I Prayed for Peace Today


I found myself praying for peace today.
I’ve been in and out of my mind a thousand times
I know You heard me.
I know I wasn’t alone in that room,
shaking with the fear of fear,
the harrowing loneliness.
I cried out to You on my hands. On my knees.
With my face pushed down against the ground.
If I could have gotten lower, I swear I would.
Because that is helplessness, the truest kind…
The kind that knows nothing, not one leaf, or tear, or smile can be
without Him.
I learned something today.
Again.
This is dunyaDunya. Not a place of ease. Only glitter.
The place where you have to feel cold and hungry.
The place where you have to worry and feel scared.
The place where it gets cold.
So cold, sometimes.
The place where you have to leave the people you love.
Where you can’t get attached, because even if you do, it doesn’t make it stay, it just makes it hurt when it doesn’t.
The place where happiness and sadness are only players, waiting for their next line in a play…
Competing for their place on stage.
The place where gravity makes you fall, and frailty makes you bleed.
The place where sadness exists, because it must.
And tears fall to remind you of a place where they don’t.
Where they just don’t.

And isn’t that just it? Isn’t jannah that place after all,
that place that Allah describes over and over and over in 2 ways?
La khawfun alayhim wa la hum yahzanoon
On them shall be no fear…nor shall they grieve.

But I’m still here, aren’t I?
The scar on my flesh reminds me of that.
The burn on my arm left a scar that I love.
I love it because it reminds me how weak I am.
How human.
That I burn. That I bleed. That I break. That I scar.
Yes. It is here that I am. Here that I fall. Here that I cry.
Here, just the same, that You filled that room, and lifted me to humbleness, and an acute knowledge of my own powerlessness and excruciating need for You.
And then you took care of it.
Of course You did.
Of course.
Like Younus, and Musa, and his mother. You took care of it.
You are the Peace of the peaceful.
The Strength of the strong.
The Lighthouse of Truth in this storm of lies.
So, I found myself praying for peace today.


dunya: this world
Jannah: Paradise
Younus: Jonah
Musa: Moses

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22 Comments

  1. osman says:

    Allahuma anta salaam.never commit injustice upon yourself,upon others and above all Allah.thanks sister well written

  2. Mev says:

    Breathtakingly beautifully written Jazakala khairun!

  3. Rabiya says:

    beautiful! touches the soul.

  4. Yasmin says:

    Jazakallah khair for this very meaningful and eloquent post!

  5. Ahmed says:

    There’s great honesty in this piece. May Allah lift our burdens in this life and the next.

  6. Mofeda says:

    Beautiful

  7. Othuman Ntale says:

    Assalam Alaikum. Baraka Llahu for this great poems. This is true beauty of islam that the Quran the encyclopidea of knowledge has made more poets.
    Thanks for sharing

  8. Ramadan says:

    jazakillahu khayr

  9. Sarah says:

    Beautifull reminder mashaAllah, jazakillahu khair!

  10. Khadhija says:

    wow. masha Allah

  11. Dar says:

    thanks…very nice..

  12. nini says:

    i love it…

  13. Fahdia says:

    Simply love this post! Beautifully written. MashaaAllah! May the Almighty reward the author. Ameen

  14. Kendriana says:

    This was beautiful.

  15. kunle ibn Sanz says:

    a truly beautiful & poetic piece

  16. OooKhalid says:

    //Where you can’t get attached, because even if you do, it doesn’t make it stay, it just makes it hurt when it doesn’t.//

    This verse resonated so deep with me. Maybe it is beacuse0 I too lost a loved one. *sigh*

  17. Huma says:

    I feel enriched after reading this soul touching poem. It has renewed my vision positively. JazakumAllah!

  18. beautyofbelief says:

    jazakallahukhair

  19. Windy says:

    Allahu Akhbar!! SubhanaAllah, I have been moving through some personal trials and have found myself many of times wishing i could press my face even deeper into the ground during my salat from pure desperation. This poem has touched me immensely and has come to my sight in such good time. Jazakallah Khair for sharing. Your work is truly beautiful mashallah. May Allah swt bless and protect in all the days to come as well as to keep you firm upon the straight path. Assalam Alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu

  20. Faiza says:

    sniff* :( simply beautiful.

  21. Nassira says:

    salaam sis’
    This poem is very touching and deep… it is also a very good reminder for us all human. You have written it from your heart and it’s echo is infinite.
    BarakAllahu fiki :-)

  22. Fatima says:

    indeed. . .

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