Archive for the ‘Before Marriage’ category
A Marriage Mystery
By Meltem Baykaner I have recently reached that age. Many sisters will know the age that I am speaking of. It is an age not necessarily marked by a number, but rather recognised by the way you are treated… Having bounded through childhood, jumped the hurdles of adolescence and, alhamdulillah (praise be to God), somehow [...]
Is Passionate Love in Marriage…Real?
10 Considerations when Searching for the One “I’m afraid of getting married,” she told me. She, like the countless other women who had approached me, confessed what she thought was unique to her. “I’m constantly told by older married women that I should enjoy my life being single because marriage is a burden. I’ve never [...]
Want Your Marriage to Last? Get Premarital Counseling
Originally posted in February 2012 I spent my time at a recent wedding listening to people’s marriage problems. As the guests danced the night away in celebration, I sat in the back of the hall talking about shattered dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes, we had to scream to hear each other over the music. There [...]
Will Marriage Solve My Problems?
By Fyora Luul After engaging more with the Muslim community through activities like da`wah (calling to Islam), conferences, and halaqat (study circles), I have observed something intriguing: there seems to be a fascination—even obsession—with the topic of marriage. Regardless of whether a particular lecture is dedicated to something other than gender relations, the topic of marriage [...]
Polygamous Marriage
Question: I have been discussing marriage with a brother. He seems to have everything I’m looking for in a spouse, and even though we’re still getting to know each other better, feelings get deeper on both sides. The problem is, he doesn’t oppose polygamy, and said he could have more than one wife at a [...]
Sunni-Shia Marriage
WebbStaff Note: This article does not represent a fiqhi (legal) ruling on the permissability of Sunni/Shia marriages. We encourage those who are dealing with an intra-religious or inter-religious union to seek advice from a qualified local religious scholar, as is mentioned below. This article is solely meant to represent a counseling perspective on how to deal with marriage when the two [...]
Hook Up with Allah, Allah will Hook You Up
Originally published in April 2010 Before I got married, I was given unsolicited advice on how to change in order to make myself “more appealing” to men. Sisters would voluntarily tell me I should change my dress style, personality and passion for activism in order not to scare them away. I was frustrated. Since when [...]
Battling Temptation (Part II)
By Amina Atwel Battling Temptation: Part I | Part II You might think only men suffer from Ahmed’s problem (Part I). But let me tell you about Mona. She was a very bright, energetic sister in her mid-20s—a graduate student working part-time and volunteering regularly at the local masjid and several Islamic organizations. She led [...]
Should I Consider Him for Marriage if I’m Not Attracted to Him?
Question: I am talking to a guy for marriage. I respect his character, and we align in all the important ways: faith, goals, family desires, etc. The problem is that my attraction towards him is very neutral. He is growing on me, but it is clear that he is developing feelings faster for me than [...]
Marriage as Medicine
Abdullah Brothers’ Ramadan Masjid Tour: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII Jumah is the best day of the week. The Khateeb, Imam Suleiman, sent a purifying message at the Atlanta Masjid. He talked about the diseases of the heart. The more he spoke, the more I began to feel dirty, and dirtier, until I [...]
Problems with Attraction
Question: I have been trying to get married for the past few years, and the main problem I am facing is that whoever is brought to me as a prospect through my family or the community, I am just not physically attracted to them; and it is not because I am looking for a super [...]
Loneliness
Question: I was engaged to be married, but one day my fiancé changed like the weather, and chose to marry another woman. I have been broken, humiliated, and abandoned. Now, every time I try to move forward with other relationships, I face another failure. I have been deserted by those I love the most, betrayed, [...]
Do I Tell My Parents That I Don’t Want to Marry My Cousin?
Question: I am engaged, but it has not brought any of the anticipated excitement, anxiousness, nor eagerness. I have had growing pessimism, doubts, and concerns because my parents have asked for my cousin’s hand in marriage. I did oblige initially, but the more I think about my future with her, I begin to have more [...]
Dwell In Tranquility
Dwell in Tranquility: an Islamic Roadmap to the Vibrant Marriage is aimed at helping Muslims—at any stage in the marriage process— to understand themselves and what they want in their marriage in order to build a strong and loving partnership. The following is an interview with the author, Kamal Shaarawy, who is also the founder [...]
Intercultural Marriages: A Qur’anic Reflection
By Eyad Alnaslah In Islam, the concept of diversity and tolerance is found many times in the Qur’an and hadith (records of the words of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him). We find diversity in all our mosques and Islamic functions, with Muslims from different parts of the world, and of different cultures and [...]
Be my Valentine
Imam John ‘Yahya’ Ederer talks about love between husbands and wives by illustrating the married life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) as explained in the Sunnah. Imam Yahya talks about the Islamic ideal of Love with the ideas currently subscribed to our secular American Society. Should Muslims celebrate Valentine’s Day? MAS Khuthbah – [...]
Age Difference Between Spouses
Question: My question is in regard to age difference in marriage and understanding how realistic it is in the North American context. I am 28 years old and there is a particular brother I am interested in who has incredible character and whom I feel I really click with. The issue is that he is [...]
Wifehood and Motherhood are Not the Only Ways to Paradise
“Why are you majoring in that field?” I asked a sister in college. She sighed, “To be honest, I just want to get married. I don’t really care about what I’m studying right now. I’m just waiting to get hitched so I can be a wife and a mother.” “It’s awesome that she wants to [...]
Hurting Homes
Abuse is a topic that many Muslims shy away from because it is uncomfortable to tackle an issue that is complex and appears unsolvable. Many times when I address the topic of marriage, I clarify that the strategies I suggest do not apply to abusive relationships. Yet, what I have learned is that people who [...]
People leave each other. But do they return?
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II Leaving is hard. Losing is harder. So a few weeks ago I asked the question, ‘why do people have to leave each other?’ The answer took me into some of my life’s deepest realizations and struggles. But it has also led me [...]
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