Islam, does not necessarily make them the best spouse for you. Take your time. Wait at least one year after reverting before marrying. Also understand that often times as a revert, you’ll be told things by people that “this is Islam” when reality it’s their culture. If you marry somebody from abroad, you can be felt that you need to adopt their culture’s version of Islam. You don’t. Your opinion/experience as a revert is just as valid.

    With Ramadan coming up (and it being summer time), I’d also say…be gentle with yourself if you have trouble fasting. Take it slow. Strive to do better. Little kids start with half days and gradually build up tolerance. You might need to. Or you might find that Allah(swt) grants you amazing help. I often say that I can’t stick to a diet for two days, but somehow during Ramadan with Allah(swt)’s grace, I can fast. :)

  39. Thanvir Mohamed says:

    written for reverts, this article applies equally well to born muslims like me too:)

  40. Have many muslim friends,ilive in norway.my best friend mamoudh are born in tunis.he have asksed my to maybe convert to islam.i was never before interrested in religion,but time changes fast.

    • Julie says:

      I have many muslim friends, too, and have been profoundly influenced by them; so much so that I decided it was natural for me to convert without anyone trying to convert me. I couldn’t relate to any organized religion either previously, but that has all changed now. I’ve found my home. Best on your journey.

  41. mardiana karim says:

    assalamualaikum,
    i am from malaysia, my husband convert to islam in jordan 3 years ago in intention to get married i am working in malaysia n my husband working in beirut now have been 3 years, n i can see n feel my husband is not intrested to learn more about islam.even the shahadah is been forgoten already,,,i only can pray n ask God to help me to give hidayah for him..

    please advise me..

  42. shabin says:

    Aslamualaikum broths nd sisters..Aftr revert to islam,had to leave all my old friends,.smetmes slip nto lonliness..but im scard of nt being with Allah.

  43. All good advice, Jazak Allah khayr. Though your references to “really weird food” and being unable to learn from someone with a “thick accent” reveal some mental blocks on your part. That person with a thick accent might have great wisdom. It’s a shame to lose out on that.

    • Alex says:

      JazakAllah Khayr for the feedback. I think your criticism is interesting, however, I stand by my choice of words because the objective of this article was to reach out to converts who often have similar perspectives of their surroundings. Language like this is often used, and doesn’t necessarily reflect a mental block on my part. I didn’t ask to ignore people with foreign accents or criticize food. That’s all. :)

  44. Julie says:

    Alex,

    Great article. It’s a very lonely and isolating road to choose to convert to Islam (even being surrounded by friends). I love the article and this site – it’s great to see there’s a whole community out there who feels this way, and that I’m not the only one.
    Shukra.

  45. Sal says:

    I converted based on the Quran and the wisdom it contains. I’m not too sure about how people can believe all that extra material. It’s full of contradictory stuff.

  46. Gabriel says:

    Assalamu alaykum, really nice advice. Unfortunately, many reverts, like myself, are given the cold shoulder or ignored by the community; even when you try to fit in. It is sad to see people leave Islam because of this.

    • Tstranger says:

      Wa’alaykum salaam wa rahmatulaahi wa barakaatuh, I think that I understand how it feels like (being a convert myself). But I also think that this is a sort of trial and that the only relationship we should work (like hell) for is our relationship with Allah – if that is correct or is corrected, then we wouldn’t be seeking further except that Allah may reward us with good company, =).

      May Allah eases your path and blesses you with the best in this life and the next, Ameen.. =).

  47. Muhammad Talut says:

    Its all extremely sad that this is happening and is a failure on our part of born Muslims to not entertain them. Its tear jerking.

    Converts or reverts are just the finest people out there. Have so much respect for them.

    But i do not understand why people leave Islam.I hope they just go underground or become passive but blunt denial of Allah and Messenger and Islam so quickly is not understood.

    If an American is being bullied by Americans, he will not give up his US citizenship because he knows its not the fault of USA but the people.

    Why not here in case of Islam where the fault is of Muslims and not Allah and Messenger and Quran. Just thinking.

    • Andy says:

      Good point! Just gotta be strong and maintain a straight path bro….,

    • Paul Bartlett says:

      You wrote, “But i do not understand why people leave Islam.I hope they just go underground or become passive but blunt denial of Allah and Messenger and Islam so quickly is not understood.” Of the estimated 50% – 75% of converts to Islam in the USA (I don’t know about other countries) who leave, some do just become passive and more or less give up on any religion. They are not really hostile: mostly they don’t care any more. A few do become hostile to religion of any kind, becoming rather militant atheists. And some conclude that Islam is not the truth (or at least final truth) after all and convert (or re-convert, in some cases) to a non-Islamic religion.

      Not long ago I had an email from a long distance acquaintance in which he wrote, “While humans cannot be expected to be perfect, and on the intellectual level even those looking at the faith from the outside can typically comprehend that mis-conduct and vices of a particular Muslim (or even many of them) does not necessarily reflect the teaching of the faith, nevertheless, the soul tends to be indisposed to a social group (and hence a religion) if one’s experience with its followers has been more negative than positive.” Some people’s experiences with the Muslim community *are* so bad that they do turn against the religion itself.

      In some instances there can be another issue. I have noticed that in some places, individuals are allowed and even encouraged to make Shahada with no one really knowing why they are expressing interest in Islam in the first place. They may be totally, completely sincere, so there cannot be any implication or accusation of hypocrisy or bad intent. Nevertheless, their motivations and understanding of Islam can actually be quite muddled or confused in the first place, and nobody knows it, even the individuals themselves. Just say these Arabic words. Then they get no support, no help in internalizing their Islam and correcting their misunderstandings and askew motivations, so eventually they leave.

  48. Andy says:

    Good point! Just gotta be strong and maintain a straight path brother …. Ignore the ‘road blocks’

  49. Rida says:

    Assalam-o-alikum. its so sad that born Muslims have failed to support and accomodate converts. We need to look at converts with the highest level of respect and admiration. Unlike born Muslims they’ve actually sacrificed so much for their Iman. We,born Muslims take our Iman, our knowledge and relation with Allah for granted. Converts are like the Sahaba, Allah blessed them with insight and poured light into their hearts so that they actually CHOSE Allah and His Messenger saw over everything.
    I just pray that Allah makes it easy on the converts and gives them patience so that they never ever even think of letting go of this precious priceless thing that they have been blessed with.

  50. Reverted says:

    May Allah S.W.T. make things easy for our revert brothers & sisters and give them patience and big reward in Hereafter. [Ameen]

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