In-Law Interference


Part I | Part II

Ask a Muslim couple to give you a challenge in their relationship and many will say “family interference.”  The stress that family and in-law interference brings to a marriage can be so overwhelming that for some couples it can lead to divorce.  In a recent study by Sound Vision, it was found that ten percent of divorces were a result of family interference. The parent-child relationship, like the husband-wife relationship, is a special bond that encounters challenges when the child moves into a marital relationship, causing everyone to learn how to navigate their new roles.  In order for couples to maintain healthy relationships with their parents, while simultaneously nurturing their own marriage, there needs to be communication and a clear understanding of the changing relationships.

Parents and extended family are vital in that they provide the new couple with stability and support.  However, if boundaries are not clearly defined, it can overwhelm a couple and erode their marital bond. The collectivist cultures many immigrant families come from have begun to clash with the individualist society we live in and many families are not able to find peaceful co-existence in their newly formed families.  Discussions about problems with in-laws and family interference in our community are met with two common arguments: that “children” need to remember to obey their parents and that parents just need to stop “meddling” and allow the new couple space to grow and nurture the relationship. However, neither of these arguments addresses the core issue that is causing in-laws to interfere in today’s nuclear families.

Most immigrants, who arrived in the U.S., left behind villages and generations of extended family. Starting a new life and beginning a family in the U.S. has often occurred in isolation and without family support.  The isolation immigrant parents often feel in the U.S. has manifested into a desperate need to hold onto their nuclear family. Immigrant parents left behind their siblings and parents and now hold strong to the only “family” they have in the U.S. – their own children.  Children may be seen as not only preserving a cultural lineage but as an emotional bond that is lacking in the parents’ lives.  Therefore, the strong emotional attachment a parent feels to their child may be difficult to let go of once their child gets married.

Feelings of insecurity and fear are what are causing many parents to meddle in their children’s marriages.  Many parents have a fear of losing their child when they get married and that they may no longer be important in the child’s life.  Their behaviors are not necessarily coming with malicious intent; rather the parent’s unconscious feelings of insecurity drives them to interfere as they try to cope with “losing” their child to a spouse.  In addition, parents of children who are overly dependent on them for emotional or financial support may have a harder time allowing their child to become independent decision makers once they get married.  There are some subtle signs in the early stages of the marriage where the parents may position themselves to hold onto the relationship with their child.  Parents may “test” their child’s loyalty to the family by making demands, threats and even withholding support of the new couple. Parents may also be critical of the spouse to see how their child will react in order to determine where loyalties lie. Parents may be insensitive to the couple’s need for physical and emotional privacy.  They may give unsolicited advice and give their approval or disapproval of all decisions the couple makes. All of these behaviors may be seen by the parents as showing their care and concern, however the new couple may see it as interference and may not know its causes or how to deal appropriately with their parents.

Couples who are on the path toward marriage must have conversations early on with their parents about the changing family dynamics that will soon be taking place once the couple is married.  Open communication with parents and in-laws is vital so that parents can express their concerns and feelings about the marriage as well as feel honored and respected in the family.  This is also an opportunity for the couple to reassure their parents that they will continue to respect them and that a space will always exists in their life for them.  The change in the relationship between the parent and child needs to be discussed, accepted, and ultimately welcomed as the next stage in life. The new level of interaction between a married couple and their respective parents will require a mature approach.

The Qur’an mandates that children always show kindness and respect to their parents, yet it does not mandate obedience. This is important to distinguish because many couples have a difficult time drawing boundaries with parents out of a fear of “disobeying” them.  Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (Glorified and Exalted is He) says, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Qur’an, 17:23) Couples should always listen respectfully to their parents’ views and advice, but ultimately the couple must make decisions that are best for them as a unit and not out of a sense of guilt.

Many cultures have maintained control over their family through emotional manipulation and guilt veiled by the banner of Islamic duty.  Obeying one’s parents has become the catch phrase remedy for all difficulties rather than critically thinking about what Allah (swt) is mandating.  This verse from the Qur’an is used repeatedly to teach small children how they must always listen and obey their parents and to never talk-back. Yet if we carefully look at the verse, one notes the phrase “when parents reach old age” indicating that the “child” is actually an adult interacting with an elderly parent.  It is in these times, as adults, that we must especially show kindness and respect to our parents when they are in old age and may be experiencing loneliness. Similarly, famous hadith (sayings of the Prophet ﷺ) are often invoked such as, “Jannah (Paradise lies at the feet of your mother,” as well as the reminder from the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) of who to honor most: “your mother” three times, then your father.  Muslims are repeatedly mandated to be respectful and to show kindness to parents, especially their mother.  Yet, no where do the Qur’anic verses and hadith suggest that parents have control over their child’s life, nor that children must obey their parents’ desires.  Numerous times in the Qur’an we are reminded: “and no bearer of burdens shall be made to bear another’s burden…” (Qur;an, 6: 164, 17:15, 35:18, 39:7 and 53:38).  As adults, Muslims are responsible for their own choices in life and even though they may take advice and guidance from their parents, ultimately accountability falls on the individual for the choices made in life.

This understanding is critical when young couples get married and when spouses choose to “obey” their parents’ wishes or demands out of guilt or Islamic deference rather than choose to do what is best for the couple and their future.  These early choices and patterns of behavior can have long lasting impacts on the marriage. As a therapist, I have encountered numerous cases of couples with marital problems because of allegiance to a parent trumping regard for their own spouse.  The resulting resentment and hostility created in the family is often not resolved and continues to fracture family relationships.  Newly married couples have a fragile new relationship to foster and new skills to develop as a married couple.  When the pressure from in-laws and parents is excessive, a new marriage will crumble under the stress and interference.  This can be prevented only if couples take the time to establish boundaries with their parents and effectively make the shift from a dependent parent-child relationship to an interdependent marital relationship, while at the same time showing kindness and respect to their own parents.  The massive amount of change that takes place interpersonally can be overwhelming and many couples are not prepared for the new challenges.

There will always be meddling parents and couples will not be able to change that reality.  However, by understanding the insecurities often at the core of their meddling and by creating boundaries early in the marriage, a couple can minimize the potential for conflict that arises from in-laws who interfere.  When couples establish boundaries on how they will interact with in-laws, they will develop healthier relationships with their spouse as well as with their parents.  The boundaries a couple can establish will be discussed in part two of this article.

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31 Comments

  1. usman says:

    Salaam, thanks for the very insightful article. If I may ask a question, in your experience as a professional do you think it is wise to live with your parents after marriage? (This being from the mans perspective)

  2. abu Abdullah says:

    Yet, no where do the Qur’anic verses and hadith suggest that parents have control over their child’s life???

    what about the hadith when prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam tells a man, whose father steals from his wealth that your father owns you and everything that you own. wallahu ‘alam.

    Yes, I am one of the victims of in law interference and lost my wife. But I need to look objectively and see its also my ungratefulness to blame. Allahummahfazuha, wa maghfiruha. inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.

  3. mhmd says:

    salaam

    Really good article mA! I think the author made seem important points and it was always refreshing to see brothers and sisters take a new look at what may seem as old problems, taking care to apply the fundamentals without getting caught up in details.

    However, I would say that there are a few key problems that need to be taken into consideration. For example:

    - Too many brothers and sisters rush into getting married to each other. That doesn’t mean that they need to wait five years before they do get married, but it does mean that maybe they need to carry out a lot more research as to who exactly they’re marrying ,their family background, what kind of demands/expectation their potential in-laws would have of them and to what extent will they be involved in their lives etc. This I think will avoid a lot of the problems that occur when a sister enter a family that is essentially in a different book to her, let alone being on the same page. While we can never plan 100% for the future, I think many brothers and sisters make the fatal mistake of believing they know what’s best for them and they already know all that they need to know, without really consulting anyone else, asking for their help in this matter or taking their opinions on board.

    ws

  4. MuslimGirl says:

    This article has a good message to it.

  5. fros says:

    Assalamualaikum,

    “Yet, no where do the Qur’anic verses and hadith suggest that parents have control over their child’s life, nor that children must obey their parents’ desires. ”

    Although i know what you mean in regards to marriage and knowing the rights of the spouses and parents i do wonder what you mean. I am a layman but have always been taught that you have to obey your parents unless it infringes upon someone else’s rights and/or is haraam. Asking for myself, my parents are trying to force me to be a doctor so they cant do that? Using google i found this and was curious.

    Abdullah ibn Umar narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) told a person that one who awoke in the morning as obedient to his parents, according to the commandments of Almighty Allah, was like one who found two doors opened for him in Heaven. And he will find one door opened if any one of his parents was alive. But one who broke the day as disobedient to his parents defying the orders of Allah the Almighty, was like one who found the two doors opened for him in Hell. And he will find one door opened if any one of his parents was alive. The man asked the Prophet (PBUH), if one should be obedient to his parents even if they were insensible to him? The Prophet (PBUH), replied, “Yes , even if they are insensible ; yes, even if they are insensible; yes, even if they are insensible.”

  6. Uncle Tom says:

    I think this whole “joint-family” system leads to too many problems whether in the East or West.

    It’s better in my perspective for a couple to live on their own once they are married (close enough to family though). That way they can have their personal space and freedom.

  7. shakib says:

    Salam,
    there is a slight blind spot in the article when it problematizes the immigrant parents as a monolithic group who are primarily collectivist/communitarian in culture (i think village was used as a context). although that could have been true within a certain ethnic group but in general the immigration paradigm has shifted considerably in US/canada with more families relocating directly from urbane and nuclear family backgrounds from their country of origin. although i agree that the number of joint-families may increase as immigrant parents start to retire with fewer avenues to support themselves but their reality would not have changed much had they decided not to immigrate. the reality of retirement in big metropoles (from kualalampur to cairo) that supply the bulk of our immigration today is that of old age pension, or if one is lucky then a house with servants. the joint-families have been effectively broken by the rampage of modernity even in the farthest corners of the orient (for lack of a better word). the differences that arise between these two sets of parents are more or less culturally conditioned and less to do with their status as immigrants. young families anywhere who choose to live with their parents go through this route of love-hate relationship, often ending up their marital contract. ofcourse the west with its acute sense of alientation and high-expectations bring a higher toll on the parental bondage. its true that the parents who choose to stay closer to their chidren “back home” still lack a considerable social life other than giving free advices to where they are not called for. anyone remembers raymond’s mother? my assumption is that parental interference among the immigrants are bound to reduce as life styles are changing on both sides of the spectrum faster than we think, yet not fast enough to reach outside the mosque community and find the local birder’s or cyclist club. until then my son would better find a deaf wife!

  8. A Brother says:

    There are certain things which we are allowed to disobey our parents on. For example, if it’s time for salah and your parents are you telling you not to pray, you have the right to disobey them.

    However, I think one of the things we must realize is that respecting our parents entails obedience. If you truly respect your parents, you will do what they say it of respect. But the beauty about this is that you can respect somebody but not listen to them, in the sense that if they want you to marry a certain someone and you don’t like that certain someone, you can kindly say I don’t want to.

    • N. Ali says:

      Great comment brother. I agree that the issue of respecting versus obeying our parents is not as black and white as the article makes it out. It’s a balancing act between the two.

  9. Sister says:

    Salam aleikum,

    This was a great article. In-law interference is a universal problem. My husband and I are both converts, his parents are American, my mom is English. We have had a tremendously difficult time with interference from our parents. We should have established boundaries at the beginning of our marriage, instead we learned from our experience and are much happier now, alhamdulilah.

  10. Fuseina says:

    Salaam alaikum,

    I really liked this article. I have to say though, that this isn’t only a problem for immigrants or first gen Americans. Anyone who’s watched “Everybody Loves Raymond” knows that parents can be meddling regardless of culture or religion, and in some cases regardless of whether they live with a couple or not (although I assume living in the same home makes it worse).

    Just a thought. The advice, I believe applies in any situation.

  11. Zee says:

    I love this article. Everything was well said. I think this issue is a common problem among newly wedded couples and Insha Allah this article benefits alot of young couples.

  12. Umm_Kariem says:

    As’salamu’alaikum
    Jazakallahu kheir, I enjoyed reading the article tremendously and helped me to prepare a discussion with my husband inshaAllah.
    I’m a revert and have been married for 22 years, alhamdulillah. I have a very controling mother in law and while freshly married was much easier to deal with this. Now after having had 4 children I’m worried about financial security for me and my kids if something should happen to my husband. After all this years of marriage we have not established a home for ourselves in my husbands home country as we are obligated to live with his mother, money is not the problem.
    This article gave me peace, now realizing that actually I’m not going overboard in my complains, as my husband calls it when I want to set things straight. Jazakallahu kheir.

  13. Sister in need of dua says:

    AA

    I’m a sister who has been divorced because my husband listened to his mum. I thought I got on very well with my mother in law and even naively gave up a flat to live with her. I didn’t realise she was judging me all that time.

    I married my husband after knowing him 3 months because he insisted. Within a year he divorced me. We argued but I felt I was being judged by his family and he never respected me. He always mocked me eg. said I was fat, a coward, I was bad at my job, etc I realised he didn’t really care for me when I was ill (abroad) and instead of supporting me he went to see his friends in a hotel nearby.

    Anyway I said we should move out but his mum poisoned him against this. We were even about to go flat hunting. I even said I would pay half the rent. We both had very good jobs Alhumdulillah. A few weeks later he divorced me saying we are not compatible. He was verbally abusive in those weeks by trying to make me give up my maher.

    So I am left, hurt, broken and in despair. Im so unhappy but no one knows because I put on a brave face. He is off on holiday and enjoying himself. I’m left here with no joy in my life. I don’t enjoy anything in my life and I can’t wait till I die. I’m hoping that all the pain I’m suffering will cleanse me of my sins.

    In laws can be awful especially if you are as naive as me. My mother in law said she would treat me like a daughter and I believed her but it was all a lie. I’ve learnt people are liars and unforgiving.

    I know I wasn’t perfect but I barely had a marriage!!! I really hate life and people.

    • same situation says:

      I hope that in time you will feel better. I am in a similar situation to you but feel better when I remember what other blessings I have.

    • amna says:

      oh am in a same situation but i ditn get divorced yet,i dont understand why in asian family we have to live with in laws what kind of law is that no wonder we gets divorced after 2 or 5 months of our wedding i swear i hate my i laws there just awfull why dont they understand we married our husband not with all our inlaws,i told my husband to move out he said he is gona talk to his dad i nust hope we move out i have 2 kids and we 4 people live in a room how disgusting is that………..

  14. RK10 says:

    Hello,

    I find this to be great advice. I am of a different faith yet I found this is more of a Universal problem, rather than just Islamic families. I am pleased to find this and I’m pleased to learn more of the Islamic faith. Thank you, very good article! It helps my husband and I tremendously.

    RK

  15. Meg says:

    I absolutely agree that couples should never start off their relationship living in the same home as the in-laws. This seems to be a distinctly South Asian problem, as I know few to no other Muslims of other cultures who have this issue because from the start they have their own space.

    Once a wife is living with her in-laws, she will hardly ever be allowed to say much in the relationship, and will always be overpowered by the mother-in-law in particular. This becomes a huge problem once kids come along, since the in-laws’ parenting techniques, however wrong or inappropriate, will hold sway.

    Most husbands living with their parents are cowards and will tolerate their wives being put down and humiliated by their parents, even though this is abusive and clearly contradictory to Islam.

    Solutions include:

    1. A sister putting in her marriage contract that she will not live with her in-laws. Period. She can and should agree to live close by, but living under the same roof is not Islamically required and it has and usually does lead to intrusion and abuse (particularly verbal and emotional), primarily of the wife, but also of her children.

    2. The Wali of a sister asking an interested brother point blank where the couple will live after marriage and not allowing the marriage to proceed until he has secured an apartment or home. Otherwise, the brother can take his proposal elsewhere.

    3. Older parents should never be left to fend for themselves, but the South Asian-style of everyone living together is just plain abusive. And it’s not just a pain for the wife. Many in-laws, long used to doing things their way or leading a quiet life with grown up children have little tolerance for small children and the noise and mess they bring, even when those children are their own grandchildren. I have seen this first-hand.

    It is better for older parents to have their own clean, quiet home with frequent visits from grandchildren, who live close by, but who they don’t have to hear screaming, squealing, crying, etc. at night.

    4. Older Muslims need to learn to let go. While respecting parents is very important, so is not hanging on to the Dunya, which includes your family. As they age and move closer to death, older Muslims should be expected to take responsibility for their own behavior even as their children are expected to respect them and not say “Uff”. Older Muslims should remember that while they have rights as parents, they also have to treat others, children and grandchildren, with respect as well. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was not rude, callous, abusive or arrogant toward those younger than him. Our older parents need to be gently reminded of this, preferably by an Imam they respect.

    There are enough stresses on the Muslim family today. Living together is an added stress that Muslim families should avoid from the start and establish boundaries respectfully.

    • Nusrat says:

      I love the solutions you present sister Meg; thanks for your comment. Although born and raised in the U.S., I recently got married to a wonderful man who lives in Pakistan with his mother. Before marriage, I didn’t think deeply enough about our living situation after marriage, and everyone (including me) simply assumed that I will live with my husband in his house (i.e. his mother’s house). I agree with you that this probably mostly a sub-continental thing, and I was very naive before marriage about this would work out in the future. Now after 8 months of marriage, alhamdulillah I am very happy with my husband, but am definitely feeling the strains of living in my in-laws house. I hope to discuss this with my husband soon inshallah. I’m not sure what will come of this discussion; at the very least I hope that he can understand things from my point of view. A request to all readers that Allah makes my transition into this new phase of life easy for me inshallah. Thank you.

      • Nusrat says:

        Also, just to clarify my post above, this living situation in Pakistan s temporary (about 3-4 years) until we come back to the U.S. to live. From reading my comment it sounds like it’s forever, it’s not, but it’s still a big adjustment that I’m struggling with. Hence the request for duas.

  16. anza says:

    Most husbands living with their parents are cowards and will tolerate their wives being put down and humiliated by their parents, even though this is abusive and clearly contradictory to Islam.

    I agree. I was humiliated by my mother in law yesterday. She was so supportive of her son (my husband)and asked me to check on myself if i am a good wife. She even said i should look at how other women in their family treat their husband.

    My husband verbally and emotionally abused me and yet nobody knows. His mother said he did the right thing.He said i should be ashamed of myself and t hat i am lazy idont do sunnah prayers like he and his family does.

    • Nadia says:

      Dear Anza, It is NOT okay for your husband to verbally and emotionally abuse you. Your problem isn’t only with your in-laws, it’s with your husband. I would encourage you to try to express your feelings to your husband. Has he always been abusive? Have you told your mother-in-law that it hurts your feelings to be put down? Communication is key in improving relationships all around. Check out http://www.southasianinlaws.com that offers more guidance and a forum to discuss in-law relations.

    • amna says:

      this i what i called my husband you are such a coward and he really is the nobhead…….anyways he will find out he should have moved out.

  17. Not a Muslim, but in similar situation says:

    Sister in need of dua, I am quite in a similar situation.
    I can never forget how my sis in law spoke to me before the meeting of both sides. She shouted at me (on the phone) whilst I was at office. I merely kept quiet. I was so naive then … I made a big mistake of not discussing this incident with my parents. If I had highlighted this to them, they would have advised me to stop the wedding plans. Few people have told me that the marriage will not work. I really regret … I should have not rushed in. Do not allow age to cause anyone to rush into a marriage. Education level play a big role as well.
    Think hard, pray hard and discern if it is according to God’s plan.

  18. Not a Muslim, but in similar situation says:

    In addition to the above, it will be an eye-opener for everyone if research, studies and interviews are conducted … in Malaysia and Singapore. This will be truly a wakeup call for those who have siblings in law. It’s one way for us to express ourselves (if given a chance to be interviewed). Look at the divorce rates in both countries. It’s bad enough.

  19. Nus says:

    It is amazing what a universal problem this is! I firmly believe that my marriage has suffered enormously due to in-law interference.

    The typical South Asian Muslim man, firmly adheres to respecting and obeying his parents, right or wrong. What Mother in law and Father in law says is law.

    From Day 1, they whispered about me behind my back. From Day 1 they judged me and my whole family. Once I moved in with them, they insinuated how incapable I was, how lazy I was, how deficient I was.

    Finally, after 3 months of moving in with my in-laws, I decided to set the record straight and discuss what they despised about me so much. I would much rather they told me nicely how to improve myself (since I was never good enough for them, because they are sooo accomplished and perfect), than talk about me behind my back (all the time) and hurt me indirectly or directly in this way. However, how dare I even approach them to discuss these matters and defend my honour and self. Clearly, I transgressed all bounds. I was the daughter in law who actually “spoke back to her inlaws (spoke/talked back= anything that does not agree to whatever the in-laws are saying). So man of the issues they had against me were misconceptions. The list of things they found wrong with me and my family are appalling.

    For some reason, it is an accepted norm of South Asian culture for the “elders” (in-laws) to dictate how everyone else should live, behave, act, work, etc… It is acceptable for in-laws to “speculate” (backbite incessantly) about how this person is so lazy, that person is not educated enough, that person is too fat, etc… It is also accepted norm to boast about oneself as much as possible, it is not showing-off, it is “telling others how they should live and be (like myself)”.

    I can write a book on South Asian in-laws…

    My husband sees his parents as angelic people incapable of hurting anyone. I now wish that I had not rushed into marriage and that too at such a young age. I was so naive. Whilst I have grown more mature and stronger from my experiences in life, I have experienced a great deal of pain. Sometimes I wonder how I will overcome all this hardship. I deeply love my husband, but as we are living in 2 different countries right now, Allah Knows best how long our “marriage” will last.

    In conclusion, a painful marriage may be a test from Allah. It may be a punishment of your previous sins, indeed we have amassed mountainous amounts of sins. Whilst marriage brings about a lot of pain, it does also bring joy. I make dua that Allah helps us all inshallah, emerge from such hardship as better Muslims.

    After all, this dunya was only created for the worship of Allah. And it is to Allah that we will return. Remember the hardship of Assiya in her marriage to Pharaoh? Our marriages have caused us an iota of pain compared to her pain!

    • Nida says:

      I admire your courage and ability to see through all the fog to what Allah has planned for us, which is always good. Your comment helped me to see past some negatives in my own life, thank you!

  20. Mariam says:

    I have been in this situation where my husbands father came to the use to visit then dicided to stay that was ok. But this was five years ago he know has a job and is in no hurry to move out me and my husband have talked about it and I do get it he can not ask him to live but my thing is this why should we have to ask he needs to know that he needs to. A got a store from a lady tha hard spoken to him one time about it and he said that he is in no hurry till he is asked. To me that is selfish he wants a reason to go tell pole tha his daughter in-law chest him out he has already talked about my food, mothering, cleaning, and my thing is if you don’t like it MOVE out please. Help me if their is an article I can sneak under his bed or a book help help five years a long time

  21. Wany says:

    Inlaws problem is universal. Africa is bad, nigeria is worst when it comes to inlaw interference. I’ve read d article,read comments too, am not a muslim, but i av seen that it is a global issue. The insult u get, the abuses, the mockrey laughters thrown at u, worse if u dont av a child for their son yet, its terrible. U define boundaries they break it, my bible says what can d rigtheous do if d foundation is destroyed? My home is packed full of my inlaws: father, mother, sister n brothers, i am just alone in d mist of 7. I spoke wit my husband about their stay, he abused me in front of them,threathned i wil leave my home and his people will stay. It is painful very painful. I av looked unto God as my help, n if only i have a child, i would’nt mind their arrogance, for my child would b my comfort.

  22. Frustrated says:

    Salam sisters,

    I have been facing this issue since past 1 year. I live with my husband and his parents. I work full-time, study part-time, come home and cook (partly).
    I was ‘supposed’ to work to fund my own studies, even though all these things were talked about before our wedding. My in-laws have no sense of commitment or ‘words’. My mother-in-law doesn’t go to the masjid even though we are just a mile away from one and my father-in-law drives. She made puri and kheer a day before Eid till 12-1 at night and doesn’t go to Eid prayer in morning. They say Eid is not Eid without this food stuff. Sometimes I feel they live to eat.

    I had to hear “If her parents knew she is so sick, they shouldn’t have sent her”, just because I am unable to do too much after sehri preparation, full day of work and suffering from some undiagnosed condition since past 6-7 months. Still I do my best. I talk to them, smile, eat together, cook together, follow their whims. Still it seems I have got no value.

    My uncle who is a doctor got all tests done. Turns out I have severe joint pain, dizziness, low pressure, high pulse, chest pain, etc because of stress (after they moved in with us).

    My sister-in-law comes to visit us. She calls me a b**ch last Friday (a day after Eid) and on the other hand, my father-in-law had once said I don’t have any values. (What hypocrisy?!)
    My mother-in-law complains that I have American thinking just because I prefer having my own bank account and want a separate place to live. (Both demands are not unislamic)

    What hurts most is when my own husband who says he loves me so much, doesn’t stand up for me after all this. He listens but doesn’t understand my condition, which is getting worse.
    Currently, I am at my uncle’s place who is my guardian in this country.

    Whatever I do from this point of time is only for Allah’s approval of me.
    Please pray for me, that I get strength and patience to go back and deal with such people.

    -Sister

  23. tauriel says:

    i asked for what is in-law interference

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