Not to gang up on akh abdullah who is clearly trying to fear Allah and holds an understanding that it is not allowed for men in women to intermingle unless there is a necessity. What Haq is trying to say in laymens terms is that the original ruling in culture/customs is permissibility until there is an authentic text which changes that original ruling and as outlined in the article, our deen forbids mingling in which men do not lower their gaze and women do not observe hijab. So if a believer knew that the Islamic code of cross-gender intermingling will not be observed by some then they should appoint a suitable person of each gender to properly advise those who don’t comply, otherwise the meeting should be held seperately or with a partition with different entrances.

On the issue of just friendly gathering between couples and their families with the purpose of strengthening brotherhood. It would also be allowed to have casual cross-gender small talk although the same Islamic principles must be observed. On the other hand as Muslims who are defined by the character of Haya’ (shyness/modesty) it would be more comfortable for everyone if the genders were seperated, especially for women who might want to take off their head covering.

It seems as though in this subject the Arab culture has imposed its strict culture as the prevailing fiqh opinion in many cases and sadly the women often pay for mens shortcomings. I suggest anyone wanting to truly understand how cross-gender mingling was in the time of the Prophet (saws) to read the Arabic book “The liberation of the woman in the time of the Prophet” by Abdul-Haleem Abu shuqqah. This book blew my mind straight from the authentic collections showing that you shouldn’t just beleive all that your told. This book as a whole is enlightening and only a few issues in its entire 6 volumes have a strong refutation as to the meaning and application of the mentioned texts.

Wallahu a’lam,

Abu Majeed

is it ok for the opposite sexes to hold gatherings only for the purpose of socializing?

Factors (like the ones mentioned) make it forbidden (due to Sadd Ath Tharai) hence we must keep this in our minds when dealing with this. Sometimes it is approached as if the asl is hurmah, and then it is permitted for necessity (Dharuratan) which seems to be how our dear brother Abdullah has mentioned. Taking this into account, we need not be that uptight when mix gatherings take place to the extent that it feels uncomfortable and unproductive.

Peace…