Should I avoid socializing in the homes of family and friends who drink alcohol? If I have a family, is that something to be concerned about introducing them to an environment where there is alcohol or where alcohol may be consumed.

I know I am kind of late to this conversation but I thought I’d add my two cents.

When I converted to Islam, there were two major things that I would have loved help with—–>

1) how to deal with the rigidity present within our Ummah (e.g. only focusing on halal/haram and not one’s personal/spiritual development and kindness…….the focus on the black and white issues kind of zaps one’s iman after a while) and avoiding deviant or hardhearted sects.

2) How to deal with social issues such as loneliness and isolation as a convert……even after years of being muslim, it still sucks to ignored/eyed suspiciously at masjid events…even if you are actively trying to be outgoing and friendly. But I guess this is more of a human element rather than an islamic issue.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala help you to write and publish this book Its sorely needed!

Your sister in Islam,

*JetLagged*

My broad questions are about:

1) female converts without walis (and when I approached the local masjid imam with the thought that he was my wali because I had read that in the books – well that was a joke).

2) finding a real sense of community and real friends

3) raising up muslim kids whose family, school and environment is practically all non-muslim

4) how to have the “first” conversations with old friends, family, neighbors etc. about being muslim

Since many of our issues have a wide variety of proper responses to it, it might be good to also include anecdotes from non-scholars about how they have dealt with the issue.

For example, give a few stories of how folks have dealt with Christmas. I’m sure there are a variety of ways of dealing with it, and a variety of responses from non-muslim relatives.

I also think there should be latitude and circumspection on these things. Our families are all different. Our regional differences are there. Etc. I don’t think there’s 1 version of america or the american family that we come out of, so that has to be taken into consideration.

I know many converts have issues about being told not to celebrate christmas at all, to break ties with relatives, etc. and then had problems with offended family members. i had the opposite experience.

I was literally screamed at with what I can only describe as hatred by the imam – who was foreign and never celebrated x-mas in his life, and had no christian relatives – because I had told my parents I was not celebrating x-mas with them. He berated me about showing my parents disrespect, etc. No doubt he had me labeled as some kind of fanatic.

But actually, my parents had been really cool about the whole thing. There had been no rift between myself and my parents. In my america, folks like to be told straight. Straight talk IS politeness. It was not like they were unaware I had become muslim, and they were engaged in the process of understanding where I was coming from as a muslim.

But then I did an about-face because of this imam. One year, I found myself in a harried state, dragging the kids around the mall, humming the x-mas tunes blasting out of the speakers, doing last minute christmas shopping for all the relatives – because it would be rude in my family to just give presents to my parents and ignore everyone else, plus my kids had to give presents to everyone too. And I thought, “I am a muslim but I am doing christmas, and my kids are doing christmas.” It was exactly as if I was still a christian. And now it’s not only christmas, but birthdays, and all the hallmark holidays in between. Now it would be really hard to reverse myself with my parents and the rest of my family.

I’m not living up to my conscience as I once had been, and I feel terrible. I lack the initial confidence I had. All the things I had initially been firm on – prayer, hijab – I have kept alhamdulillah. And my parents even remind me to make salaat when at their house!

But the things I was bullied on – the x-mas thing is but one example – I feel my confidence was undercut and never recovered from that.

So it’s not one-size-fits-all. And I think any advice on these kinds of subjects should take into consideration a wide variety of situations.

Thank you, and please, keep making Da’wah.

Your sister in Islam,

K.S.

My name’s Daniel and I have recently returned to the path of acceptance of God’s/Allah’s Will.

The suggestions & topics that NEEEEEEEEED to be addressed urgently, in my estimation, are:

- Name changes when you convert/revert (this ties in with identity and bridging the gap with your family when you convert/revert.

- Family relations with non-Muslim family
- The divisions that are in the Ummah (very serious and almost killed my Niyah)
- The history of our planet (many people are guided by scientific theories and when they convert/revert, they don’t lose those theories easily)
- Human evolution and other humanoids who died out (Neanderthals). Where does one draw the line on human beings and their collective history? This is very important, and unfortunately I found that some brothers were not patient enough when I asked these types of questions. May Allah make me and them patient.

- Culture and Islam >> Major League Question for many converts/reverts.

I have many more that I’ve sub-divided into groups and connected them for easier reading for the convert/revert.

I also teach English and come from a strong literary English background (both parents). I am studying English at university and I write a lot in my own capacity. If I can volunteer whatever abilities the Lord of the Throne has given me, then I hope I can be of assistance.

One question though: Where is the contact address for the website? Can I email you my email address?

With the warmest of greetings,

Your (new) brother on the path of tranquil surrender,

Daniel

I would like to begin by thanking you for providing this opportunity to raise questions. I am a recent convert to Islam of around two years, and, coming from an intolerant Catholic family, this has proven to be a difficult and lonely endeavor. I am going to graduate school for Urban Planning in London in the fall and I have decided who inshAllah I want to marry. My great fear is that my parents won’t bless me and wish ill upon me. Although they are educated people, they have enormous amounts of ignorance about Islam, as they equate it with the “religion of the terrorist” in thoughts and deeds. My question is, in this holy month of ramadan, how do I go about forgiving my parents for their ignorance? Why have my parents wished ill upon my marital plans when they should be blessing me? To me this has bern the most difficult part of converting. How can one honestly honor one’s parents if they have next to no respect for your decisions in life?

May Allah’s blessing be upon you all

Julien