Comments on: Question: What is the Most Difficult Part of Converting? http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/ Your Virtual Mosque Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:46:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Z http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-38374 Z Sun, 28 Aug 2011 08:31:06 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-38374 waleikum salam 1- dealing with the reactions of my family in the following years (just telling them was the easy part) 2- wearing hijab as a senior in high school in a small white christian town 3- having people think I'm not muslim because I'm white/a convert and laughing at me 4- dealing with a lack of support for getting married a year out of high school, issues of race came up as well for me when I wanted to marry waleikum salam
1- dealing with the reactions of my family in the following years (just telling them was the easy part)
2- wearing hijab as a senior in high school in a small white christian town
3- having people think I’m not muslim because I’m white/a convert and laughing at me
4- dealing with a lack of support for getting married a year out of high school, issues of race came up as well for me when I wanted to marry

]]> By: Desh2350 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-36184 Desh2350 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 16:32:49 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-36184 1. Family: Even though my dad's a Muslim (non-practicing), with an evangelical Christian mother, I've had to face the threat of being kicked out for going to Jummah. 2. The marriage issue: Having had to cut myself off from the rest of the world, due to the desire to avoid zina, etc. and not knowing how to approach any Muslimah in an halal manner, I've inevitably mucked things up with one I felt had so many of the qualities I've sought. And this after I met her at the wrong time. I've still to learn so much about the deen and put it into practice...plus get myself financially indpendent, etc. At 24, it seriously feels too late...looks like bachelorhood for me. And this is probalby the one thing that would truly break my faith at this point (been through most of the rest and I'm still here, lol). The lack of any possibility of sharing my life with someone who has the same faith as me, just makes all my efforts at bettering myself seem pointless. Besides, it truly feels like my parents (who wanted me to be a non-Muslim), decided this one for me a long time ago... 3. Getting harassed by random brothers for following a madhab, especially the Maliki one at that (traditionally followed by my family). 4. Being one of the only two Muslims in my town, with the nearest masjid 1-2 hrs. away. Other than that, I've faced and gotten over the rest, so far that is, lol... 1. Family: Even though my dad’s a Muslim (non-practicing), with an evangelical Christian mother, I’ve had to face the threat of being kicked out for going to Jummah.

2. The marriage issue: Having had to cut myself off from the rest of the world, due to the desire to avoid zina, etc. and not knowing how to approach any Muslimah in an halal manner, I’ve inevitably mucked things up with one I felt had so many of the qualities I’ve sought. And this after I met her at the wrong time. I’ve still to learn so much about the deen and put it into practice…plus get myself financially indpendent, etc. At 24, it seriously feels too late…looks like bachelorhood for me. And this is probalby the one thing that would truly break my faith at this point (been through most of the rest and I’m still here, lol). The lack of any possibility of sharing my life with someone who has the same faith as me, just makes all my efforts at bettering myself seem pointless. Besides, it truly feels like my parents (who wanted me to be a non-Muslim), decided this one for me a long time ago…

3. Getting harassed by random brothers for following a madhab, especially the Maliki one at that (traditionally followed by my family).

4. Being one of the only two Muslims in my town, with the nearest masjid 1-2 hrs. away.

Other than that, I’ve faced and gotten over the rest, so far that is, lol…

]]> By: Seema http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-32191 Seema Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:34:03 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-32191 Sr. Sahara The sisters behave that way weather you are a revert or a born muslim...it is a "woman" thing, and nothing to do with Islam/culture, but their own insecurities (I have been told pount blank that they do not invite me to their homes bec they fear that their husbands may develop interst in me and it may breakup/disrupt their family lives!!), I know bec I am a practising born-muslim, and have learnt my lesson...and like one of the brothers who mentioned above, I too just pray at home now and stick with Quran/hadith and websites like this. Sr. Sahara
The sisters behave that way weather you are a revert or a born muslim…it is a “woman” thing, and nothing to do with Islam/culture, but their own insecurities (I have been told pount blank that they do not invite me to their homes bec they fear that their husbands may develop interst in me and it may breakup/disrupt their family lives!!), I know bec I am a practising born-muslim, and have learnt my lesson…and like one of the brothers who mentioned above, I too just pray at home now and stick with Quran/hadith and websites like this.

]]> By: Sahara M. http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-9746 Sahara M. Sat, 14 Feb 2009 15:48:43 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-9746 Assalamu 'aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, 1. Telling my family. 2. Finding supportive sisters (I always thought this was going to be the easy part!) SubhanAllah when you walk up to a sister and ask them for a little help, they're like OK, and when you actually contact them, they always have better things to do! I mean SobhanAllah, this can turn off potential future muslims! This really makes me angry, and we should all feel the same because this really has to change! Alhamdulilah that didn't make me lose my interest in Islam but come on, this is an O-BLI-GA-TION, it's not like, 'I'll do it when I have time', helping someone who wants to enter the religion should be a PRIORITY. On a side note, people probably don't even realize the hassanat they can get by doing so... And it's even more so important to help the converts because once they have told their family (which they usually do right away), they have NO-ONE, they are all alone, they lose old non-muslim friends, family support, society is against them (if they wear hijab) so this feeling of loneliness might turn them off. To avoid this, muslims should constantly be aware of who is asking questions about islam, who is interested, who has muslim potential, who converted, etc... I know it's not always easy to figure, but What could possibly be worse than a brother/sister leaving Islam because the community didn't support them (or because you didn't make an effort to help them on this journey)? 3. Also, some muslims (and I totally understand) assume that because you look middle-eastern (and actually ARE middle-eastern) you have to be a muslim. Well, that's not true. If you tell them you're a convert, they don't take you seriously and assume you already know how to pray, behave in a masjid, and every other aspect of our faith. So these were/are the most difficult aspects of my conversion to Islam :) May Allah subhana wa ta'ala give strength to the converts all around the world and make them become good muslims. Amin. wasalamu 'aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh Assalamu ‘aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

1. Telling my family.

2. Finding supportive sisters (I always thought this was going to be the easy part!) SubhanAllah when you walk up to a sister and ask them for a little help, they’re like OK, and when you actually contact them, they always have better things to do! I mean SobhanAllah, this can turn off potential future muslims! This really makes me angry, and we should all feel the same because this really has to change! Alhamdulilah that didn’t make me lose my interest in Islam but come on, this is an O-BLI-GA-TION, it’s not like, ‘I’ll do it when I have time’, helping someone who wants to enter the religion should be a PRIORITY. On a side note, people probably don’t even realize the hassanat they can get by doing so… And it’s even more so important to help the converts because once they have told their family (which they usually do right away), they have NO-ONE, they are all alone, they lose old non-muslim friends, family support, society is against them (if they wear hijab) so this feeling of loneliness might turn them off. To avoid this, muslims should constantly be aware of who is asking questions about islam, who is interested, who has muslim potential, who converted, etc… I know it’s not always easy to figure, but What could possibly be worse than a brother/sister leaving Islam because the community didn’t support them (or because you didn’t make an effort to help them on this journey)?

3. Also, some muslims (and I totally understand) assume that because you look middle-eastern (and actually ARE middle-eastern) you have to be a muslim. Well, that’s not true. If you tell them you’re a convert, they don’t take you seriously and assume you already know how to pray, behave in a masjid, and every other aspect of our faith.

So these were/are the most difficult aspects of my conversion to Islam :)

May Allah subhana wa ta’ala give strength to the converts all around the world and make them become good muslims. Amin.

wasalamu ‘aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

]]> By: Abu Layla http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-7060 Abu Layla Sun, 19 Oct 2008 04:53:33 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-7060 With culture, we're replacing the culture of ethnic Muslims with Western culture. Both are cultures--not saying that either is right or wrong. With culture, we’re replacing the culture of ethnic Muslims with Western culture.

Both are cultures–not saying that either is right or wrong.

]]> By: Aischa http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-5823 Aischa Tue, 09 Sep 2008 06:32:26 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-5823 Asalaamu alaikum, I think the hardest thing comes later. Everything can be challenging at first, but you have high from conversion that carries you. After about 7 years (for me) you start to realize that Muslims have many problems, and there are many splits, and many different paths. Negativity sets in and you get worn down and question your faith... This is when a convert needs help, without being judged, or dismissed for having questions. We need a sort of second step to go through, a second level of educating ourselves---I mean we already know how to pray, and fast and all that, so that we can pull through. I guess one of the earlier hardships for me, and other sisters in my east coast group, was converting after marriage, and becoming more practicing than your spouse---mine ended in divorce, and I think for other's too. That was nerve wracking. Asalaamu alaikum,
I think the hardest thing comes later. Everything can be challenging at first, but you have high from conversion that carries you. After about 7 years (for me) you start to realize that Muslims have many problems, and there are many splits, and many different paths. Negativity sets in and you get worn down and question your faith… This is when a convert needs help, without being judged, or dismissed for having questions. We need a sort of second step to go through, a second level of educating ourselves—I mean we already know how to pray, and fast and all that, so that we can pull through.
I guess one of the earlier hardships for me, and other sisters in my east coast group, was converting after marriage, and becoming more practicing than your spouse—mine ended in divorce, and I think for other’s too. That was nerve wracking.

]]> By: jm http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-4206 jm Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:35:38 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-4206 Asalamu-aliekum, The hardest thing about being a convert? 1. Family 2. Family 3. Family Sigh....I love my family so much and it is down-right brutal on my iman and my very soul straddling both worlds...I'll quote Tolstoy, from War and Peace: "But Pierre knew nothing of that; entirely engrossed in what lay before him, he was suffering the anguish men suffer when they persist in undertaking a task impossible for them – not from its inherent difficulties, but from its incompatibility with their own nature. He was tortured by the dread that he would be weak at the decisive moment, and so would lose his respect for himself." How do I reject my family's MO without rejecting them? So I stay silent, much to my own shame...may Allah guide me. Asalamu-aliekum,

The hardest thing about being a convert?

1. Family
2. Family
3. Family

Sigh….I love my family so much and it is down-right brutal on my iman and my very soul straddling both worlds…I’ll quote Tolstoy, from War and Peace: “But Pierre knew nothing of that; entirely engrossed in what lay before him, he was suffering the anguish men suffer when they persist in undertaking a task impossible for them – not from its inherent difficulties, but from its incompatibility with their own nature. He was tortured by the dread that he would be weak at the decisive moment, and so would lose his respect for himself.”

How do I reject my family’s MO without rejecting them? So I stay silent, much to my own shame…may Allah guide me.

]]> By: Mohamed Ali http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-3971 Mohamed Ali Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:54:20 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-3971 Assalam Aleykum wr wb I am a born muslim who is grown up in a muslim family - but in a non-muslim society. In my childhood- my father was mostly away because of his job. My mother was not a fully practicing muslim woman (no hijab)- only fasting in ramadan . I was in a german kindergarden where they gave me a book with pictures about the story of jesus a.s.. I liked this book- i could not read- but i have just seen the images who made me understand. I did not like the crucification at the end. I could not read, i knew nothing about the quran..but i felt that it is not the truth. I told my mom from the book and she has told me that it is not the real end - i was happy. In the kindergarden they taught me how to pray before the dinner and showed me how to do the cross-sign with my hands. They gave me pork as food too. When i was at home before dinner i have done what they have taught me in the kindergarden- my mom got a shock and said that i should not do this again..and that i should not eat pork again. As you can see- even an arab child can be a so-called a convert or a revert. When i got to school and have learned how to read and write. I did like to take part in the religion class- the stories of the prophets (christian version). But i was not allowed to continue taking this class on religion because i am a muslim. My father had contact to a Doctor from our city who gave him the hint to take his boys to a masjid - for learnig arabic and islam. It was quite far away from our town- but it was a good decision- So i have learned Alif-ba-ta-tha, some suras by heart and on the sira till my brother was annoyed of going to the masjid. My bigger brother had big influence on me and the idea that a goat ate a paper of the quran made led me to have doubt on the quran- and i went back from the light to the darkness till i got 23. While i was studying in a city, without having my parents or my brother around me, i have forgotten a lot of things- i forgot that i have even a little sister somewhere on this earth. I was in the darkness and depressed...One day my parents came to me and gave me some books on islam in german language. My parents did not pray at that time but knew that there is something what can help me to get out of this situation. I have read the book from Maudoodi called "Weltanschaaung und Leben im Islam" translated by Ahmad von Denffer. I have started to approach to Allah with that..step by step- alhamdulillah. I have made my shahada with 23/24 i guess. And then i started to pray and did not tell it to my parents because they did not pray. One day they found out that i do pray and that i read quran and read ahadith sometimes. They have felt my change- so they also started to think more on Allah and Islam. They pray now and did the hajj- alhamdulillah. And alhamdulillah i had a good childhood and good parents. Some converts do lose contact to their family- that is a very hard issue. But i do love Allah more than everything- and we are all in different test situations. It does not matter if born in muslim family, convert or revert- but dying as a muslim with a heart full of good deeds and the belief in Al- Rahim does matter. we are ONE UMMAH OF MUHAMMED SWS , ALLAHU AKBAR Wa Salam Assalam Aleykum wr wb

I am a born muslim who is grown up in a muslim family – but in a non-muslim society. In my childhood- my father was mostly away because of his job. My mother was not a fully practicing muslim woman (no hijab)- only fasting in ramadan . I was in a german kindergarden where they gave me a book with pictures about the story of jesus a.s.. I liked this book- i could not read- but i have just seen the images who made me understand. I did not like the crucification at the end. I could not read, i knew nothing about the quran..but i felt that it is not the truth. I told my mom from the book and she has told me that it is not the real end – i was happy. In the kindergarden they taught me how to pray before the dinner and showed me how to do the cross-sign with my hands. They gave me pork as food too. When i was at home before dinner i have done what they have taught me in the kindergarden- my mom got a shock and said that i should not do this again..and that i should not eat pork again. As you can see- even an arab child can be a so-called a convert or a revert.

When i got to school and have learned how to read and write. I did like to take part in the religion class- the stories of the prophets (christian version). But i was not allowed to continue taking this class on religion because i am a muslim. My father had contact to a Doctor from our city who gave him the hint to take his boys to a masjid – for learnig arabic and islam. It was quite far away from our town- but it was a good decision- So i have learned Alif-ba-ta-tha, some suras by heart and on the sira till my brother was annoyed of going to the masjid. My bigger brother had big influence on me and the idea that a goat ate a paper of the quran made led me to have doubt on the quran- and i went back from the light to the darkness till i got 23.

While i was studying in a city, without having my parents or my brother around me, i have forgotten a lot of things- i forgot that i have even a little sister somewhere on this earth. I was in the darkness and depressed…One day my parents came to me and gave me some books on islam in german language. My parents did not pray at that time but knew that there is something what can help me to get out of this situation. I have read the book from Maudoodi called “Weltanschaaung und Leben im Islam” translated by Ahmad von Denffer. I have started to approach to Allah with that..step by step- alhamdulillah. I have made my shahada with 23/24 i guess. And then i started to pray and did not tell it to my parents because they did not pray. One day they found out that i do pray and that i read quran and read ahadith sometimes. They have felt my change- so they also started to think more on Allah and Islam. They pray now and did the hajj- alhamdulillah. And alhamdulillah i had a good childhood and good parents. Some converts do lose contact to their family- that is a very hard issue. But i do love Allah more than everything- and we are all in different test situations. It does not matter if born in muslim family, convert or revert- but dying as a muslim with a heart full of good deeds and the belief in Al- Rahim does matter. we are ONE UMMAH OF MUHAMMED SWS , ALLAHU AKBAR Wa Salam

]]> By: Suhaib Webb http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-3665 Suhaib Webb Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:02:47 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-3665 Asalamu alaykum, Bro, Khalis could you please contact me? SDW Asalamu alaykum,

Bro, Khalis could you please contact me?

SDW

]]> By: Khalis http://www.suhaibwebb.com/ummah/converts/question-what-is-the-most-difficult-part-of-converting/comment-page-1/#comment-3660 Khalis Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:36:09 +0000 http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/?p=184#comment-3660 "that interest is forbidden and his dream career is essentially forbidden in Islam, and he should focus his energies on another aspect of Finance." As salaamu alaikum, I am an accounting and finance major. Their are many aspects about finance that are not Haram. i.e. commodities, stock, real estate etc., investments in businesses etc. He can work as a financial analyst for a business that buys or invests in other businesses that are halal. Many corporations in America are in the business of buying other companies, and or their stock. If it is not a business engaged in Haram then he is okay. Also regarding 'riba' I am very reluctant to paint everything thing with one broad stroke. If I loan you 20,000 to start a business and it takes you 15 years to pay me back, I should only get 20,000.00 back? Absolutely not! In 15 years the 20,000 that you give me back will only be worth 12-14,000.00. So I will actually lose. “that interest is forbidden and his dream career is essentially forbidden in Islam, and he should focus his energies on another aspect of Finance.”

As salaamu alaikum,

I am an accounting and finance major. Their are many aspects about finance that are not Haram. i.e. commodities, stock, real estate etc., investments in businesses etc. He can work as a financial analyst for a business that buys or invests in other businesses that are halal. Many corporations in America are in the business of buying other companies, and or their stock. If it is not a business engaged in Haram then he is okay. Also regarding ‘riba’ I am very reluctant to paint everything thing with one broad stroke. If I loan you 20,000 to start a business and it takes you 15 years to pay me back, I should only get 20,000.00 back? Absolutely not! In 15 years the 20,000 that you give me back will only be worth 12-14,000.00. So I will actually lose.

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