Archive for the ‘Spouse’ category

My Husband Misunderstands My Mood Swings

Question: I have a question about the moods and hormones of women and how men should handle them. I feel depressed sometimes without reason or I feel low, but my husband gets angry with me. Then if I complain a bit or get angry with him that he isn’t giving me enough time, he gets […]

Secrets From My Husband’s Past

Question: My husband had girlfriends in the past which he refuses to talk to me about. During our engagement, he made it clear that he wasn’t an angel in the past, but that he’s a different man now and he doesn’t like to talk about his past since it is between him and Allah. He […]

Be my Valentine

Imam John ‘Yahya’ Ederer talks about love between husbands and wives by illustrating the married life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) as explained in the Sunnah. Imam Yahya talks about the Islamic ideal of Love with the ideas currently subscribed to our secular American Society. Should Muslims celebrate Valentine’s Day? MAS Khuthbah – […]

Age Difference Between Spouses

Question: My question is in regard to age difference in marriage and understanding how realistic it is in the North American context. I am 28 years old and there is a particular brother I am interested in who has incredible character and whom I feel I really click with. The issue is that he is […]

My Wife is Always Angry

Question: My wife and I are newly married, and I feel she is always angry with me.  During the planning of the wedding, I thought her moodiness was due to the stress of the wedding. However, her frustration has continued into our marriage. The smallest of things that I say or do, which in my […]

Love the Libas (Clothing)

By Sabeen Mansoori The beauty of this perfect deen (way of life) that Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) has blessed us with is in its details. There is an intricate system of protection for the personal space of the believing man and the believing woman. There are additional safeguards built into an Islamic […]

I Can’t Get in the Mood with my Husband

Question: I have a serious problem and was hoping you could offer some advice. I have been married for three months, meaning we just had the wedding and moved in together three months ago. Prior to that, I had my nikkah (religious marriage ceremony) for one year.  The marriage was not consummated then, and we […]

Distance in Marriage

Question: I have been married for 15 years and now have 2 children. Generally my marriage has been good. My husband and I are both practicing Muslims and we are raising our children with Islam. My husband is helpful with our children, dropping them off at school, helping with homework, and I take care of […]

My Husband Has Not Consummated Our Marriage

Question: My husband and I have been married for two and a half years now, but we have not yet consummated our marriage.  He does not have a physical problem. He tells me the reason is because of school and family pressure, but I just don’t know if that’s true.  This issue has taken a […]

Wifehood and Motherhood are Not the Only Ways to Paradise

“Why are you majoring in that field?” I asked a sister in college. She sighed, “To be honest, I just want to get married. I don’t really care about what I’m studying right now. I’m just waiting to get hitched so I can be a wife and a mother.” “It’s awesome that she wants to […]

Question on Intercourse

Question: I have a very sensitive question.  I would like to know if oral sex is permitted or whetherit is haram (impermissible) in Islam.  Could you tell me what the ruling is? Answer: No problem; “Allah is not shy of the truth” (Bukhari). Oral sex is permissible between husband and wife as long as neither […]

Abused Men

The idea that a man could be abused seems unimaginable to many. Yet it is a reality. Abuse of men is socially minimized because people do not know enough about the cycle of abuse. But domestic violence against men, and abusive relationships of all types, occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious and socio-economic levels. The […]

Hurting Homes

Abuse is a topic that many Muslims shy away from because it is uncomfortable to tackle an issue that is complex and appears unsolvable.  Many times when I address the topic of marriage, I clarify that the strategies I suggest do not apply to abusive relationships. Yet, what I have learned is that people who […]

People leave each other. But do they return?

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II Leaving is hard. Losing is harder. So a few weeks ago I asked the question, ‘why do people have to leave each other?’ The answer took me into some of my life’s deepest realizations and struggles. But it has also led me […]

Mother, Not Martyr

Being a mother is certainly not easy. As Allah describes in the Qur’an, “His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.” (31:14). These weaknesses are often referred to as pregnancy, birthing and nursing. But that is just the beginning. Mothers are in the daily “trenches” of […]

Why do people have to leave each other?

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question […]

6 Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Divorced

By Amal Killawi and Zarinah Nadir Divorce is never easy. But it’s the reality for 50% of American couples and 31% of American Muslim couples.  With these statistics, you’re likely to have friends or know people in your community who have been divorced or are currently experiencing a divorce. Divorce is often a time of […]

Intercultural & Interfaith Marriages

Muslims in America represent diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds and this has lead to an increase in intercultural and interfaith marriages. Despite the taboo amongst parents in the Muslim community of marrying “outside” of one’s race, culture or religion, there is an emerging trend of young couples marrying based solely on religion, disregarding culture or […]

In-Law Interference

Part I | Part II Marriage is the bringing together of two families. However, many couples struggle with exactly how to mesh two families together while maintaining their independence as a couple.  When a couple gets married, an extended family is created as well as the beginnings of a new family that the couple will […]

Defining Manhood: The Facade of Being “Hard”

Last week my sister called.  She has been studying abroad since summer began, so naturally I was thrilled to hear from her.  After hearing how she was, I asked about her new home.  With her living in a Muslim country, I felt assured that everything would be fine.  For that reason, what she described next […]