Taking Off the Hijab
Question:
I understand that hijab is required, and I’ve been wearing it for some time now but I feel like putting it on might have been a mistake. I don’t feel like it’s made me become a better Muslim, and I feel almost like I’m deceiving people because they look at me as an example even though I’m still struggling with a lot of things. Also, if I take it off, is it really something Allah will punish me for? It seems like such a petty thing. Isn’t the most important thing having a clean heart?
Answer:
Assalaamu `alaykum dear questioner,
Thank you for asking this question which opens up a number of important issues, and for entrusting us enough to share with us some of what you’re struggling with. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) that He makes the words that I write beneficial to you and others who are reading, and that He leads you to the best decisions.
I’d like to start by addressing what I believe is the least important factor in this equation, and that is ‘what other people might think.’ It should never be the case that we alter our practice of Islam or our worship for the sake of other people, or what they might think or assume. People may be quick to judge or jump to conclusions, but whatever thoughts or opinions they have are strictly their responsibility, and not something we should be overly concerned with.
You said that you’re worried that wearing hijab may be deceiving, because people see you as better than you really are. But in truth all of us are sinners, and it is only from Allah’s mercy upon us that He is as-Siteer - the One who veils our faults and our flaws, and makes us seem better than we really are in others’ eyes. One famous scholar said, “If sins had a smell no one would come near me because of the stench!” Every single one of us has deficiencies and weaknesses, has made mistakes, has taken missteps or is presently taking them. We only do the best that we can, and any good deed that Allah grants us the opportunity to perform should be considered a blessing that we take advantage of. Instead of worrying about not being good enough, we can instead consider this as an opportunity to be thankful to Allah for concealing our negatives, and pray, “O Allah, forgive me for what they do not know about me, and make me even better than what they think.”
You will be hard-pressed to find anyone on this earth who can be considered ‘worthy’ of being a representative of Islam, because everyone has one dimension or another in their faith or practice in which they are lacking. However that doesn’t mean we should stop encouraging each other by whatever means are available to us. There is a very beautiful hadith related to this issue:
Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)
Remember that by wearing hijab you are not saying to others ‘I am Islam’, but simply that ‘I am a Muslim’, meaning – I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it. I remember a quote attributed to Yusuf Islam: “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” – becoming more, become better, striving to reach that state of perfect submission and connection with Allah Most High, and May He help all of us achieve that, ameen.
You also said that you feel hijab has not really made you a better Muslim. A lot of times when a person first starts performing a good deed they feel an iman ‘rush’, a feeling of happiness at doing something good for the sake of Allah and energy to do more, improve themselves, etc. However, after some time, when that action starts to become just another part of a daily routine, it loses that power, and that increase in iman and excitement dissipates.
What a person needs, instead of focusing on those ‘rushes’, is a steady and constant diet of good deeds and spiritual nourishment. We cannot rely on one particular deed to ‘make’ us better Muslims. Instead, we have to take the reigns and make sure we are doing things regularly that increase us in iman, like recitation of the Qur’an, performing salah with consciousness and focus, dhikr, and so on. Wearing hijab can definitely be one of those things, but it is only one part of a whole that needs to be constructed. Just like exercise is important for good health, yet it has to be combined with eating right and many other things in order for the person to see the desired results in the end.
Also know that there is a direct relationship between a person’s actions and their inner state. We know that when someone is in a high state of iman it’s natural for him or her to start performing more good deeds. However, we may overlook the fact that the opposite is true as well – that just performing good deeds, even if one may not be ‘feeling it’, can affect us and change us. The limbs are inroads, and performing good deeds with them can soften a hardened heart, bring enlightenment to a closed mind, and give a person a feeling of rejuvenation and desire to come closer to Allah and do more positive things. I heard a scholar say that if one is feeling troubled, confused or in a low state of iman, “go quickly to action”; because good deeds can bring about that inner reawakening one may need. If we don’t see a change happening in us when we do a good deed, that doesn’t mean we should stop it but that perhaps we need to supplement it with others in order to gather the momentum needed to see results.
Thirdly, you are absolutely correct when you say that the most important thing is for us to have purified hearts. Allah (swt) emphasizes this in the Qur’an when He states that on the Day of Judgment nothing will be of benefit to the servant except “one who brings to Allah a clean, sound heart” (26:89). The question is, how does one achieve that? What purifies us and cleanses our hearts?
In our times we find that some people feel that we’ve reached a more ‘enlightened era’ in which spirituality can be derived solely from philosophy and ideas, and need not be bound by rituals and details of religion. However those who propound this notion forget that Allah did not create us as minds and souls alone – but coupled them with our physical bodies. We cannot deny the fact that we are body and soul, content and form, together, and each has its own needs and specifications for refinement. This is a sunnah of Allah in the way that we were created, and why prayer, fasting, and all our spiritual endeavors have very specific physical components. These forms house within them dimensions of meaning, but it is only from enacting them precisely that a profound spirituality can be achieved.
Purifying our hearts is the goal, but the means to reaching that goal is through the very real and specific physical prescriptions and commandments that Allah (swt) has given us. It is through His obedience and through following the teachings of our deen that we clean and polish our hearts. It is for this reason that I have to say that hijab is not something trivial. Anything that leads us to spiritual awareness, elevation, and purification – that helps us come closer to Allah – cannot be considered trivial or petty. Perhaps it is more likely that there are hidden depths within it that we do not perceive, or that we are not putting it in the proper context of its deeper purpose and meaning.
About punishment from Allah: a better way of looking at this issue is not considering the smallness or pettiness of the sin, but the greatness of the One whom we are sinning against. From His infinite wisdom, all-encompassing knowledge and vast mercy, in accordance to His Law – which is at its core about attaining benefit and warding off harm – He has instructed us to perform this action. In the Qur’an Allah says, ‘It may be that you dislike something and in it is goodness for you’ (2:216); ‘It may be that you dislike a thing but Allah brings about from it a great deal of good.’ (4:19) If someone chooses to step away from a prescribed action knowingly, we cannot deny that this is a sin, and that Allah holds us to account for our sins. However we always have hope in and pray for Allah’s mercy and kindness, as we know He can forgive all sins if He chooses.
In closing, I want to leave you with a beautiful quote from a Hadith Qudsi. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala said:
“My servant draws not near to Me with anything more beloved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him.” (Bukhari)
Know, dear questioner, that if you feel far from Allah, the solution is not to stop what you are doing and find a different way, but to persevere and continue on the path you are on, even though it is hard. This will make you beloved to Allah, and one who feels the happiness of being close to Him and being shaded by His Loving Mercy and care.
May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.
WAllahu a`lam – and He alone knows best.
Wasalaamu alaykum.
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Coming back on earlier posts, I don’t agree that the sister “is trying to mold the islamic teachings according to her whims & caprices. I think she’s just not convinced that hijab is an order from Allah. The moment she will be, she will take on the hijab without question. And I think she has been disappointed by people with regards to her deen with may explain the reluctance and unhealthy suspicion. I also think she’s scared, as I am today.
My story is a bit odd, one would say. I became Muslim in 2003 and wore hijab around a year later, then took it off after two years because at the time I was also thinking that “it’s just a piece of cloth on my head” so it wasn’t a big deal for me taking it off and unfortunately the result of that thinking was that I would be wearing hijab and smile at men, smoke (telling myself at the time that I was too addicted to quit, but that’s solved now Alhamdulillah). Because I didn’t understand that it’s not just about “the piece of cloth”, but about a whole attitude as well. Even when I took it off, I never justified not wearing it, and my strong view is that one may not wear hijab, but it’s never okay to try to justify not doing so. So whatever it takes for you to be convinced that this is a command from Allah, then do so, and make a sincere du’aa for Allah to show you the irrefutable proof, because Allah sees our hearts and judges our sincerity, not our dresses. This is not a matter of debate for me because it’s clear that it’s a command from Allah. I just knew that my personal devil was getting the best of me, and I gave in to the stupid excuses it was whispering in my heart (like, it’s too hot, how dare you claim to be such a pure muslima knowing what a sinner you are, what are you trying to tell people, what are your parents going to say, it’s so unfair, etc . Reflecting, that’s one of the worst things I’ve done these past years and I cannot describe how bad I feel as a result. Despite being of African “muslim” origin, I was raised with western values that most often than not contradict islam but people don’t perceive it that way. I’ve landed on this forum because I’m about to wear hijab again, inshallah. And I’m being faced with several issues, one of whom is this fear of losing my culture, of drowning in what many fear to be, sorry to say, the idiotic following of arab culture. Another fear I have is that it may have adverse consequences on my job, because I’m a communication manager and I’m an extravert, and pride myself in being ‘fun to be around’, good looking, easygoing with all, etc and now with the hijab I know I’ll have to be more reserved with men, not hugging males left and right for example. I’m also scared because my husband doesn’t want me to do this, also arguing that I should just wear decent skirts and stuff and I don’t need hijab to obey Allah and I don’t want to pain him or worse lose him. So I’m scared of so many things but I’m going to do this nevertheless inshallah (I’ve already given away all my other clothes, and about to go buy hijabs) because my fears are groundless, I’m sure of that. I chose to be muslim because I know this is the truth. So I’m not going to listen to this voice inside me anymore or give in to my fears, because I chose islam, which entails that I’ve made a pledge to follow the truth and not try to fit islam in the lifestyle I wish to have, but rather fit my lifestyle into islam. Like a sister said earlier, growing up in western environment teaches us that we must just do what we want and that’s what I do except when Allah tells me to do something. Even if in my heart I can’t bring myself to do it, I ask Allah to forgive me and ADMIT it’s the truth anyway. That’s also what being Muslim is, we’re not perfect, we’re sinners, all of us. But on this one, I say to my culture, islam is more important because I made a pledge and inshallah I will stand by it to the best of my ability. I say to my husband, sorry honey I love you dearly but you have no say on this one because when Allah created me you were not there, and when I’ll die you’ll bury me and throw dust over me then I’m going back to Allah without you to speak out in my defence. So I say no to all these fears, because I want to stop this nonsense of mine and stand by the unvoiced promise I made when I chose islam: to follow Allah, and not my culture, my race, my history, my social class, my husband, my parents, my friends, my fears, my desires, my preferences. All this doesn’t matter AT ALL, because Allah tells me so, and I have no doubt about this command. That’s another meaning of la ilaha ilallah right there.
Sister, no one should condemn you to Hell because you think that hijab is just a piece of cloth. That’s your opinion, you’re free to express it. I personally don’t agree and am convinced that this is not it, but I would like to say two things: 1- that you should have an open mind and let yourself be convinced that you’ve got it wrong. There are many arguments in this forum that are really convincing, if only you would leave your hard position of suspecting everyone and everything – which may be understandable by the way, but still. And 2- NO ONE in his right mind would think that a woman without hijab is definitely going to Hell solely because of that. Don’t think that’s what others think because even if they do, they’re WRONG! Our religion is not like that, and like I said, Allah looks at your heart and your deeds. We’re all sinners, and our God is the owner of mercy and pity. So being clothed with righteousness is the best, of course. Still being physically clothed with a hijab is also a command, albeit not of the same importance.
I would also like to tell this other sister that I’m sorry that muslim women are mistreated in her community, but that she should not let any person’s bad behavior deter her from her deen whoever the person, whatever the case, however serious what they do to me. If I have the ability I will fight them with all my strength because Allah did not put me on this earth to be oppressed by NOBODY or mistreated. But if I can do nothing about it (because sometimes we just can’t change the world!) then at least they will not make me turn away from my creator, by Allah! they will not endanger my akhirah. So sister, remember that you’re not wearing hijab for them, but for your salvation, and because it’s Allah who told you to do it, not them. I suspect this bad attitude towards women in some communities may also just be a trial from Allah, to see how we react but let’s not also forget Allah has told us to defend ourselves!
May Allah forgive me and you, have mercy on us, and help us with His mighty help. Salaam alaikum to you all and please make du’aa for me.
Dear khadeejah,
I am in a similar position as you and would like to make contact if possible…
Mariam: surgis@iway.na
Wa alaikum as salam,
very well said and very nice what you wrote!
May Allah give you the strength to do what you’ve set out to do. You should be proud of all the strength you have shining through all the obstacles you’re well aware of! May Allah reward us all for our struggles and sacrifices, both in this world and the next. Remember that you may struggle in this world, and wearing the hijab may be your test, as we all have tests of our faith. But if you go walking towards Allah, he will come running towards you, inshaAllah.
Salaam dear sister Khadeejah,
Your post here is amazing MachALLAH. I am also an African muslim woman, and I would be so grateful to have your email address for questions regarding wearing the hijab, job place, etc…
May ALLAH bless you sis and everyone on this forum
Dear sister, Subhanallah I really salute and respect you for writing this piece. May Allah have mercy on you and give you the courage always to having istiqamah in doing the right thing upon making the right decision (to do the right things for Allah). I hope more ladies are moved by your sincere writings. Insya-Allah my prayers are with you and people like you..
If opinion on the mandatory nature of Hijab is on the whole ambiguous, should we not ask why it has become a part of Islamic identity? Including something as a part of Islam’s identity (even if inadvertently) has pitfalls as well as seemingly inconsistent with our belief that Islam is immutable.
an important step sister can take is find good company for herself-company of women better than her in deen as suhbah is extremely important if one wishes to improve in deen and spirituality!
Allah SWT has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allah SWT orders the Muslim woman to wear the Hijab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men. So to wear the Hijab is a source of great good for you.
I am a convert/revert to Islam. It took me 14 yrs to gather the courage to wear the hijab. The defining moment for me, was during an assault on Gaza. I wanted to show my solidarity with my brothers and sisters in Palestine who were suffering. I wanted the world to see a Muslim when they looked at me. I wanted to define who I was, not allow others to make assumptions. We are Muslims, InshaAllah. That is the key, “InshaAllah.” We are always striving to be worthy of the honor to call ourselves a Muslim, until the day we leave this life. May Allah guide and help us all to be the best possible example of His great religion, Islam. Allah(S) knows we are flawed. He did not create us to be perfect. Make duah for Allah(S) to guide you, and to make wearing the hijab easy for you. May Allah(S) reward you for your struggle.
Slamo Allikom Guys. I would like to ask u something related to this issue. I’m an 18 years old teenager who her dad somehow forced her to wear hijab 3 years ago. Now I grew up and I hate the fact that I didn’t choose hijab and also I’m not convinced with it neither like it yet. Yes I know that’s what Allah said but I think there are more important thing to concentrate on like who’s Allah and know I’m more about islam (I barely know anything about it). So what do u think I should do? I need help please. Thanks in advance
@ Rodayna,
I had to put Hidjab when my dad asked me to do it,I didn’t like this first but later on I changed my mind. I thank Allah now for giving my such a great father who imposed on me the hidjab not because he wanted to restrict my freedom but simply because he wanted to protect me from all what’s bad and make me a better Muslimah.
For your second question, I advise you to read a lot about Islam. You can start by reading the biography of our Prophet peace be upon him, read Quran with tafsir (translation), watch videos about Islam and its teachings and make du’aa that Allah opens up your heart towards Islam and guide you.
May Allah bless you sister and grant you all the best, insh’Allah.
Wa Assalam alaikum wa rahmato Allah
Hi Rodayna,
I’m in my 20s, but I remember my feelings a couple of years ago when I wanted to take off my Hijab sooooo baaad (I started wearing it in 5th grade btw), and until this day, with all the fashion trends, seeing all of these people dresses up and almost half naked, it’s hard not to be affected by that. But after that, I remember that Islam freed me from my fears (how I look and how people are judging me) and from being EYECANDY -if you know what I mean-
The first thing you have to do is to embrace your Hijab. As students, we come across many tests in life that we hate, but at the end we have to embrace it and start studying. Well, one of our tests in life as human beings and -more importantly- as Muslim girls, is to take this test and challenge our selves. Yes, sometimes, we play around and forget about our tests, but at the end it should always be part of our mentality.
As the Shaykh said that we should focus on our sins, but on how merciful Allah is.
None of us is perfect, believe me. But at least, we are challenging ourselves and doing something that Allah loves.
Take Care and hope to hear from you soon
Wa alakum Alslam ,,
Sister ,, Your father was wrong when he force you to wear Hijab with out your conviction. But believe me, your father force you to wear the Hijab not to make you suffer or to take your freedome from you ,, Remember he did that because he wanted to protect you.. Your father knows how the men look to a women ,, from witch side they look to her..” You know what I mean !! ”
While you are wearing the Hijab ,, men don’t say anything from you exept “you” !! your mind !! your thoughts !! ,,
Wearing Hijab ,, Doesn’t mean I’m freak or I’m oppressed !!, It means I’m esteemed women.. I’m not easy to play with ,,
Also , Wearing Hijab means You are strong !! You’re proud of what you are !! You’re Muslim and you have to be proud of that.. You have to thank Allah .. that he made you grew up in Believeing, Muslim Famliy.. grew up as a respected girl … And not to learn how to respect your self on the hard way .. !!
In addition , You are worshiping Allah every minute you are wearing Hijab .. Because you’re following his instructions …
After .. You now why your father make you wearing the Hijab ,,,
You’ll be “Free” .. by wearing the Hijab ,,, Because you want to !! not because you’re forced to ..
May Allah protects you in every step you’re going to take
Assalamu alaikum sis Rodayna, i Think that the Best Way for you is to seek knowledge about why the hijab is fard in islam. And seek a Company of sisters who can help you in your deen inshaAllah
Assalaamu’alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
What a beautiful response! Subhan’Allah, I am not the only one going through the “hijab crisis”. I reverted to Islam a few years ago, but didn’t do the obligatory acts sincerely until a couple of years ago. I always gave myself excuses as to why I am not yet wearing the hijab until it eventually hit me that no matter what reason/excuse I give, none of them will be justifiable in front of Allah (swt) when He questions me on Yawmidin. Some time later, I found out that the men in my life will also be questioned as to why I am not wearing my hijab and this pretty much nailed me. Wallahi, something stirred within me and I knew that I had to wear my hijab soon. The last thing I wanted was for my husband to be in trouble with Allah (swt) because I wasn’t wearing my hijab yet. Not to mention, we don’t know when we’ll die. No matter what reason we have to put it off, it’ll never be sufficient. What if I die today without my hijab? What reason do I give Allah (swt)?
I’m currently in the process of wearing my hijab, and I don’t just mean the scarf. I’m starting to buy abayas and loose clothing as well. I don’t need a wardrobe, I need a wardrobe addition, hehehe. I’m not wearing the scarf yet, just loose clothing, as it’s a step by step process for me. Insha’Allah, in the next few weeks, I’ll have be wearing the scarf. After all, we need to do things gradually.
Allah maak to all of you sisters going through this dilemma. May Allah (swt) guide us all in our hijab journey. May Allah (swt) be pleased with our efforts in taking one step forward at a time to donning our hijab.
Jazaki Allah al khair…beautiful words…thank you!
Mashallah! I feel so proud to have all this muslimahs commenting on this site as my sisters.. I cannot even explain it! May Allah give us all the strenght to stand up for Islam and share our beautiful religion to whole mankind, and may Allah show us the right path! Amin!
Masha Allah! May Allah guide us to the right path and give us strength and victory over shaitaan. Doubts about our religion comes from shaitaan. He vowed to lead us astray and as the world is coming to an end, it seems like he is winning because we are surrounded by those who would love to lead us astray. The best course of action, at least that’s what i do whenveer i have these kinds of doubts about my religion, sometimes my doubts even goes deeper untill i get depressed. Well, Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) helps cleanse the heart. When doubts come in, i do Dhikr, fill my heart with it and refuse the doubt to take hold of me. It is difficult but by Allah’s grace, I return to normal i.e i feel happy. Its like a feel a presence greater than anything in this world fill my heart, i feel closer to Allah.
Alhamdulillah, I have come to a point that without my hijab, i feel exposed, infact, NAKED. It is now a part of me and I pray that Allah (SWT) continue to guide our path.
May Allah make it easy for us to obey Him (Ameen Ya Rabb)
Salaam ‘Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah
Alsalamo alaykom
actually I was not wearing Hijab I’ve been lost the way Muslim but it just a name
)) I want all ppl to know Islam to be on the right way inshalla plz make dua’a for me to find a way to be part of it , I want to serve Islam ya raaab
))
But then Allah (subhano w ta’ala) guide me to the right way I felt that the missing part is finally complete in ( Qura’an – hadeth .. And everything Allah give it to us to make our soul speak and happy . But the first thing I did is wearing Hijab simply I feel like ( Muslim & broud ) then I start learning all the things about Islam Mashallah it’s just Amazing subhanu Allah and alhamdulillah
. We love u Allah and we will do everything u asked for COZ U KNOW US MORE THAN WE KNOW OUR SELFS
God bless u all sisters take care
Salaam to all
I am also a revert muslim and a proud hijabi for the past 4 months and I have to say that I love my hijab, it was scary for me at first, you know job, what will the boss say, what will my friends and clients say(I’m in the legal profession) but I made that intention in my heart and to Allah(swt).
My husband took my kids n I for Umrah in Feb and all I can say is that my life has never felt so fulfilled after that, the sheer force of where u are hit me like a ton of bricks, wen I saw the kabaa and in madina the roza al jannah @ musjid al nabwi I cried like a baby, and when I left I felt light as a feather.
So my little advice is wear ur hijab with pride… If u drop 2 sweets on the floor one wit the wrapper and one without…which would u pick pick up?
Remember u are that sweet, wrapped up wit the protection of Allah (swt)
Slms
that was very good answer!
I think the most wonderful part of this faith is the emphasis given to freedom of choice and the importance of intent. I think that if you have ever been forced to do anything, for your “own good” or otherwise, it wasn’t a decision that was between you and God alone. If you leave the hijab and find something missing or finding your heart calling back to it a few years later then that’s great. If you take it off and don’t want to wear it again, that doesn’t make you any less of a Muslim. Faith is in your heart, not a cloth on your head. Choose to wear it, choose to take it off but don’t absolve yourself of the power you have over the decision. It’s entirely yours to make.
Just my two cents
Salamalikam sisters,
I have been wearing the hijab for almost a yr now, and i feel like taking it off because at work i get verbally abuse, once i had a bag thrown at me!!Ever since i have worn the hijab i have been not as close to allah (swt) as i was when i wasnt wearing the hijab, do women really go to the hell fire if they just dont wear the hijab but prays, wears covered clothes, fasts and gives charity?? I need some help plz!!!
Awesome response, made me cry! I chose to take off the hijab a year ago after wearing it for 7 years. I’m slowly building a great relationship with God and I really hope I can gather enough strength to wear it properly one day again.