May Allah reward you generously.

I’m not really able to comment on the U.K situation since my experience is in the USA. However, I have found that most of the kids who attend excellent public schools, combined with good parenting, seem to turn our much better than those who attend Islamic Schools who are sub par in their education religious and otherwise. This is my experience and it is not something that is written in stone. However, as and educator, I tend towards sending my own kids to public schools for a number of reasons:

1. Preparation instead of incubation:
I’ve seen many kids come out of Islamic schools incubated and unable to deal with the drama that awaits them in High School and the Campus. Thus, and I’ve put this question to Islamic educators before, we need to move from and incubation psychology to one that prepares, empowers and strengthens our young people. By sending children to education reservoirs we are failing to prepare them for what awaits them. Thus, indirectly, we might be creating inverted personalities who fail to connect with the fact that they are part and parcel to the society at large. This effort to “protect them” as I’ve seen, only increases their hunger to break away from the pride lands and kick it with Beyonce. The most difficult youth I’ve dealt with were all graduates from such reservoirs. On the other hand, youth who went to public schools, had non-Muslim friends and engaged were far more comfortable with themselves. The others, to put it bluntly were walking Freudian slips.

2. Education standards and Ethics:
So far, and I’ve taught in Islamic schools for a number of year and have a degree in elementary education, I’ve not seen, at least in the States, any Islamic school that can educate a child the way public schools do. The latter have issues, but the former have not, in most cases I’ve seen, lived up to the visions associated with them. When it comes to testing your kids, addressing learning issues and cognitive development, many public schools are setting some amazing trends. Islamic schools are not able to offer the same resources for a simple reason: money.

3. Politics:
Unfortunately Islamic Schools have become the focus of many a political battle in communities. Wives, who are unqualified, of mosque board presidents get hired and some boards have no clue about education. In fact, I remember, during a job interview being asked, “Does one really need a degree to be a good teacher?”

4. At the end of the day, WE must raise our kids:
No Islamic school, nor any other institute is going to do the job that good parents can do. It is a simple fact that schools, and in recent years, the internet are closing in on parents as the most important factors in a child’s life. However, religion, morals and faith should be looked at like a grammar that is acquired, not preached, or uploaded. Organic, robust religious experiences come through a set of sociological constructs that are formed, shaped, nurtured and lived in one’s home.

Allah knows best but I would:

1. Make Istikhara.
2. Talk with other parents in the community.
3. Make a decision based on the above.
4. Visit both schools and look at the philosophy of each school/ask to see test scores as well.

We ask Allah to bless you both, protect your children and raise your status. Please don’t take these words and write them in stone. They are mere opinions. They might be right or they might be wrong.

SDW

I forgive him for anything and I ask Allah to reward him for everthing he did for me and coulndt do for me. I feel like there is something missing in my soul, I dont wish this pain on anyone…

The air is gettin’ hotter, there’s a rumblin’ in the skies.
I’ve been wadin’ through the high muddy waters /water,
But the heat riseth in my eyes. /With the heat rising in my eyes
Every day your memory goes dimmer,
It doesn’t haunt me like it did before.
I’ve been walkin’ through the middle of nowhere,
Tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door.

When I was in Missouri, they would not let me be.
I had to leave there in a hurry, I only saw what they let me see.
You broke a heart that loved you,
Now you can seal up the book and not write anymore.
I’ve been walkin’ that lonesome valley,
Tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door.

People on the platforms, waitin’ for the trains.
I can hear their hearts a-beatin’, like pendulums swingin’ on chains.
When you think that you’ve lost everything,
You find out you can always lose a little more.
I’m just going down the road feelin’ bad,
Tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door.

…

I’m goin’ down the river, down to New Orleans.
They tell me everything is gonna be all right,
But I don’t know what “all right” even means.
I was ridin’ in a buggy with Miss Mary-Jane,
Miss Mary-Jane got a house in Baltimore.
I’ve been all around the world boys,
Now I’m tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door.

Gotta /Gonna sleep down in the parlor, and relive my dreams.
I’ll close my eyes and I wonder, if everything is as hollow as it seems.
Some trains don’t pull no gamblers,
No midlife /midnight ramblers like they did before.
I’ve been to Sugartown, I shook the sugar down,
Now I’m tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door.

SubhanAllah, I enjoyed reading this article, I am not a parent yet, but it just made me reflect on my own family and how me and my brother were raised/are being raised. JazakAllahKhair for the amazing advice!

Salam

Once again thank you for the wise words, I just wanting to get your thoughts on sending children to Islamic school. I’m in the process of finding a school for my daughter (5 years). The problem I have is do I send her to state school which is well equipped and has the qualified teachers and their conduct with the children is correct according to their age, but lacking all the Islamic adam and Islamic knowledge. or do I send her to a newly formed islamic school teaching Islamic studies based on the Azhae system but lacking in English, Science and Maths. The resources are not very good the building is not child friendly ; the teachers don’t have the right training. The children don’t have much room to play as there no playground.

Deep down I want her to go to the Islamic school as she’s currently going to an Islamic nursery which she really enjoys and she has learnt a lot from there. It seems if she goes to state school the 1 and half year at nursery learning the correct adab will be wasted.

I would appreciate any advice

Shukran

Wa’alikumussalaam