Du`a’ and Despair
Question:
I have a few questions concerning du`a’ (supplication). What are the best times to make du`a’? I’ve been making du`a’ in the last hour of the night, and I’m encouraged to keep making it until Allah grants me my wish or gives me whatever He thinks is best for me.
However, as humans we tend to get tired, lose hope, and feel as if our du`a’ is not being accepted. Particularly when you really want something, it can be very hard to accept that what you want may not be good for you. Sometimes, when you don’t see the results or feel that your du`a’ is not being accepted, it can even make you want to stop making du`a’.
This battle is extremely frustrating, and I find myself losing hope at times. I feel as though Shaytan (Satan) is whispering negative thoughts in my head, causing me to complain and say unnecessary things. When I think about this, I despair at the idea of my sins mounting, and I feel as though these sins decrease the chance of my du`a’ being accepted. I don’t want this to continue as I can see that I’m only hurting myself, but I just lose hope.
Answer:
Barak Allaahu feeki (may Allah bless you). I’m really glad that you have sent this email as it shows that you truly do care about your deen (way of life) and want to put your trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). I know this life can be extremely tough, but don’t lose hope. Allah has promised us that He will respond to our du`a’, especially when we are in distress. In Surat an-Naml, He says:
“Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth?” (Qur’an 27:62)
Allah has also promised that as long as we are not hasty, He will answer our du`a’. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺsaid “The du`a’ of any worshiper will continue to be responded to as long as he does not ask for a sin or breaking the ties of kinship, and as long as he is not hasty.” He was then asked what being hasty meant, and he replied, “A worshipper says ‘I have prayed and prayed, and I don’t see that it will be accepted,’ so he gives up hope of being answered and leaves du`a’.’”
I know that sometimes this is extremely hard. We really want to have our needs answered at the minute that we ask for something because we think that this will be best for us, but Allah knows the reality of it. He knows not only what is best for us but also when it is best for us. Ibn Al Qayyim said something that really touches my heart, and I constantly remember it when I myself am going through distressing times. Regarding someone who gives up hope in having their du`a’ answered, he said, “His example is like that of a person who planted a seed, then guarded it, and took care of it, and watered it, but when it delayed in (giving its fruit) and reaching perfection, he left it and did not take care of it anymore!” We just need to stick by our seed and wait for it to bloom.
As for recommended times to make du`a’, alhamdu lil Lah (praise be to Allah) Allah has blessed us and given us numerous opportunities throughout the day to make du`a’ and have it be more likely to be accepted; we just need to take advantage of those times. As you mentioned, one of these times is during the last third of the night. During this time, Allah Himself comes down to His servant and opens for us the doors of mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet ﷺ said, “The closest any worshipper can be to his Lord is during the last part of the night, so if you can be amongst those who remember Allah at that time, then do so.” Another time is when the adhaan (call to prayer) has been given. The Prophet ﷺ said, “When the prayer is called, the doors of the skies are opened, and the du`a’ is answered.” Alhamdu lil Lah Allah has blessed us with that opportunity five times a day! In addition to that, the du`a’ between the adhaan and theiqaamah (call to stand for prayer) is also looked upon highly. The Prophet ﷺ said, “The du`a’ between the adhaan and the iqaamah is not refused, therefore offer your du`a’ (at this time).”
Another great time to make du`a’ is during salah (prayer). We are closest to Allah during sujood (prostration), when we have our foreheads on the ground in humility. This is the position that is most beloved to Allah, and the Prophet ﷺ said, “The closest any worshipper can be to his Lord is while he is in prostration, so increase your du`a’ in it.” While in salah, after a person has finished their tashahhud (portion of the prayer in which you kneel in the 2nd and last units of prayer) and before he says tasleem (salutation at the end of prayer) to end his salah, he can also make du`a’ at this point for anything he wishes , as this is one of the times of response as well. Du`a’ after salah is also known to be one that is most likely to be accepted . The Prophet ﷺwas asked, “Which du`a’ is the most likely to be responded to?” He responded, “In the last part of the night, and after the obligatory prayers.” One of my favorite times to make du`a’ is actually when it starts to rain. The rain is a mercy of Allah, and the Prophet ﷺ said, “Two are the du`a’ that are never returned: the du`a’ made when the prayer is being called, and at the time of rainfall.”
Lastly sister, if your du`a’ is not being answered, I am positive that there is wisdom behind this. There are a few reasons that one might not have their du`a’ answered immediately. We have to realize that Allah is al-Hakim (the Most Wise). Often times we may desire something that is not the best for us, thus, when we don’t see results, we think that Allah is not responding to our du`a’ whereas He is actually saving us from a calamity. Additionally, there may be other wisdoms for the delay in this response for reasons that we may not know.
Sometimes when our hearts are deeply attached to something, we cannot see any reason why we shouldn’t have that thing—yet in reality it is not what is best for us. Allah says in the Qur’an,
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)
To not have a du`a’ answered could, in fact, be one of the biggest blessings. Allah will give us that which we need, not simply that which we want. For example, say a sister really wants to marry a brother, and she makes du`a’ for this. Allah knows that in reality, this brother would make her life miserable, He may protect her from this hardship by not willing that the two get married. Hence, although her du`a’ was not answered in the way she wanted, Allah gave her a bigger blessing by saving her from something which would not be good for her. It was said that If we had perfect power like Allah to determine our destinies, and perfect vision like Allah to see the future and know what is best for us, we would chose exactly the same fate that Allah has chosen for us. A saying that beautifies this point further is:
He has not denied you, except to give you.
Another thing is that the du`a’ may have in fact been responded to, and we just don’t realize it. The acceptance of the du`a’ may be in a manner that is not obviously apparent. It is also possible that Allah will give us the reward of this du`a’ on the Day of judgment, and this reward will be more beloved to us on that Day than anything that could have been given to us in this life. It is also possible that Allah blesses us with something else that we did not ask for, but is better for us. And lastly, Allah may avert an evil that was destined for us because of the du`a’ that we made.
Whatever you do sister, do not lose hope. Sufyaan ibn Uyaynah said something that will forever be etched in my heart, and I hope that it can help you as well. He said, “Let none of you think that his du`a’ will not be answered because of (the sins) that he knows of himself. Indeed, Allah responded to the du`a’ of the worst of the creation, Iblis (the devil), may Allah curse him, when he said:
“He said, ‘My Lord, then reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected.’ [Allah] said, ‘So indeed, you are of those reprieved.’” [Qur’an, 15:36-37]
If Iblis’ du`a’ can be answered, surely the du`a’ of a sinner has more precedence than his!
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Barak Allahu feekum for the answer, and for the question that prompted the answer!
It was answered in a very gentle and comprehensive way. The Ibn Al Qayyim saying about not neglecting the plant that has delayed giving fruit was very insightful. Ma sha Allah.
May Allah ta’ala ever increase our trust in Him.
A really beautiful article mash’Allah!
Jazaks I needed that!
Peace be upon you!! May Allah bless you for this article!!
I believe there is a mistake in the article. Shouldn’t it be “… two dua that are never rejected…” instead of “never returned.” Peace.
beautiful….slight correction:)
“are the du`a’ that are never returned: the du`a’ made when the prayer is being called, and at the time of rainfall.”
Dont you mean “never refused”?
the arabic word that is used in the hadeeth is ” تردان ” which from what I understand means to be return rather than rejected. What I understood is that it will not be returned *unanswered*–Although to make it clear I see that rejected may be a better word to use, In sha Allah. Barak Allahu Feekum
haha….just saw the inital correction now from hafiz
supoosed to be a
ok your smile machine is not working…I give it up! “SMILING”
Jazaki Allahu kul khayr! Subhan Allah, what beneficial advice, barak Allahu fiki
thank you. truly, it comes just in time to help me get through the day
<I know right Man`shallah … I <3 this page script whatever I love it!!!!!
great quote by Ibn al-Qayyim!
Assalamualaikum Sheikh Suhaib,
I too am in a very similar situation. I do not know what to do other than keep praying extra nafl prayer. This person had inspired me to come back strong on the deen to a point in which I am giving Sadaqa every week, to not cursing anymore, to praying extra prayers, to pretty much every aspect of my deen, which is why I wish to ask for this sister’s hand in marriage. I don’t know if I am indeed making the wrong prayer, but maybe I am. I ask Allah that if what is going to prevent this marriage from happening is a weakness in my iman, then increase my iman and make me stronger. If it is a weakness in her iman, please help her and make her iman stronger as she went through a very disturbing situation that no one should have to go through. I also pray that may Allah unite us in Jannah InshAllah with RasulUllah (SAW). The reason I make this dua is because I sincerely care about this person and I think to myself, what can be better than to be with a person we care about AND RasulUllah (SAW). Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. Please make dua to make it either easy for this to happen or easy for me to let go because it has gotten to the point that when I listen to Quran, I shed so many tears that I almost cannot function because I keep thinking that it was this sister that inspired me to be the person who I am today. Sorry for opening up this much and if it has disturbed any person. JazakAllahkhair, and may Allah SWT reward everyone on here with Jannah tul Firdoz. Ameen. Assalamualaikum Wa RahmatUllahhi Wa Barakatahu.
I stumbled upon this page trying to look for an answer on a similar situation.
Jazak Allah Kheir, its a beautiful reply and I will try and I’ll keep it in mind always inshAllah.
I too am praying to marry this brother who I feel would be a good husband to me and that we end up married soon. And due to the situation and hardships, that I thank Allah for, i have become a better muslim and continue to be inshAllah, My faith in Allah has never been stronger and I have put my complete faith in Him alone for guidance and support, when before I would run around to friends and family asking them for advice.
However my concern at times is, what if I am asking for the wrong thing, and how would I know that. You said that we should continue in our dua, and the words said by Ibn Al Qayyim are very hopeful. but i cant help but think if i continue praying and its the thing thats not good for me then im just continuing to wish for something that is not mine and at the end my devastation would be more.
I apologize, but i am a little confused and I’m scared that I would loose my faith and I do not want that.
Salam Alaikom Brother,
Very beautiful post. I saw that you posted this in 2010 and we are almost 2013 now..did your dua’s fulfill ? It is inspiring if you share your story and what happened
Aselamu aleykum brother,
jezakellahu kheyren, i have a very important and urgent question… i was wronged by a non-muslim who happened to also mock my religion calling us ‘terrorists, who only believe they have the right religion’- he is more Allah’s enemy than mine. I prayed for Allah to pay him back for his oppression for two years now and he only seems to be getting more successful and happier. I know one of the prayers to be answered is that of a wronged person, evan if not muslim, i wonder where my prayer went wrong, i wonder if it is a test but it is so difficult for me and i sometimes lose hope only to blame myself later that i dont have enough faith b/c “who loses hope from Allah except the ‘thualim’ people?” I hope you will reply to me soon, jezakellahu kheyren and pray for me!
Bismillah,ir-Rahman,ir-Rahim.
Ashahadu An Laa illaaha illal llahu
Wa Ash Hadu Anna Muhammadan Abdu Hu Wa Rasooluhu
”I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah
who is without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) is the Rasool.”
“O Allah, Shower Your Peace come upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have brought peace to Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious. O Allah, Shower your blessing upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, as you have blessed Ibrahim and his family. Truly, You are Praiseworthy and Glorious”.
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam, As-Salaam Alaikum!
My Name is Khalid U.Ibrahim. I am in need of your (Du’a) Prayers for ALLAH’s Help and Protection. (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Bestow on us (the Believing Muslims) a Home, a Home of Safety, Security and Peace in this World Life, Out of the Reach of the Dajjal and his army, and also Grant us a Home of Safety,Security and Peace in the Life Hereafter,Out of the Reach of the Fires of Hell!.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you to Increase our Faith and Devotion, and to Bless us with Peace in our Hearts and Souls.(Ya ALLAH!) Please Forgive All The Believing Muslims,(Ya ALLAH!) Please grant All the Believing Muslims the Best in this world Life and the Best in Hereafter, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect us(the Believing Muslims) from own Nafs, and(Ya ALLAH!) Please Protect All the Believing Muslims from the hands of the Dajjal and his army.] {No One in this World care!} (Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you for the means to do good, and to avoid evil, and Bless us to Love the poor, and I beseech you forgive us(the Believing Muslims) and have mercy on us. And When you subject the people of theWorld to trial, Protect us from being affected by it.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I Beg of you, your Love and Protection,and the Love of those who Love you, and Grant us the Love of all such actions that will bring us closer to you, with our Love and Devotion to you.(Ya ALLAH!) OALLAH! I thank you for all your Mercy and Protection that you have bestowed on us, and all that you have given us in these trouble times that we are facing,(Al-Hamdolillah!).
Barakallahu fik for this article, I needed that. I have been making duas for a very long time, that ALLAH would help me marry the brother I wanted. But my duas never were responded. The more I made duaas, the more I was depressed, until I gave up making duaas, because I thought I was unworthy of happiness. I thought it was because of my intentional and unintentional sins. I thought I had to be a better Muslimah and I didn’t deserve the blessing of marriage, although I am a believing and practising muslimah. One day, it happened that the man I wanted to marry found another girl and married her. At this very moment, I thought that it was all my fault, that I was paying for my mistakes and Allaah did this to me only to punish me the hard way. In this period, I went through the worst period of my life. The more Allaah refused to answer my duaas, the more I felt “cursed” and thought that something inside myself needed to be changed! Al hamdoulillah, it took time but I finally understood that having mu duaas unanswered was not necessarily a punishment!! With time I increased my knowledge and I realised that Allaah had saved me from a marriage that would very probably have made me miserable. I looked deeply through the brother I wanted to marry and finally realised I would have been in trouble with him as he was not a practising and fearful muslim… He would probably have led me astray… And el hamdoulillah, if I am unmarried today, I know there is a wisdom behind this, because not only I think it’s not my time yet, but also, Allaah just gave me the blessing of a wonderful job, which I would never have found if I were married… I didn’t expect my duaas being answered this way, but I realised that this is the best thing that could have happened to me this year!! InshaAllaah, I am patient and will keep making duaas always, in all circumstances. Sorry for telling my life, but sometimes, stories can teach other people valuable lessons.
It hurts when our Dumas are not being anwsered and we don’t think allahmia loves us but he does. It easy easier to lose hope than to keep going
Assalamu alaikum. I loved this article and I have read as many things concerning du’a, including Yasir Qadhi’s book Du’a: Weapon of the Believer (which is very informative, by the way). But one question always remains and I think someone else commented on the same concern I have – what if I am asking for the wrong thing?
I know Allah will fulfill your du’a in the best way for you, but should a person re-phrase his/her du’a or continue to ask for what he/she desires/needs?
For example, I have been praying for a certain someone to marry for the past three years. I have done isthikhara, tahajjud, made du’a when it rains and other opportune times. I have not given up hope that my fate is in Allah’s hands and He is the best of all planners. However I am worried that perhaps my du’a is lacking. Am I supposed to keep making du’a for him like I have been in the past, or do I change my du’a?
Assalamu alaikum.i have been saying lots of duas and searching for more every time but i don’t know whats wrong with these dua none of them is answered… we are poor my dad doesn’t work anywhere and my mum is a hawker and we are 5 kids but none of us has gone to school .Every thing depends with my mum when my mum sells enough stuff beside the road ,that day we are going to eat lunch .this is why am saying we are poor .plz help me am your fellow muslim plz
Assalamualaikum wr wb,
i have done a lot of dua to save myself against spousal abuse and oppression from a 3rd party interested to steal my husband away (there have been indications that some parties have used sihr to make Husband hate me). i have asked ALLAH swt to please save my marriage and also to break their relationship. however in my humble mortal observation, things have not gotten better in fact it seems to have gotten worse. Husband blames everything on me, and how his negative feelings had grown so much towards me over the years – he says it is like cancer against me. however we shall not go into his attributes – sufficient to say that I was not the greatest wife in the land but i had worked hard to change myself.we went to a counselor and husband did not seem to want to let me go, because he said he was worried about where i would go after the D. He said he was worried that no one would take care of me which I find very puzzling considering the circumstances.
but all throughout i know ALLAH is listening and ALLAH is providing a way out….only that the way out may not be the one i’m looking for….sometimes it is really stressful….i know syaitan is coming to get me because sometimes i have a STRONG urge to kill myself. seriously. but in the name of ALLAH alhamdulillah, i got up and prayed….although admittedly it can be hard to remain convicted on ALLAH’s path at times….however ALHAMDULILLAH, i am still sane.
It is one thing to be accountable for my end of the problem, but to be told that you are also accountable for someone else’s choices AND that his choices were made apparently because of YOUR errant behaviour…but apparently YOUR errant behaviour is your fault and NEVER is it his fault because he is good and you are evil.
in that case, i am shouldering both my sins and his sins? and what does he do in the meantime? enjoy a very loyal and loving relationship with someone who he does not seem to be married yet.
i know love can change to hate but this is ridiculous.
Can someone clarify/elaborate this in the article:
It was said that If we had perfect power like Allah to determine our destinies, and perfect vision like Allah to see the future and know what is best for us, we would chose exactly the same fate that Allah has chosen for us. A saying that beautifies this point further is:
ما منعك إلا ليعطيك
He has not denied you, except to give you.
though i believe the best dua u can make is istiqarah.
I THINK WE CAN CHOOSE TO GENERALIZE IT…
WHEN asking for something…
ask ALLAH to give u that thing only if it’s good for your dunya and your akhira…
and if one doesn’t get the answer right away, know that at the exact moment you are in, that person or thing you asked for is not good for you. So then you have nothing to worry about. move on. KNow that, if this thing you want real bad, is the best thing that will help you in becoming a better person, fullfil your life, or get you to jannah, then ALLAH WILL PROVIDE IT so go on with your life until you are given the opportunity. know that ALLAH always wants the best for us. And always gives the best. When it is, ALLAH will find a way for it to reach YOU. life is simple, THINK POSITIVE ALWAYS. have the best hope in ALLAH.
sorry. i know im not religious enough to be giving advice, but i got depressed by the many people who have such little hope in GODS PLANS FOR THEM. because islam teaches us, that ALLAH will be for us, what we want him to be for us. all we have to do is polish our relationship with our creator, and then everything in the creation will become an easy accessible tool that will enable us safe passage to jannah. i truly believe that.
Assalamualaikum
I have been in this similar situation. For 8 years, I had made dua in asking Allah (swt) for a good Muslim husband. My heart always had this innate fear that I will never marry, and that I would always suffer morally, emotionally, and spiritually. Every year, I felt I was “getting older” and that my chances of marriage would continue to decrease. Also, being a mixed race from a small Muslim community, I felt I had additional challenges in finding a husband (reasons being that several Muslims are very particular about culture, nationality and language, etc.) At times, Shaytan would whisper in my ear that I am not worthy of such a blessing, and that maybe I was being punished for something. From time to time, I went through episodes of sadness and anxiety over this issue. I had been engaged twice, and had several unsuccessful attempts on getting married to a descent Muslim man, whom I found compatiable to myself.
I went online to halfourdeen.com, and exactly 1 year later (and after many years of dua and patience), Allah had finally answered my dua, Alhamduilah
. Allah had blessed me with a God-fearing, good Muslim husband. We met and married within 8 months of knowing each other, Alhamduilah. If Allah wants something to happen, He will make it EASY for you, inshAllah.
Imagine praying and making dua for something for 8 years… I know that many other Muslims have more difficult hardships than this, but it can still be very emotionally frustrating to experience.
I know without a doubt, that if you ask Allah (swt) for something, He will give it to you, within HIS time frame (and if it is BEST for you).
Maybe Allah (swt) will not give you that specific man/woman for marriage that you desire, but will give you someone else who is better for you and will bring you closer to Allah (swt). Maybe you think a particular “dream job” is best for you, but it is worse for you, and that Allah (swt) will give you a better job at another place. Only Allah (swt) knows best.
In conclusion, don’t lose hope in Allah (swt)!
He will answer your dua if you continue to ask Him. Nothing is difficult for Him. He is the All-Knowing and All-Powerful.
May Allah make us patient, and make us always strive to be closer to Him through dua and prayer. Ameen.
AMEEN YA RAB
I need help I’ve got problems I ALLWAYS asked Allah true duas to help he has
But theirs only 2 duas he didn’t answer me and I’m going crazy
Can u help me
the one who can help you is Allah. just keep your faith in Allah. if your wish doesn’t come at the end, then maybe Allah has another plan for you. but of course it will be the best for you.