Archive for the ‘Spouse’ category

Question on Intercourse

Question: I have a very sensitive question.  I would like to know if oral sex is permitted or whetherit is haram (impermissible) in Islam.  Could you tell me what the ruling is? Answer: No problem; “Allah is not shy of the truth” (Bukhari). Oral sex is permissible between husband and wife as long as neither […]

Abused Men

The idea that a man could be abused seems unimaginable to many. Yet it is a reality. Abuse of men is socially minimized because people do not know enough about the cycle of abuse. But domestic violence against men, and abusive relationships of all types, occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious and socio-economic levels. The […]

Hurting Homes

Abuse is a topic that many Muslims shy away from because it is uncomfortable to tackle an issue that is complex and appears unsolvable.  Many times when I address the topic of marriage, I clarify that the strategies I suggest do not apply to abusive relationships. Yet, what I have learned is that people who […]

People leave each other. But do they return?

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II Leaving is hard. Losing is harder. So a few weeks ago I asked the question, ‘why do people have to leave each other?’ The answer took me into some of my life’s deepest realizations and struggles. But it has also led me […]

Mother, Not Martyr

Being a mother is certainly not easy. As Allah describes in the Qur’an, “His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.” (31:14). These weaknesses are often referred to as pregnancy, birthing and nursing. But that is just the beginning. Mothers are in the daily “trenches” of […]

Why do people have to leave each other?

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question […]

6 Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Divorced

By Amal Killawi and Zarinah Nadir Divorce is never easy. But it’s the reality for 50% of American couples and 31% of American Muslim couples.  With these statistics, you’re likely to have friends or know people in your community who have been divorced or are currently experiencing a divorce. Divorce is often a time of […]

Intercultural & Interfaith Marriages

Muslims in America represent diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds and this has lead to an increase in intercultural and interfaith marriages. Despite the taboo amongst parents in the Muslim community of marrying “outside” of one’s race, culture or religion, there is an emerging trend of young couples marrying based solely on religion, disregarding culture or […]

In-Law Interference

Part I | Part II Marriage is the bringing together of two families. However, many couples struggle with exactly how to mesh two families together while maintaining their independence as a couple.  When a couple gets married, an extended family is created as well as the beginnings of a new family that the couple will […]

Defining Manhood: The Facade of Being “Hard”

Last week my sister called.  She has been studying abroad since summer began, so naturally I was thrilled to hear from her.  After hearing how she was, I asked about her new home.  With her living in a Muslim country, I felt assured that everything would be fine.  For that reason, what she described next […]

Divorce Under Duress?

The Question: There were some recent problems between my wife and I. Due to a physical threat from one of her family members, I was forced to divorce her. I love her greatly and I did not intend to divorce her. I was under duress and direct physical threat. Is the divorce valid? The Answer: […]

A Successful Marriage: The Missing Link

“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30:21) We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have […]

Question Regarding Marital Rape

Question: Is marital rape allowed in Islam? Answer: As salaamu alaykum, Thank you for asking this important question which has come to the fore in recent times, and which has been the cause of confusion for many people. Here are some important points to take into consideration when learning about this issue: It is absolutely […]

Family Values

Becoming the Servants of the Most Merciful Series Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV People have different notions of defining contentment when it comes to their family. Many people feel […]

Lying to Your Husband to Set Him Right?

Answered by Dr. `Ali Goma | Translated by Naiyerah Kolkailah Question: My husband used to drink alcohol, and I am someone who prays alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah). I was very concerned and unsure of what to do, so I lied to him, and I hope that Allah forgives me. I told him: ‘I dreamt of […]

50 Things You Need to Know About Marital Relationships

Excerpted from Al Maghrib Institute’s “Fiqh of Love” seminar with Shaykh Waleed Basyouni. Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it. If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness. It […]

Escaping the Worst of Prisons

When Sara met Ahmed, she immediately knew. He was everything she had always dreamed of. Meeting him was like watching the sun rise in the middle of a snowstorm. His warmth melted the cold. But soon admiration turned to worship. Before she could understand what had happened, Sara had become a prisoner. She became a […]

Musa & Safurah: a Courtship, a Romance

by Hena Zuberi I am from Generation X. Raised on ‘Pretty in Pink’ and Sweet Dreams romance novels, some of my friends read Mills and Boons, others raved about the unattainable love in the Thorn birds; but I preferred the grand passion of Wuthering Heights. That was my idea of a romance – filling each […]

How You Say It Matters!

The Powerful Effect of XYZ Statements on Your Relationships Part I | Part II The other day as I was leaving work, I overheard a woman talking on the phone. She was standing at the front of the bus talking loudly to her mother who was apparently upset about some comments her daughter had made […]

Hurt by Others: How to Cope and Heal

When I was growing up, the world was a perfect place. The only problem was, that it wasn’t. I used to believe that everything could always be ‘fair’. To me that meant no one should ever be wronged, and if they were, justice must be served. I fought hard for the way I believed things […]