Put Your Best Face Forward


http://www.flickr.com/photos/origami_potato/7734131276/in/photostream/Think back to the last time you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror when you were stressed.  Did you look approachable?  What message did you send to others around you with your distressed facial expressions?  What type of reaction did your family or co-workers have when they engaged with you while you were in such a state?  Ever ponder the misunderstandings that may have arisen because your friend or spouse interpreted your frustration as directed towards them?  Let us reflect on the power of the smile not only in the face of adversity, but also during prosperity.

The concept of spreading good cheer in Islam is, at times, neglected and/or forgotten.  Abu Dhar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  (peace be upon him) said, “Don’t underestimate any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.” (Muslim).  Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also said, as narrated by Abu Dhar, may Allah be pleased with him, “Smiling in the face of your brother is charity.” (Tirmidhi).  So if smiling is charity, why are some of us so miserly?  Why don’t we see more people meeting others with a welcoming face?  This question has puzzled me for a long time.  I once asked a person who is “smile-challenged” about this phenomenon, and he simply shrugged.  After much contemplation and observation, I may have come to an understanding.

Once, a family member and I went to a restaurant.  After sitting at the table for some time, I was enjoying the simple experience and smiling while my dining partner was just straight-faced.  I asked what he was thinking, and he said he was analyzing how the waiter interacted differently with the people sitting at the next table than how he interacted with my dining partner.  I suggested that perhaps his own reserved facial expression prevented the waiter from engaging in a more amiable manner.  He couldn’t help but agree.  Two important points regarding smiling should be considered:

  1. You reap what you sow.  The level of positive energy you exude through your facial expressions (not to mention your overall body language, tone of voice, etc.) often dictates the level of positive interaction you receive in return.  Anticipating positive interactions with others before they actually happen also helps to breed friendly experiences.
  2. Your facial expressions reflect your inner feelings.  If you catch yourself spending your day with a frown, reflect on your thoughts.   What negative feelings are you harboring?  Consider reflecting on the positive side of each situation you encounter.  Once you modify your way of thinking, you will see a change in your facial expressions and may even find yourself smiling.

To put it quite simply, smiling creates a positive cycle of good feelings.  The act of exercising your facial muscles to smile helps to lighten your own mood, which reflects happiness on your face, which brings about a more positive response from others, which creates a deeper positive experience.  So, what if you are not inclined to smile?  Here are some tips:

  1. Be conscious of the fact that you have a tendency to withhold your smiles and check yourself.
  2. This may sound vain, but make a few mirror checks when you catch yourself frowning, or straight-faced.  Reflect upon the negative message you are sending.
  3. Put on a smile, even if you are not in the greatest mood (especially when you are around your loved ones).
  4. Make a conscious effort to watch others’ expressions and reactions when they see you with this lightened expression on your face.
  5. Don’t think about the possibility of someone not returning a smile.  Someone else may be having a bad day, and may be completely oblivious to his surroundings.  The positive effect you have on one person can never be overestimated.
  6. Reflect upon the fact that smiling is charity.  You are actually donating happiness to others when you flash your pearly whites.  And as is with all business in which we engage with Allah; when we give charity, we actually receive much more in return.  Aside from Allah’s reward, the reward of smiling is often returned with another smile, creating good cheer in a matter of seconds.

Making a conscious effort to smile at others is not only pleasing to Allah, but it helps to create a friendly atmosphere.  When you smile at your family and friends, you are letting them know you are happy with them and you love them.  And when you smile at someone you don’t know, you are offering a piece of happiness.  Spread good cheer, a little bit of effort goes a long way.

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9 Comments

  1. Fulan says:

    Jazakallah for the extremely beneficial article!

  2. Yasmin says:

    Jazakallah khair for this very practical and upifting post!

  3. salsabil says:

    Jazzakallah khair. Actually today I will try that!

  4. Your bro says:

    Salaam

    Good reminder.

    But perhaps a paragraph on lowering the gaze should be included?

    Women smiling at men and vice versa could lead to fitna, and arguably invites it.

  5. Amira says:

    That was a great article masha’allah and you raised some great points. Keep in mind though, some times people frown from being hurt by those around them, and the inability to talk about the hurt causes them to frown. So if we all try a little harder to be kinder than we are comfortable with, or work harder on a fragile relationship instead of justifying harsh behavior, more people will be smiling. :o ))) jazaki Allah Khair

  6. Wan Nur Adilah says:

    InsyaAllah will practice this. Thank you !

  7. um rayyan says:

    JazakAllah ho khairain…lovely reminder!

  8. Umrah says:

    Good reminder!
    jAzakAllah khair for this practical and beneficial post .

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