Comments on: Shaking hands with a non-Mahram

By: Abu Abul Rahman

Abu Abul Rahman — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:50:16 +0000

dear brother yusuf qaradawi…as an islamic scholar and student of knowledge…isnt it enough evidence for you to clearly use the Qa’eeda of Sada Dhra’eer (Prevention of Evil) and saying shaking hands with woman (non-mahram) is Not permissible. As for your conclusion detailing the fact that when there is no fitnah or desire, it is permissible.. so i asked and hopefully you will answer me…how do we feel that desire and fitnah? maybe upon shaking hands the DEsire and Fitnah will arise? like the brother above mentioned…it is clear based on ayat to lower our gaze so Touching??? wow! BarakAllahu feek for your interpretations of set forth hadeeths…but i think this issue should be revisited by You once again. Even the great imams in the past have recanted their original opinions like Imam Ahmad May Allah have mercy on him, who had 3 different rulings on one issue Alone! that shows his Humblness in DEen and when to say wait…i need to look at more evidences…A reminder to myself before anybody…All children of Adam make mistakes..the fools among us are only those who are afraid to admit it.

By: Abd Al-Baasit Khan

Abd Al-Baasit Khan — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:17:00 +0000

♦ Just for reference’s sake, so you don’t think I’m just pulling this contention out of the blue or that it’s just my own, I’ll quickly cite Imam, Muhyid-Deen, the great Shaafi’ee Scholar: Yahya Ibn Sharaf An-Nawawi – God rest his soul – who said as follows:

وقد قال أصحابنا: كل من حرم النظر إليه حرم مسه, بل المس أشد, فإنه يحل النظر إلى الأجنبية إذا أراد أن يتزوجها, وفي حال البيع والشراء والأخذ والعطاء ونحو ذالك, ولا يجوز مسها في شيء من ذالك

“Our companions have said: Everyone whom it is prohibited for us to LOOK AT – then touching him/her is prohibited likewise. Rather, touching is even more serious! For it is permissible for someone to look at a non-Mahram woman only when he intends to marry her, or during buying/selling and giving/taking and so on, yet it is not permissible to touch her in any of these cases.”

Reference: Al-Adhkaar, p. 228.

By: Abd Al-Baasit Khan

Abd Al-Baasit Khan — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:06:58 +0000

I have a question (honest/sincere): IF we are prohibited in both the Glorious Quran & Prophetic Sunnah to even LOOK at non-Mahram women, i.e. we must lower our gaze from them, and not look at them. The 1st accidental glance is forgiven, as our beloved Nabiyy told us. But after that, we all know what he said – the 2nd glance is against you. • Here’s my sincere question to those few who claimed that shaking hands with certain conditions, etc, etc, is permissible or what have you: IF we are forbidden from even looking/gazing at non-Mahram women, HOW then can we possibly conclude that something that is even worse than that [touching her] would be allowed in Islam??? • And especially with all the evidences we have in our Clear Texts. ♠ My second, genuine contention is based on an explicit, authentic Hadith (which everyone knows in the Saheeh), that our beloved Master & Leader, Prophet Muhammad ['alayhis-Salaatu was-Salaamu wat-Tahiyyah] said: “Verily, I Do Not shake hands with women!” ~ The narrations all point to the fact that the Bay’ah/Oath of Allegiance (with women) used to be verbally. And it has not been confirmed that the Prophet shook hands with women whether during the Oath of Allegiance or at any other time. And when God’s Messenger absolutely abstained from shaking hands with women – keeping in mind the fact that he is the Ma’soom (safeguarded & protected by Allah from any and all evils & temptations) – then there is no doubt that this is only meant as a teaching for his Ummah & directing them to follow the upright path. And if the Messenger of Allah, who is the pure, most virtuous, and noble – the one whom no person could doubt his purity and his righteousness, and the cleanliness & tranquility of his heart – would not shake hands with women, and would suffice with accepting their words for the Oath of Allegiance, despite the fact that the matter of Bay‘ah (giving an oath of allegiance) is such a serious & important matter, then HOW in God’s Name can it be permissible for other men beside him to shake hands with non-Mahram women – keeping in mind the fact that the desire in them is very dominant, and that they can never be secure from Fitnah (temptation), and that the Shaytaan runs through their veins like blood?!!!

By: umm zain

umm zain — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:34:29 +0000

Salaam,
as for hugging non-Muslim cousins, I recall Imam Zaid talking about this issue. He brought up an important point that when it comes to da’wah (especially with one’s family members), you have to be very delicate and use both caution and wisdom. And if you think that telling them you can’t touch or hug them is going to turn them off from Islam (prevent them from the Big things, like believing in Allah & His Rasul, over a relatively minor fiqh issue), then just hug them. If there is desire or fitna, obviously that’s different, but if not (and for most of us, there isn’t) then we have to keep priorities in place. The other issues like touching non-Mahrams can be discussed later with them, perhaps Allahu a’lam.

By: Christine

Christine — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 14:40:29 +0000

My relatives are not muslim (they’re Catholic), and I converted to Islam almost 11 years ago, alhamdulillah. I don’t see my male cousins much (I live in another city), but when I do, they go to hug me. I’m uncomfortable because I don’t want to get any sin on my part, however I don’t want them to think that I’m “weird” for backing away, since they are my cousins. Do you think it’s okay to hug back, since in their minds there’s absolutely no thought about anything wrong (ie. cousins cannot marry cousins)?

Jazzakallah hrayr!

By: yakub

yakub — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 09:32:11 +0000

i used to shake hands NOW i say the truth ” sorry i cannot shake hands” if they further ask why, say “It’s a practice in Islam to RESPECT women”
Works great for me and its DAWAH too!

May Allaah make it easy for us! Ameen!

Shaking hands with a non-maham woman

I would like a detailed answer on the ruling on a man shaking hands with a woman, and the views of the four imams and the majority of scholars on that.

Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:

It is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and His Messenger to put his hand in the hand of a women who is not permissible for him or who is not one of his mahrams. Whoever does that has wronged himself (i.e., sinned).

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

This hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and to instill the obedience required of us by Allaah, because it implies that touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay‘ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse’

[al-Mumtahanah 60:12]

‘Aa’ishah said: Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’”

(narrated by Muslim, 1866)

It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’”

Narrated by Muslim, 1866

This infallible one, the best of mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women. This is despite the fact that the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So how about men other than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)?

It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.”

Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513.

Secondly:

It is not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between, such as shaking hands from beneath a garment and the like. The hadeeth that was narrated allowing that is da’eef (weak).

It was narrated from Ma’qal ibn Yassaar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 2855.

Al-Haythami said:

This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and al-Awsat. Its isnaad includes ‘Ataab ibn Harb, who is da’eef (weak).

Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 6/39.

Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:

The words of ‘Aa’ishah, “He used to accept the women’s oath of allegiance by words only” mean that he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates that the bay’ah of men was accepted by taking their hands and shaking hands with them, as well as by words, and this is how it was. What ‘Aa’ishah mentioned was the custom.

Some of the mufassireen mentioned that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said that he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a Qatari cloak over his hand. And it was said that ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) shook hands with them on his behalf. None of these reports are sound, especially the last one, How could ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) have done something that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was ma’soom (infallible), would not do?

Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The most correct view is that this (i.e., shaking hands with women from behind a barrier) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth, according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women;” and so as to ward off the means that may lead to evil.

(Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo’at Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, p. 69)

The same ruling applies to shaking hands with old women; this is also haraam because of the general meaning of the texts on this issue. The reports that say it is permissible are da’eef (weak).

Al-Zayla’i said:

“As for the report that ‘Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is also ghareeb.”

(Nasab al-Raayah, 4/240)

Ibn Hajar said:

I cannot find this hadeeth.

(al-Diraayah fi Takhreej Ahaadeeth al-Hidaayah, 2/225)

Fourthly:

With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:

1 – The Hanafi madhhab:

Ibn Nujaym said:

It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands even if there is no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity that would allow it.

Al-Bahr al-Raa’iq, 8/219

2 – The Maaliki madhhab:

Muhammad ibn Ahmad (‘Ulaysh) said:

It is not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for him to put his hand on hers without a barrier. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never accepted a woman’s oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; rather he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” According to another report, “His hand never touched the hand of a woman, rather he would accept their oath of allegiance by words only.”

(Manh al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223)

3 – The Shaafa’i madhhab:

Al-Nawawi said:

It is not permissible to touch a woman in any way.

Al-Majmoo’, 4/515.

Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said:

This indicates that the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not touch the hand of any woman apart from his wives and concubines, whether in the case of accepting the oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he did not do that despite the fact that he was infallible and beyond suspicion, then it is even more essential that others heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts that he refrained from doing that because it was haraam for him to do so. The fuqaha’ among our companions and others said that it is haraam to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah, such as her face. But they differed with regard to looking when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah. The prohibition on touching is stronger than the prohibition on looking, and it is haraam when there is no necessity that would allow it. If it is the case of necessity, e.g. medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, etc., if there is no woman who can do that, then it is permissible for a non-mahram to do that because it is the case of necessity.

Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45, 46

4 – The Hanbali madhhab

Ibn Muflih said:

Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No.

Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen also favoured the view that it is prohibited, and gave the reason that touching is more serious than looking.

AlAdaab al-Shar’iyyah, 2/257

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

By: Hazem

Hazem — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 06:32:00 +0000

This “fatwa” is translated from a Qatari-Egyptian website and I believe does not really fit Muslim Americans (p.s. I live in Egypt)

By: Shaking hands with a non-Mahram | Traveling Through Life

Shaking hands with a non-Mahram | Traveling Through Life — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 01:46:34 +0000

[...] Shaking hands with a non-Mahram. [...]

By: trying to improve

trying to improve — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 16:43:24 +0000

gimme tips hw to avoid dis shaking hand wit non-mahram anyone? i really tried to avoid but still i feel bad if i make thm humiliate if thy client sumtime clique friends.

By: Hassan

Hassan — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:51:47 +0000

Assalamoalaikum,
I really liked the comment of Um Hana. It was casually written but was very satisfying. And it is very encouraging to know that some of our fellow muslims are standing up for their principles in the midst of so much pressure and misunderstanding. For if i were put in such a difficult situation, i would have surrendered some of my principles just to be better “integrated” in the society. I am thankful to Allah for saving me from such trials. But i am also jealous (in a positive way) of all those Muslims who are following Islam in a much better way than i am DESPITE all the trials.
And i understand that many find Handshaking unavoidable.
for them, they should regard their case as an exception and as circumstantial rather than changing the actual rule. And should revert back as soon as it is easier for them.
because these seemingly harmless little steps taken in the wrong direction, with the wrong intention, can cause major rifts in the long run.
Protect your Imaan(in your heart) as much as possible, then even if your actions are somewhat deficient due to some difficulty Allah will always forgive you.
May Allah help and guide us all.
Ameen