Tawakkul: Reliance upon Allah


How to Achieve Tranquility in the Heart Series: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IVPart VPart VIPart VIIPart VIIIPart IXPart XPart XI Part XIIPart XIIIPart XIV | Part XV | Part XVIPart XVII Part XVIII Part XIXPart XX

Developing Our Relationship with Allah

“[He is] the Lord of the East and the West; there is no deity except Him, so take Him as Disposer of [your] affairs.” (Qur’an, 73:9)

Have you ever had that feeling of anxiety in your heart? What if it doesn’t work out? What if you never get over it? The truth is, we have all felt this way at some point in our lives. Sometimes, the uncertainty is just too much to bear, or the hardship of a moment prevents us from seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. At times we desperately want some kind of medicine, a pill perhaps, to miraculously take these worries away.

But we do have that. This pill is called tawakkul. Like any pill, it’s sometimes hard to swallow. There are moments when we wonder whether this medicine even works, or if it is just some tool to make us simply believe we can be better. But Allah, the One – the only One – in control of this universe has said:

“…And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him.” (Qur’an, 65:3)

So what does it mean to rely on Allah; to have tawakkul in Him?

It means to be firm in your heart. Ibn Ata’illah stated:

“Relieve yourself of worry after you have planned; do not concern yourself with what Allah has undertaken on your behalf.”

With tawakkul, our external burden or outward struggle is to plan, to use our means, and to work hard, but in our heart there is no longer the worry of this burden. If you are sick, you seek out the best option: a professional doctor. If you are applying to university, you take your time in preparing your application to meet the criteria. But also know that after you have done your daily work and faced struggles, you should feel a resounding rest in your heart. Why?

Allah is Al-Wakeel; this means that it is He who controls His worshipers’ affairs and takes care of them. He never abandons them nor leaves them to another source. He has given Himself this Name and made it known to us, so that we know this is an essential attribute of His; thus, we will never be let down insha’Allah. Even if things do not go according to plan, we know that Allah will give us something that is better. We could not have entrusted our affairs to anyone better than Him. This is why, whenever the idea of relying on Allah is mentioned in the Qur’an, Allah reminds us of His power:

“[He is] the Lord of the East and the West; there is no deity except Him, so take Him as Disposer of [your] affairs.” (Qur’an, 73:9)

And Allah says,

“…Rely upon the Ever-Living who does not die…” (Qur’an, 25:58)

Allah is telling us in Surat Al-Muzzammil that He is the Lord of the East and the West, so will our needs ever go outside of the East and the West? He tells us in Surat Al-Fuqan to put our complete trust in Him, Who never dies, so how can we put our trust in people who do?

But if the condition of tawakkul is that we use our provisions and resources, what if we lack the means?

Imam Ahmad said the happiest day of his life was when he woke up one morning only to find no food in his home, because he knew that on this day he had to rely completely on Allah. Imam Ahmad was very, very poor since he didn’t have the means as we do to just go to the market and buy what his heart desired.

Tawakkul also requires training. We are human, and every now and then, we will feel this uncertainty, a loneliness, this knot in the stomach that maybe our situation won’t work out. And it’s ok to feel like this because it is about reminding ourselves to trust Allah at that precise moment. If we truly rely on Allah, in the way we rely on our doctor when we know we have the best one around, this trust can only give us the peace of mind and tranquility of heart knowing that Allah is always doing the best for us. This tranquility is developed when we face situations of discomfort and uncertainty. When we truly have tawakkul, we will never seek haram means to escape our situation, because we believe it is only Allah who determines the result.

Whenever we feel uncertain, let’s take a dose of tawakkul. Do what you can, but have trust in the guarantee that Allah will give you the result you need.

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88 Comments

  1. Fatima says:

    Jazak Allah Khair. I am having a problem, but it is a lack of social support. Insha’Allah Tawakkul will help me to see that this is actually what Allah wanted for me, and even though it may be unbearable at times, it is what will lead to me a better future. Am I right in relying on Allah even though emotionally I feel without the support of others? I am not sure if Allah wants me to feel pain.. is this a way for me to come closer to him?

    • Jinan says:

      Salaam

      I pray you are well. Please forgive me as I am not qualified to give an answer and also I don’t know specific details of your situation.

      But just as a broad follow-up to tawakul, if we are facing external difficulties, we should be seeking help through all the means we have. Tawakul is the feeling in the heart of trusting in Allah, knowing His attributes of justice and mercy and wisdom, and that as long as you strive in ways allowed by islam, Allah will never leave you. If the benefits are not seen in this dunya, they will surely see it in the akhira.

      Sometimes we feel abandoned by people so that we rely on Allah more fully. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek a support network, because Allah loves the jama’a (congregation). That said, any pain that we feel is a means to get closer to Allah, to ask Him to alleviate our suffering.

      If a person is going through a serious problem, we should first turn to Allah, but also seek the physical means that are also provided by Allah.

      I’m not sure if that helped, so please forgive me. The purpose of this section is knowing things about Allah, so that when we face sadness or difficulty we understand that there are reasons, and that we know certain attributes of our Lord so that we can take comfort in it.

      • Jynnah says:

        Your response is so appropriate. I have been without gainful employment for 2 years now. I hold a Master’s Degree, and yet sufficient work is difficult to obtain. But I continue to press onward and lean on Allah. This passed Ramadan has taught me to lean more and exclusively on Allah (SWT). Friends are a blessing when they are true, but Allah (SWT) All Perfect in our lives. InshaAllah, I have a final interview with the Director of an organization that is in need of one with my experience and area of expertise. I am not anxious or nervous because I have learned what “tawakkul” means.

        I know Allah knows of my responsibilties, and my heart. So, I don’t worry. I continue to seek Allah for all that I am, all that I ever was and all that I will ever become only via HIS leave.

    • Shawna/Heba says:

      Asalamo alaikum sister, have faith that this is just a test by Allah. I know this because I go thru the same test. I reverted to Islam two years ago and only recently let my family know that I had become Muslim. Before I would not wear hijab except in private and I made excuses not to celebrate the christian holidays. But then one day I knew that I had to be honest with all and not hide anymore my faith in Allah. I informed my family and I started wearing hijab always when I left my home. My ENTIRE family including my MOTHER has deserted me. My only brother calls me a Muslim terrorist, my oldest sister has called me a sand monkey lover, and my other sister believes that I worship shaitan because all my prayers are in a langauge she doesn’t understand. :( I had to divorce my husband because he would not accept Islam and even my own daughter imitated her father by calling my hijab and long clothes a clown suit. Each time you feel this pain from others then you must give your tears to Allah. He is the only one who can dry your tears, He is the only one you can rely on for relief. With each tear you shed you make one more step closer to Allah.

      “There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His: the just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allaah and meet and part on that basis; a man who is called by a woman of rank and beauty and says ‘I fear Allaah’; a man who gives in charity and conceals it to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allaah when he is alone, and his eyes fill up.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 620; Muslim, no. 1712; and others).

      • Bint Hassan says:

        Salam sister,
        I was truly touched by your story. I pray that Almighty Allah touches the hearts of your family members and makes them accept you for who you are Insha Allah.

      • Raghib says:

        As Salaamu Alaikum Sister Shawna, I have read your story and was deeply touch by it, May Allah (SWT) reward you tremendously in this life as well as the next,therefore I sincerely pray that Our Lord will bless you with a new husband that believes in Islam like yourself and Insha’Allah that He will bless your daughter to come around, also I just want to say that you are not alone as brothers and sisters of Islam, we are protectors of one another, and as your brother in Islam I love you for the sake of Allah(SWT).

    • Jynnah says:

      Salaams, I understand your plight, I REALLY DO. I came to Islam while in college, and I had a great bunch of supporters. But, like all things college ended, and I was had to go out into the real world. My Muslim network of great friends, all scattered to the winds, and we keep in touch via computer, but nothing beats one on one time in the presence of one another. For this reason I try earnestly to never miss Jummah.

      I believe, some of us have to learn to lean on Allah (SWT) exclusively, and learn to be a support unto yourself. It is easy when you have others around that live and believe as you do as a Muslim, but the real test/challenge is to continue and stay motivated when you don’t have the outward support of others. My recommendation? Read as much as you can about what one does to stay connected to Allah and this Deen. I have cried for Muslim friends and close companions, Allah will send ‘em to you. I can promise you that, inshaAllah.

      I heard an Imam in a Khutbah say, “if you are being challenged in your life, know that Allah knows your plight, and HE is aware of your difficulties. If you keep your mind on the rememberance of Allah, HE will keep HIS rememberance of YOU.” Know that we will be faced with challenges, not as a punishment, but as a purification of our faith. Stay Strong, the ease is on its way, Allah says so in HIS book, and Allah incapable of lying.

      Salaams!

  2. Hassen says:

    Great reminder. May Allah reward you for writing this. Just wanted to point out that a different ayah was pasted for the second mention of the ayah in surat al-Muzzammil.

  3. Anon. says:

    I don’t think Imam Ahmad was poor- unlike most of us, he didn’t have to work for a living, owing to income derived from rents. Allahu a’lam.

  4. Safeera says:

    I had surgery done today and was not sure. Thanks for this enlightening article.
    JazakAllah

  5. Rassoull Salaam says:

    Al-Humdullah…beautiful article. I thank Allah for your insight!

  6. syahida says:

    JazakAllah for this article..I’m having my final exm soon..
    feeling nervous but InsyaAllah, I’ll try my best..and have tawakkul in Allah..

  7. Mariam says:

    May Allah Bless you for posting this. Allhumdulliah it has truly and sincerely benifited me.

  8. mike says:

    fatima,

    I feel for you. Lack of social support and family support
    is something muslims are facing daily due various factors in this modern world. May Allah help us all.

  9. Abeer says:

    Alhamdulillah,once again a good aricle.May Allah SWT bless u.Ameen

  10. Precious says:

    Does profound disappointment really give us tranquility of the heart? I ask myself this question every day. Allah SWT has created us with a complex emotional make up. When we go through existential disappointments, is it realistic to put our sadness aside? I think that is akin to being a martyr, and I don’t know if true reliance on Allah SWT means that we must be a martyr. What I am trying to say, is that life can be very, very harsh sometimes. I often feel that I am alone in a silo, watching everyone else love and be loved by their families. I cannot think of a single reason why being childless, husbandless, and family-less is in my best interests; how is that possible? It can only be a punishment, how can it be for the best in this life? Because we do have to live this life before we go on to the next – I don’t think Allah SWT intended that this life was to be devoid of meaning or substance. To the contrary — we are complex beings that require love and faith to thrive. Women are built to bear children. Our hearts have been constructed to give and receive love – to our children, our husbands, our grandchildren.

    When I read articles such as these, they seem to depict a “happily ever after” scenario. But I don’t think that sadness and disappointment is necessarily indicative that we do not rely on Allah or accept his will. To the contary, it is possible that Allah SWT wants us to feel sad, lonely and disappointed, particularly if the troubles He has burdened us with are intended to be a disappointment.

    I just find it exhausting to sit back and accept with tranquility, peace and joy that Allah SWT has not given me a husband or children, nor have I been even given the opportunity for this as no one in my family has ever tried to help me. I am now almost past my childbearing years…every door I have tried to open is repeatedly closed in my face. I have tried to convince myself that that there are always options, but whenever I pursue those options myself, I am sorely disappointed.

    “But also know that after you have done your daily work and faced struggles, you should feel a resounding rest in your heart.”

    How is that possible? To feel peace in my heart that I never had the opportunity to marry, to have children of my own? To know that I will be lonely for many years to come? To know and accept that my parents did not wish this for me, that my siblings did not try to help me? How can I possibly find peace over that prospect?

    • Seema says:

      Salam, Precious
      I am in the same boat, and even though I have come very close to Allah compared to when I was in my teens and 20’s I know Allah HAS a reason for me being unmarried, childless (I love children and had even thought of names for them) and my family is far from where I live for my job and my siblings are mean to me, BUT, I am alhumdolillah SO much better than SO many women my age: I am educated, earn enough halal income to not spread my hand in front of anyone, have health, I am not in an unhappy marriage or have kids who are a pain to me! Sister, you don’t know what Allah is protecting you from. Keep the faith in him – that is tawakkal.

    • Jinan says:

      Salaam alaikm sister Precious

      I ask Allah to enable us to see things as they are, and embody the character of our Prophet (pbuh).

      I’m sorry if the article read as a ‘happily ever after’ scenario, as that was not my intention. It is meant to be read as part of the series where i talk about the meaning of tests and hardships and how we should attempt to have tranquility in the heart by knowing certain things about Allah.

      Sometimes we will never understand why we are tried with certain things. And that is where true trust comes in- we may be hurt by something, and cannot understand why it is happening to us, but knowing that Allah knows, and that He is with us, and that these is ease with affliction should prevent us from despair. Sister Seema gave a beautiful answer, mashAllah.

      Personally when I am faced with hardship, I try to count my blessings and look at those who are tested with far greater things to understand how relative my situation is. A friend of mine visited a hospital in Egypt that was accepting injured people from Gaza during the Israeli assault in 2009. A woman was there who had lost all of her 6 children. She had no one. But the most shocking part was the way she dealt with her tragedy. She literally said “I know they are martyrs, they are with Allah, and I will see them in jannah.”

      SubhanAllah, I can say for myself that I have no idea how i would handle such a situation. It doesn’t mean she didn’t care about losing her children (she was crying as she said the words), but her tawakul in Allah, her trust, was due to a knowledge- she knew that everything in this life has a purpose. She lost all of her 6 children, but she knew that she would see them again. She lived the hadith of the Prophet (pbuh) where he states that if one loses 2 children in this life he will be re-united with them in jannah. She understood that if anything harmed her, Allah would provide justice, whether in this life or the next.

      That is what I meant by the article. The ‘rest’ comes in knowing that Allah will provide for us ease as He states in the Qur’an- whether in this life or the next. It doesn’t mean we can’t feel upset (after all we are human), but while the eyes shed tears and the heart feels sadness, the tongue says what pleases Allah.

      This talk by sr. Yasmin Mogahed was really helpful mashAllah: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/purification-heart/hardships-and-the-path-to-god/

      I pray Allah helps you in your situation and gives you provision from where you do not expect. Ameen.

      • seema says:

        Sr. Jinan
        Even though as you said this was no a happy ever after article, I think there should be an article and change in thinking brought about in Islamic societies, given the increase in young women who are finding themselves in the same boat as me and Sr. Precious about how the married couples specially the women treat us single women. I never get invited (whereas single men are fawned over and invited everywhere!!) They think we are going to steal their husbands – I have had a woman tell me that 4 years ago. Some think Oh you have such a wonderful life doing what you want and when you want, and I told her the grass always look greener on the other side – these married women are the meanest, specially the ones that are home makers and insecure. I am not a home wrecker – IF a husband comes after an unmarried sister who is a guest at his home, then HE is at fault for doing that, not the sister, as that shows that the man is not trustworthy even outside the home.

        These married people don’t realise how lonely we are. And it is hard to bear these same women make a pitiful face at us and give us the same cliched sentences of sabr over and over and over again as if we do not know them.

    • sefoura says:

      assalam alaikum precious,

      may allah (swt) pray that your pain is relieved and that you are blessed with a wonderful husband soon – pray for this during ramadan too.

      i am also in the same situation as yourself, but just please take comfort in knowing that those who have abandoned you, will have to answer to allah (swt). it is the responsibility of the muslim ummah to help our muslim sisters get married. for example, suppose one of your married friends refused to help you find a husband, then her own child ends up never getting married in this world – do you think then she would have regretted not helping you?

      allah (swt) is just and has a plan for everyone – you just have to believe as that this will happen for you soon, insha’allah. how many people i know who are stuck in unhappy marriages with disobedient children – i thank allah (swt) i am not like them.

      ramadan mubarak!

    • Raghib says:

      As Salaam Alaikum Sister Precious, your story has deeply touch me, May Allah(Swt) bless you with a good husband and family, just rely on Allah(SWT) He will make a way for you Insha’Allah.

    • Azza says:

      Remember that the less you have in this life, the more you will have in the next inshallah:)

  11. Seema says:

    “To Allah we belong and to Him we return. Oh Allah make my affairs free from care and make them profitable for me, and provide for me sustenance from my share and from where I have no expectations”. This was the prayer/dua given by the Prophet (SAW) to one of his wives – don’t remember her name – sorry (before she married him as she had come to him asking for advice as she had been widowed and was looking for social support, and she was worried that she may not find a husband like the one she had). She recited this and kept faith in Allah and He provided her with a MUCH better support – the Prophet (SAW). So we don’t know what Allah is saving for us in return for sabr in our tests – my faith wavers too, and the Quran does state that that will happen, because Allah has made man impatient.
    Salam

    • Precious says:

      Seema: the wife’s name was Umm Salama. Thank you for the story. As a matter of fact, I read that dua every day, mmorning and night. Someone in my recent past hurt me badly, and the pain is unbearable at times even though it has been 8 months. I pray day and night that Allah SWT give me peace inside my heart, but that peace hasn’t come yet. Article like this one try to give me hope that SOME DAY, the pain will subside.

      • Seema says:

        I too have been very badly hurt and it has been 14 months, Precious, and someone told me to read Hazrat Moosa’s dua which I have been praying everyday and then I found this dua above about 3 months ago – these two have helped, but the pain is still unbearable. Wish we could have access to each other so we could share and lighten the load – Sr. Jinan / amdninstrators: can you please help me and Precious connect via email? I feel very isolated, thanks

  12. Samira says:

    Dear Precious,

    I can tell you that I understand what you are going through, because I am actually living the same thing. I was about to marry a man, but one day, he changed like the weather, and got married with another woman. I have been broken, humiliated and abandonned, like a vulgar dog… Now, every time I try to move forward, I face another failure. How being deserted by the those I love the most, betrayed, unmarried, childless and constantly disappointed be that good for me? I am patient, I do pray and make duas, I do fulfill my duties toward Allaah. But I really feel very lonely at times, and there’s a pain in my heart that’s a graving. I wish I could one day wake up with a smile and joy, and not with a compressed heart and wounded soul. May Allaah alleviates our pain. Ameen.

  13. Seema says:

    Samira
    Mine changed his mind 2 weeks before getting married and broke up by email! His mom had sent wedding clothes…I had already made all plans of my job relocation to another state and what we wanted to make changes in his home and garden etc etc….it was a lot of energy and emotion invested long distance 1/2 way across the country!

  14. Samira says:

    Seema,
    This is tragic. I am deeply sorry for you. As Prophet (pbuh) said: “If you have no shame, then do as you wish.” They will have to face God and pay for all the pain they have caused us. This offense cannot remain unpunished. Sister, please be patient and try very hard to be happy in this life. Maybe one day, you and I, and all other women that are living the same struggle, will meet someone better and worth our love. Ameen.

  15. k.ibrahim says:

    Bismillah,ir-Rahman,ir-Rahim.
    Ashahadu An Laa illaaha illal llahu
    Wa Ash Hadu Anna Muhammadan Abdu Hu Wa Rasooluhu

    ”I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah
    who is without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) is the Rasool.”
    “O Allah, Shower Your Peace come upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have brought peace to Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious. O Allah, Shower your blessing upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have blessed Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious”.
    Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam, As-Salaam Alaikum!
    My Name is Khalid U.Ibrahim. I am in need of your (Du’a) Prayers for ALLAH’s Help and Protection. (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Bestow on us (the Believing Muslims) a Home, a Home of Safety, Security and Peace in this World Life, Out of the Reach of the Dajjal and his army, and also Grant us a Home of Safety,Security and Peace in the Life Hereafter,Out of the Reach of the Fires of Hell!.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Increase our Faith and Devotion, and to Bless us with Peace in our Hearts and Souls.(Ya ALLAH!) Please Forgive All The Believing Muslims,(Ya ALLAH!) Please grant All the Believing Muslims the Best in this world Life and the Best in Hereafter, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect us(the Believing Muslims) from own Nafs, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect All the Believing Muslims from the hands of the Dajjal and his army.] {No One in this World care!} (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you for the means to do good, and to avoid evil, and Bless us to Love the poor, and I beseech you forgive us(the Believing Muslims) and have mercy on us. And When you subject the people of theWorld to trial, Protect us from being affected by it.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you, your Love and Protection,and the Love of those who Love you, and Grant us the Love of all such actions that will bring us closer to you, with our Love and Devotion to you.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I thank you for all your Mercy and Protection that you have bestowed on us, and all that you have given us in these trouble times that we are facing,(Al-Hamdolillah!).

  16. Ibn Asadullah says:

    Sisters Seema & Samira, I’m sure my problem is not as intense as yours but I too am suffering with loneliness. I like sister Samira pray my regular prayers & try to do my duties toward Allah. But you know sometimes I just can’t bear it. However, I very quickly remind myself of the mercy of Allah & feel better.

    I’m looking to get married but since I don’t have a job I can’t. I pray to Allah He takes care of my affairs soon, ameen.

    I need duas & I pray for you sisters that Allah gives you deserving spouses.

  17. usama says:

    Thank you very much for this article. This is EXACTLY i was looking for but i didn’t know what to type in Google and search! So I typed Islam and just ended up here!

    I had nothing major throughout my entire life to be very happy or pleased about. Nothing had ever been good in my life and I had this belief that nothing will ever get better. All my life I had to face family problems, financial problems, physical problems, house problems etc and they all affected me mentally. But recently I met someone and I started to feel like I am the happiest person in the world. Things were so good and I was afraid that when things go too right, that means they’re about to go very wrong – like calm before the storm.

    And within a few weeks, that is exactly what happened. Suddenly what Allah knows what happened and why they happened, a series of events occured and everything was ruined and there was no hope of ever going back to those moments.

    You cannot believe I am now in such complicated position! And no one can rescue me from this position except Allah. So many times I get so disheartened thinking how am I ever going to come out of this? How can this much change occur in such a short time? How can things that never happened throughout my entire life happen now? But I still pray, and I pray all the time that things get better, better than they ever were. But then again I keep thinking Why would Allah give me all this? What good have I ever done to have Allah give me all want?Sure Allah can give me all that I want, but Would he?

    There are certain changes that has to come in my life in order for things to get better and since last December I had been praying to Allah asking for those changes all the time, not just after Salat. It has been 5 months and I am not even anywhere near my goal. It’s not that I was a fast response like mentioned above but it seems that I don’t have enough time, but then again, Allah is the one to decide whether I have time or not. I keep faith that things WILL turn the way I want but I end up thinking if I will get what I want for sure because I don’t think I am so good that I will have my prayers answered.

    I don’t want something better, I don’t even want to know if there is something better. I want what I want, nothing else. What do I do? I keep feeling this restlessness in my heart.

    • Jinan Bastaki says:

      Salaam brother

      Have you read the other articles in the series? Please do and let me know what you think. I hope that inshAllah they can be helpful.

      Just one thing to remember, the Prophet (pbuh) told us that all of the children of Adam constantly make mistakes- so in a sense none of us ‘deserve’ good from Allah. And even the Awliya of Allah, they only reach that station by the grace of Allah. So we shouldn’t think “i am so bad Allah won’t accept me” but we should be thinking “Allah is so generous that despite my shortcomings, He will accept me inshAllah!” As long as you strive, Allah appreciates every single effort and He is so Generous and Merciful that He will give you what gives rest to your heart.

      Jinan

  18. Sr. Hope says:

    I am in love with this article
    i feel so blessed with such knowledge at hand, and i figure
    how can i ever go wrong when I have my Allah by my side

    Usama
    “I don’t want something better, I don’t even want to know if there is something better. I want what I want, nothing else. What do I do? I keep feeling this restlessness in my heart.”

    I feel you brother! I can understand your emotions but we have to keep reminding ourselves that this dunya is only temporary nothing is permanent like the hereafter!! and sometimes things happen in this dunya that we cause discomfort and sadness and thats the test; the test of our faith our iman our reaction toward our tragedy..
    sometimes Allah will take something from us and give us something better instead
    and sometimes ‘the better’ will never show up till the hereafter (and as humans we may not see the good in it but Allah surely will see the good and InshAllah reward us immensely) only Allah is wise and only He knows better

  19. Peace says:

    Sr Seema and Precious,
    I totally understand your situation as i had been through the same path before. It has been 6 months and i am still hurting. The man i loved and trusted turned out to be the biggest liar and never sincere with me. I thank Allah for showing me who he really is before we get married. Now, even though i am single and sometimes i feel lonely, i am thankful that i am not trapped in a marriage with that man. Things do happen for reason. After that incidence, i seek refuge with Allah and now i feel very peaceful and i know i will never lose anything as long as i have Allah by my side.

  20. Precious says:

    Dear Peace, Brother Usama, Seema, and others:
    I think we have to remember that this world is not Jannah. It is only in Jannah that we get everything that our hearts desire. In this life, we are given what we need, not what we want. Keep up with your prayers and dua, they will strengthen your heart and bring you close to Allah. But don’t do it with the expectation that Abracadabra you will get what you want in this life; life doesn’t work that way.
    Like all of you above, I have been a walking, breathing wound for almost one year. The person who hurt me is not a bad man, but, he did hurt me and it was partly my fault. So be it. What I have learned from this process is that you just have to keep going. Sometimes, expectations are our worst enemy. Just accept life as it comes; if you are in pain, accept it as what God has destined for you – for now. God can answer your prayers anytime – today, next year, or, like Prophet Musa, in 40 years. Remember Prophet Yaqub waited a lifetime for his son Yusuf to be returned to him! What if God does not answer your prayers in this lifetime? Will you be sad for the rest of your life? That has been my fear, as I have been praying for ove 15 years to give me what my heart desires, only to be hurt very badly. The time has come for me, for us, to pray for patience (sabr) to accept whatever has been written for me. Truly, acceptance is the key, and only with prayer will acceptance come.

  21. Aysha says:

    Asalamualaikum

    Its quite disheartining to read such comments..May Allah take all you sufferning away and alter them into joy and happiness.
    When ever we look at someone below us,although momentry,but it’s quite comforting..
    initailly,I would always cry why am I not finding a suitble match..Eventually years later I did..And now I cry why I got married.You girls are very lucky those guys left you before marriage.Trust me,it was Allah’s mercy and grace they did before..It is million times more painful if this would have happend after marriage.Despite my marriage Being on the rocks,I’m trying to convience myself that Allah is doing so for some reason.I have moments when I breakdown and feel like the world has ended n I will never be able t get up again..I remind myself that Allah has promised happiness in the hereafter.He has clearly said ths world is a stopover,the journey begins when we die..Allah didn’t send us to this world to get a good job,or a great relationship..This world is just a test.I know this is hard to believe when your pain takes over,but try to remind yourself that Allah can never be unjust,ever.

  22. Muslima says:

    Assalaamu alaykum dear sisters
    Ramadhan Mubarak to you all. This is the month of Qur’an… the month of hope. Reading through some of your posts was like listening to the echo of my own feelings at times. Owing to a combination of big family and personal problems, I too remain a single sister. I’d go through stages where I just wouldn’t let myself think about marriage at all as there seemed to be nothing but obstacles and barriers. I found it easier just to block out the issue but it would always recur in my mind and I’d feel as if it would drive me crazy.

    I have asked myself whether I’m supposed to remain in this situation and whether or not I can cope will be my test in this world until I leave it. I have asked myself whether I’m a bad person and this is my punishment but I know that all this is just waswasa/whispering from shaytan. Let’s remember that Shaytan doesn’t want us to have any hope in Allah.

    I used to get frustrated when people would just tell me to have sabr, I’d think to myself ‘you don’t have a clue how I’m feeling’. Now however I realise that I didn’t understand what sabr was. Sabr to me now isn’t about just accepting one’s painful situation; it’s about taking advantage of every single (halaal) means possible to find a solution to it. But above all also remembering a) not to lay all our hopes in our own actions but that the final result is with the power of Allah b) once you have tried your hardest know for certainty that Allah will help and don’t have any doubt about this. The manner in which he chooses to help will be his decision but have trust that it will be the best for you and you’ll be happy with it…. Not just content… but happy. Also just because something feels like it’s taking a life time to happen, it doesn’t mean it’s not on its way. Allah may have already responded to your dua but you won’t see it yet until a few months or years but if it’s coming, it’s coming. So it’s a question of ‘when’ and not ‘if’. It’s about what do you do with your free time in between.

    We should also remember our hereafter and should make dua from the heart for that as well. Ask for a husband in the jannah, ask for a house in jannah, ask for jannatul firdous. Ask like it’s real to you because one day all of this pain will come to an end. That’s not to say one should sit quietly and wait for death in order to be happy, no. Our state of mind in this world will have an impact on our actions which will have an impact on our hereafter so I believe we should strive for some kind of happiness here but not invest every single emotion in this dunya until we are rinsed of all energy for anything/one else.

    So I remind you as I remind myself as one who is still going through the motions…. Don’t lose hope sisters, ever.
    Your sister in Islam

    • Raghib says:

      Ramadan Mubarak, Sister Muslima,your advise to our fellow sisters where indeed heartfelt, May Allah(SWT) reward you tremendously for that.

      • Faiza says:

        Muslima,

        I could relate to your post because i too like yourself am a single sister who’s been trying to get married for a very long time. Thanks for your post and words of hope. May Allah accept all our duas and help us find our perfect match soon. Ameen

  23. Samira says:

    It is such a relief to share our stories sisters, it gives hope that things will get better inshaAllah u ta’ala, and it also helps to look through the hardship, to understand why Allah allowed this to happen in our life.

    Now, sisters, my advice would be to never lose hope. Maybe, as sister Muslima said, what we asked for is coming our way. Maybe, we just have to wait for a few days, weeks, months,… Just keep on being the actor of your life, don’t wait for things to come to you. Go, move, “search” for them, do what you have to do, and then, place your trust in Allah, hopefully the result will be positive. And if it is not, then, maybe, it is better like that. Allah may have saved us from a life of misery with this person, this thing we wanted so.

  24. Masduki says:

    This site is so benefits me to enrich heart, thanks so much, May Allah bless your effort and give great reward.

  25. Sumaiya.Khan says:

    i think this website is absoloutley fantastic also it give out really good valuable information.

  26. Sherifat Bamgbade says:

    This information is very helpful. My Allah be with whoever published this message

  27. Faiza says:

    Samira, Seema, Precious,

    It was heartbreaking to read your stories. I can relate to your stories because i’m going through the same thing. I’m 31 and still single. Each time a proposal comes by nothing ever works out. It’s hard to sit and watch my friends get married, have kids and live a happy life. sometimes i wonder what i will do if i never get married. It’s a scary thought.. May Allah help all of us find our perfect match and get married asap Inshallah.

    It would be nice if we could all communicate as we are going through the same thing. would definitely help. leave me your email addresses.

    JazakAllah

  28. iffi says:

    am feeling so pain in my heart.in prayers m weeping alot.bt inspite of that m feeling so lonely.i know mmy normle life because of allah but tention jst because of me.m in loved a boy after 4 year he left me bcz our families not intrstd in our relation.he is ver nice guy bt i hv a problem he is nthing say a word infront of his family.he said we wii met in aakhrit.is it true?our relation is very pure and neat.m feeling so lonely bcz of him.kindly tell abt my pro wt cn i do m gonna mad

  29. Faiza says:

    Iffi,

    I know how you feel. I’ve been going through something similar for the past three months. Losing someone is very very hard. I used to cry uncontrollably and pray to Allah to please send him back. But then i came to terms with it, because i know that only Allah knows what’s best for us.

    This guy caused you pain. He did not have the courage to tell his family about you. Perhaps he would’ve caused you more pain in the future and so Allah is saving you from that. I know it’s very hard to accept this, but trust me Allah will replace him with someone better.

    Take my advice and do what I’m doing to get over this. Pick up the Quran and just start reading. May Allah give you sabr and happiness Ameen

  30. Muslimah says:

    Assalamu’alaikum brothers & sisters,

    This article is very close to my heart. I thank Allah for finding this article and thank you for writing about it. May Allah reward you in life and hereafter Insya Allah.

    So true, tawakkul is the way to go. I am currently facing difficulties concerning my life and happiness. I am in my late 20s and not married yet. I am seeing someone and have been with him for a couple of years. He does make me happy, but he can also make me shatter like a broken glass.

    He can be caring towards my feelings, but when things go wrong, I would always be blamed and he would refuse to answer my calls and let me talk to him. There had been instances whereby I had to beg and cry just to bring him back to me. And most of all, I have to bear the guilt and be the one to say sorry just so that things will be back to normal. 

    I just don’t know if this is fair for me, and at this point, I’m uncertain if this is the person I want to and should marry. If this keeps going on while we’re still at the courting period, then what’s going to happen if we really settle down?

    Questions have been lingering in my mind and all I can do now is tawakkul, because I believe Allah has the answers to all my questions. Insya Allah I will get all those answers and I pray the same for my brothers and sisters who are going through similar situations. Ameen.

    • Jinan Bastaki says:

      W alaikm isalam w rahmat Allah,

      Sr. Muslimah, a part of tawakkul is doing our part in our effort. The Prophet (pbuh) told us of the qualities to look for in our spouse: Character and Religion. So it is really important to see if this person has the core values that a Muslim should have, and he certainly should not be emotionally abusive. I would submit your query to the webbcounsellors so see what they say.

      Jinan

  31. Jinan Bastaki says:

    SubhanAllah. Thank you all for sharing your stories. There is really no one-size-fits-all solution. It is natural to want companionship, to want to have kids and a family. And Allah sometimes us tests us with the things that we want. But because Allah is more Merciful towards us that even our own parents, if He choose to test us, He also gives us ease with our hardship, and promises that after the hardship there will be an opening. And this is especially true for those who are conscious of Allah, and stay true to His instructions as best they can.

    If we are being tested, then be sure that with your test you are being given some sort of ease to help with the burden. Allah says “with hardship comes ease”. You are not alone. He is with you. There is good in your life that you are overlooking because you are so focused on the test. If you are grateful for that good and thank Him for it, then He will give you more inshAllah.

    And Allah also promises us in Surat at-Talaq “Allah will make after hardship ease” One way or another, you will be free. But in our tests we are being taught lessons, and we need to realize this.

    And finally, “whoever has taqwa of Allah, He will make for them a way out”. Allah knows which way out is best. Sometimes it is to give you what you want or sometimes He will give you a substitute because He knows that it is best for you. We shouldn’t be so fixated on the object of our want that that prevents us from doing amazing things for the sake of Allah. We need to let go, focus on the things that we know bring us closer to Allah because He is our ultimate goal. And if one of these things is patience, then remember that the patient are given their reward in Jannah without reckoning! SubhanAllah we must never lose perspective of that.

    A beautiful article by Sr. Maryam Amir-Ebrahimi touches upon our role as Muslim women:

    http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/wifehood-and-motherhood-%E2%80%93-not-the-only-ways-to-paradise/

  32. Muslimah says:

    Salam Jinan,

    Subhanallah. Thank you so much for wanting to help me through my trying times. I greatly appreciate it.

    To add on, I have always wanted someone who can perhaps make me become a better person in life and love, but honestly, there were times when I would turn into someone I hate, especially after an argument with him. And marriage, to the best of my knowledge, is supposed to make you become a better individual. I really want to achieve that blissful marriage Insya Allah, but for now, things are still a bit of a blur for me.

    Once again, thank you so much for taking your time to respond to my query. May Allah bless you. Ameen.

  33. moyurak says:

    Hello assalam. I am having serious problem in my relationshipw ith my husband till 21days. We didnt have any quarrel with each other. We has a very nice life. but suddenly everything got changed. my husband started to say that he wants separation from me. he don want to live with me. even he is not ready to face me. me and my family are quite in this situation. We came to know that my mother in law are doing kufri for breaking our relationship. she and her daughter dont want me to live with my husband. my mother in law wants from the begining that my husband always take care of his daughter more than his wife. Please suggest me something so that i got relief from this kind of pain in my life and allah help me.

  34. Faiza says:

    Salaam brothers and sisters,
    I try to visit this page every now and then to read everyone’s stories and write something that may help you or make you feel better in any way. May Allah help all of us and ease our pain. I came across something very deep that i would like to share with all of you. I literallly broke into tears when i read this.

    Two beggars knocked on the door asking for bread. One beggar was given a loaf and sent away. The other was kept waiting and waiting. At length, the second beggar became concerned. “Why am I being denied? What is so lacking in me that the other one was favoured over me?” he asked himself. Unknown to the beggar, a fresh loaf was being baked for him inside the house.

    ”And put your trust in Allah. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs” (Qur’an 4:81)

  35. Jumoke olagoke says:

    Salam brothers and sisters,
    This publication really helped ease my problems. I was once a married woman with two kids. My husband left me when my kids were 3 years and the other 4 months old. Then I thought I would be unable to survive with the kids. Life was so hard and my husband never looked back. This is because I found out my husband was having relationships with my brother’s wife. A scandalous situation that ended up breaking my whole life apart. My brother got a divorce and decided on a new relationship.
    Since then, I have been closer to Allah. I found it extremely difficult to tell anyone my problems. I live a life of someone whose husband is dead and each time I remember this couple with the fact that I lost my job along the line, I felt so shattered but Alhamdullah, performing dua has really helped a lot.
    Now I feel within me like someone with no problems whatsoever. Sometimes I ask myself why I have this peaceful feeling despite all my encounters, but I believe that is the power of Tawakkul.
    It has been three years since this had happened. My son keeps asking me why his dad left but may Allah continues to give me courage to take control of things.

  36. Abida says:

    I am also sailing in the same like other sisters.The only difference is that I am divorced now at the age of 27.My marriage lasted for only 3 months.I was humiliated,insulated and deserted by my ex husband.I was given a one sided divorce without given any reasons.He just vanished.I would say to all the girls who are heartbroken that they shld be thankfull to Allah that they didn’t get married to wrong guys out here.All of them are really lucky.Thankfully,I am working and I am financially independent .But now am heart broken and so are my parents.My father suffered an heart attack due to all these problems.But now by the grace of Allah he is recovering.

  37. Faiza says:

    Abida-I’m sorry about what happened to you. Allah is testing all of us in different ways. But remember Allah will not test a person beyond what they cannot endure, and after every hardship there is ease. May Allah give you sabr and heal your father Ameen.

  38. Abida says:

    Thanks Faiza.I just pray to Allah to give all of us strength to overcome our problems.May our wishes come true.Ameen

  39. Muslimah says:

    Salam brothers and sisters,

    Sis Abida, I am really sorry to hear of the plight you have to endure. Be strong and always remember that Allah is with you. Just call out to Him whether aloud or by heart for He listens to you every minute of your life.

    I’m not married yet but my heart has been aching for years, as if I’m already going through a painful marriage. I’m looking forward to a happy marriage, but I don’t know why I can’t seem to feel that way with this man I’m currently with. I’ve been with him for over six years. As I said in my previous comment, he is caring and I do feel happy being with him when things are fine, but the moment things go wrong, he can make me feel worthless and that really upsets me.

    At this point, my heart is not quite at ease.  During our recent conversations, we’ve been facing communication breakdowns. Sometimes he says that he thinks about my happiness and will set me free if he needs to, but at other times, he makes me feel that leaving him will be my biggest mistake. He will talk about how evil I am to think of throwing away the years that we’ve had together. But what about the years of hurt he has been causing me? 

    I’ve actually been aching inside but he wouldn’t understand. He even would hang up on me if I were to cry about our relationship problems. So I have to keep everything to myself, and now I’m just feeling uptight and rather miserable. The only thing I can do now is to seek comfort and guidance from Allah. I need Him to show me if what I’m feeling inside is a sign from Him, and whether it is right for me to be with him or break free.

    I pray that Allah will continue to give me the strength to go through this and that He will soon show me the answers to my questions.

    And to all my Muslim brothers and sisters, always remember that Allah will not give you a test that you can’t handle so be strong in going through life.

  40. Sanya says:

    I was surfing the net and somehow landed on this page and it’s exactly what i needed. I can relate to many of you because i’m in the same boat. I remain single and am about to turn 32 in less than a month. I have been trying to get married for the last 10 years. Each time i meet someone i like, i get humiliated, insulted and dumped by the guy and his family.

    I’m past my youth and almost past all my child-bearing years, but if this is the way i’m being tested then i know i can’t do anything about it. This forum kind of eased my pain a little. To all my single sisters suffering out there, I pray to Allah that may HE shower HIS blessings on us and grant us happiness. Ameen.

  41. Abida says:

    Muslima -I m sorry to hear about it.May Allah guide you and show you the right path.Why don’t you try Istighara?That will be helpfull for you.In my opinion,If someone really loves you then he/she should accept you the way you are.Never marry a jerk who constantly criticises you and dosen’t value you.These type of guys are simply not worth the tears.It’s better to walk out rather than hang on.May allah find solution to all our problems and make our lives peaceful.

  42. Muslimah says:

    Salam Sis Abida,

    Thank you so much for your kind advice. I am making use of Istikharah to help me through this rough patch. I believe sooner or later Allah will give me the answers I need. 

    Deep in my heart, I know breaking free is not going to be an easy thing to do, but living in a marriage that is filled with sorrow won’t make life any better. One thing I am thankful for is that I’m still not married to him and that lessens the burden for me if I were to walk away. 

    To all my sisters who are still single, look at the blessing behind all this. At least you have more time to discover yourself and be free to live the life that you really want, without going against Allah of course.

    Insya Allah, as long as we continuously build a strong relationship with Allah, He will always be there for us. 

  43. Green says:

    Salaam Sisters, I am so blessed to read such courageous stories of patience from you. I too am going through a test and it’s hard to see the light, I am married but my husband had an affair with a non Muslim friend and when I confronted him, I was beaten. I’m still with him as at the moment there is no way out, I mean, seriously, who will marry a divorced person with kids? it’s hard because he’s cheating on me and it’s hard to trust and forgive him. Someone gave me good advice saying that Allah punishes the one who does wrong and you CAN see it in this world. Does anyone know of any ayah or Hadith that supports this? Sisters I pray Allah makes things good for you and grant you husbands that love you and treat you right, never to hurt you or cheat on you and that you can trust and love, as Allah says ‘ to be a garment for you ‘ until then, hold fast to the rope of Allah and never lose hope and do dua, loads of it.

  44. Abida says:

    Green – I can understand your pain sis.I got divorce because of the same reasons.He never loved me.He married me just because his parents wanted him to get married to muslim girl.I feel so bad and heartbroken.The pain is unbearable.Life has been different post my divorce.People judge me on the basis of my past broken relationship.But I know that i m not at fault any my allah knows it.But yes sometimes i do get depressed and cry a lot.Sis just pray hard and ask allah to do whatever is good for you.I will pray for you sis.May allah help us.Btw try to take help from your close relatives to solve this matter.

  45. Green says:

    Abida, jazakallah for your advice. I pray Allah blesses us with something better, we shouldn’t lose hope even though things seem bleak.
    And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). 
    And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things. (At-Talaq 65: 2-3)
     If a servant of Allah is afflicted with a misfortune and says:
              ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un, Allahumma ajirni fi
               musibati wa akhlif li khairan minha‘ 
    (Verily we belong to Allah and truly to Him shall we return. O Allah! Protect me in this calamity that has befallen me and replace it with something better), Allah will accept his prayer, grant him reward for his affliction, and replace it with something better.

  46. Precious says:

    I originally wrote here in April 2011. I just landed again on this page. It is interesting to read my comments from a year ago. The man who hurt me is now happily married. I recently turned 41. Despite my ardent dua and conversations with Allah, no man has crossed paths with me. I am sad and lonely and feeling very left out of this world.

    I believe in tawakkul, but I wonder now about the power of dua. Allah has a destiny written for me, but after years and years of loneliness do I really have a duty to be happy about my destiny? Honestly, all the girls who have written on here that they are 27, 31, 32 etc and remain single….you have YEARS ahead of you to find someone to marry! I am 41 and no one has ever been interested in me. I am on 7- yes 7– matrimonial websites, and have been for years. I find the weekends the worst; once, I used to fill my weekends with sports, meeting friends, and even working overtime. But even that has dwindled. My friends are busy with their families, sports no longer fill the void in my soul, and working overtime drains me because I’ve been doing it for sooooo long. Often, I have to take care of my parents if one of them is sick, which is my duty, but I wish I had a source of emotional support for those times when my parents are unkind or demanding (for example, getting mad at me because they don’t like the food I make for them, or listening to my fathers sarcastic remarks about how there is no one to take care of him and my mother, or constantly calling me at work knowing that I need this job for my financial security). I wonder, all my adult life I did not want to end up old, alone, and taking care of my often-harsh parents….all my life I pared and hoped that that would not occur. And that is EXACTLY what has occurred. And I’m sorry to say that it is tearing away at my soul and I am entering into the world of despair.

    Just this weekend I was in another city for work, and stayed the weekend with my friend who lives there. She is 36 and a non-practicing Muslim. On Saturday night she went out to see her boyfriend. I’m not saying that is a good thing. But, I spent the evening alone. I went out for a walk, did some window shopping (all the shops were closed), and walked by some restaurants filled with couples and young people enjoying themselves. I bought a snack and came back o the apartment. This morning my friend was telling me how she finally feels like she has met someone who cares about her and is committed to building a future with her. At 36, she is still young enough to have children.

    It all just made me really sad, especially after the lonely evening I had.

    Sorry to be such a downer. I wish I coud give all you 30-something girls hope, but I am living roof that you can make dua day and night and life can just keep getting lonelier and sadder.,

    • Jinan Bastaki says:

      Sister, jazakiAllah khair for coming back here and sharing your thoughts. I have a few reflections on what you said.

      Allah always responds, just not in the way that we realize. The Prophet (pbuh) told us that 3 things happen with our duas; it is either responded to, or deferred, or Allah prevents a calamity that was going to happen from occurring. It was also narrated that a person made so much du’a and hardly any of their duas were answered in the dunya. On the Day of Judgment, Allah will remind them of that, and then give them all that they asked for and more in Jannah. So in reality, no du’a is ever gone to waste. Some people will get what they asked for here in dunya, others will get it in Jannah and it will be magnified.

      Sometimes we focus on a problem not realizing Allah has given us tools to deal. Allah says in the Qur’an, “with hardship comes ease”. There are eases in our lives that we are overlooking when we focus on our problems. The blessing of financial security, of friends etc. ease our burden, even if we don’t appreciate it at the time.

      We are in dunya, and thus we will be tested. Our tests will be personal to us. But the difference between those that are able to bear and those that have extreme difficulty is our relationship with Allah and our knowledge of His doings. My friend told me of a woman he met from Gaza who lost 6 of her 6 children in the 2009/2010 massacre. 6 out of 6- what more does a person have to live for after that? But her words were “I know they are martyrs waiting for me at the doors of Jannah”. It doesn’t mean she wasn’t sad and heartbroken. It doesn’t mean that she will not find difficulty going back to life without hearing her children’s laughs in her home. But she was able to see beyond. Like Yasmin says in her article, she was able to see her home in Jannah: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/youth/seeing-your-home-in-jennah-on-seeking-divine-help/ and throughout our own difficulties, we can strive to see our home in Jannah inshAllah. All of this hope in Allah is increased when we know more of Him; Rabi’a al-‘Adawiyyah was a woman from the generation of the Tabi’een. She never married, but was completely drowning in the love of Allah. And it is from her that we learn many of the concepts around loving Allah. If you haven’t already, I really recommend reading the rest of the articles in this series.

      All of that said, Allah has given us means and cures. Whenever we go through feelings of extreme despair, it can be a sign of depression. If you are going through symptoms of depression (persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings, loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, irritability, restlessness, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness), it is really important to see a licensed professional, a counselor. One thing that we lack in our community is seeking the proper channels of help. Please email the admin and perhaps we can try to find someone in your area.

      Moreover, sometimes we take comfort in our feelings of sadness. Our nafs deceives us into believing that we need to feel sad and defeated to feel alive. Moving on with life is almost akin to saying that the problem is not there. A really good program that I personally benefited from is ipersonalenrichment: http://www.ipersonalenrichment.com/ The whole purpose of the course is to teach us freedom- freedom from our nafs and the desires that hold us back from living a full life.

      I hope that helps. Please don’t hesitate to come back and leave comments if you have further questions. You are in our du’as.

  47. Huma says:

    Precious, I’m sure you have a tough time but no matter how bad lonely, sad or tough your life has been. Never, ever, ever, ever, despair in the mercy of Allah.

    We can look to the Quran and see that there are many time the prophets were severely tested in every way. Just remember Abraham (pbuh) being thrown into a fire even yet his faith never waivered even then. This is iman, no matter what never ever ever ever despair in the soothing mercy of Allah. This is Islam. May Allah guide us heal us and make us true believers ameen

  48. Muslimah says:

    Salam Sis Precious,

    Alhamdulillah I stumbled upon this article and I strongly recommend you to read up on it.

    http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/about-muhammad/he-said/451783-thinking-well-of-god.html

    And to all my brothers and sisters, here’s a little something that someone once shared with me and i would really love to share it with all of you. May this be an eye opener for us all Insya Allah.

    ‘Sometimes, when we hope for the sun to brighten up the skies, Allah S.W.T. purposely hides the sunshine from our sight. Instead, He makes us see dark skies, rain and even thunderstorm. We will only see nothing but complete darkness and hence, we will feel sad, lonely and despair.

    But when the rain stops and the skies glow brightly again, to our surprise, a colorful rainbow emerges right before our very eyes. And actually, that is what He has been wanting to present to us all the while.’

    Subhanallah. 

    Always have faith in Him, for everything that comes from Him is always a blessing in disguise. 

  49. Abida says:

    Sister Precious,I can understand your problems.Even I am going through the same problems from last 2 yrs coz of a failed marriage and an ailing father.Recently I came to know that my ex-husband got remarried right after divorce,within a month.I got the shock of my life.May be allah has a different plan for me.Don’t worry Precious,I have seen people getting married even in thier forties.Marriage is not associated with age.It’s all about finding true love.Just pray to allah for providing you true love.May allah solve all our problems.

  50. Sarah says:

    Salams Precious,

    May Allah ease your pain and bring you comfort soon. Ameen.

    I am going through major tests too ….being single and in my thirties..on top of it I lost pretty much everything last year after a bipolar/Psychotic episode (I wasn’t aware I had a mental problem before this).

    I also was unaware that I was clinically depressed. Alhamudlilah I am being treated for it now. I had to move back home and currently living with a highly critical and unstable mum who I didn’t grow up with. So I sit all day at home fighting the wispers of the Shaytan and fearing I will end up alone and live with my mum for the rest of my life.

    I am sharing this with you so you know that there are some sisters that might have it worse then you..but we need to keep struggling, have hope in Allah and only say that which pleases Allah.

    Sister Muslimah,

    May Allah grant you ease as well. Just a reminder that we need to do what is pleasing to Allah and a relationship with someone before marriage is not advisable. Even if it involves just chatting on the phone. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning it.

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